The Good, the Bad, and the Unlikely

By Timothy Furnish Published on December 30, 2022

My favorite 70s band warned “don’t look back.” But the urge to do so, at the end of every calendar year, is well-nigh irresistible. Herewith, then, my tally of winners and losers from 2022.

Winners:

Losers:

Picking winners and losers is easy. Predicting the future, however, is hard. Many have tried to do so. Cassandra. Nostradamus. Edgar Cayce. Some actually did so, successfully. Biblical prophets don’t really count, since they had divine help. I don’t claim that. But I do have a seasonal beard. That qualifies me to take a stab at prognostication for the coming year.

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My projections:

  • The Russia-Ukraine war will end with the former annexing the far southeastern provinces: Kherson, Zaporizhia, Donetsk, Luhansk. And without Putin nuking anyone.
  • Biden’s teleprompter will tell him to announce that he is not running for a second term. This will set off a cage match between Gavin Newsome, Kamala Harris and, yes, Hillary Clinton.
  • Indiana Jones V will actually be good and redeem Indy’s allure tarnished by Crystal Skull. Mainly because of John Rhys-Davies and Antonio Banderas.
  • The Cincinnati Bengals will win the Super Bowl over the Philadelphia Eagles.
  • Robert Cardinal Sarah will be elected Pope after Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI dies and the current Bishop of Rome, Francis, resigns. Yes, I am putting more faith in the Holy Spirit than in Vatican politicking here.
  • The Islamic Republic of Iran will not only weather the current anti-regime protests, but will announce it has built at least one nuclear weapon for the Mahdi.
  • Kickboxer and “media influencer” Andrew Tate, convert to Islam, will marry multiple women in order to show he’s as much a “true Muslim” as those fine chaps in ISIS and the Taliban.

There you have it! Check back with me late December 2023 to see how these held up.

Happy New Year!

 

Timothy Furnish holds a Ph.D. in Islamic, World and African history from Ohio State University and a M.A. in Theology from Concordia Seminary. He is a former U.S. Army Arabic linguist and, later, civilian consultant to U.S. Special Operations Command. He’s the author of books on the Middle East and Middle-earth, a history professor and sometime media opiner (as, for example, on Fox News Channel’s War Stories: Fighting ISIS). He currently writes for and consults The Stream on International Security matters.

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