Should Teachers Force Public School Kids to Compose Prayers to the Vaccine?

By John Zmirak Published on May 31, 2021

On the COVID vaccines issue, I consider myself a moderate, who pursues the Golden Mean. That’s because I know the full range of opinion on the subject, and how far the poles stand apart. Let’s hijack the standard Left/Right spectrum — too one-dimensional to be useful in real political philosophy — and use it here.

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Speaking metaphorically, what would be the “far-right” position on the whole pandemic? The most hard-core “right-wing” stance I’ve seen so far would have to be the following.

The Full Conspiracy Theory

The COVID epidemic was intentionally created in a Chinese lab with the direct involvement of Dr. Anthony Fauci, at the behest of global elites including Bill Gates. Whether or not it leaked accidentally in 2019, it was always intended for use as a terror pandemic. The elites’ goals (war-gamed in advance) included some, or perhaps all, of the following:

  • Crash Western economies while largely sparing China — which as a totalitarian anthill could contain the virus more quickly. Indeed, China was welding infected citizens in to die in their homes, while filling airplanes from Wuhan with infected people flying to Italy, and throughout the West. (Recall how Biden called Trump’s ban on such flights to the US “racist”? I do.) This would speed up China’s rise to replace the US as the global hegemon.
  • Suddenly end the Trump economic boom, and put Red Chinese asset (see Hunter’s laptop) Joe Biden in the White House. Let tame members of the Deep State “discredit” the laptop until the election.
  • Close thousands of independent small businesses, while enriching virtual monopolies such as Amazon, and big box stores.
  • Centralize thereby economic power in the hands of a much smaller number of “Woke” corporations, whose boards are already cowed or controlled by globalist, pro-LGBT activists.
  • Hustle panicked citizens worldwide to surrender their most basic freedoms out of a desperate fear of death.
  • Set a real-world precedent for leftist leaders such as Andrew Cuomo and Gretchen Whitmer to rule virtually by decree, with key provisions of the Constitution effectively suspended.
  • Offer a “public safety” rationale for leftist social media monopolies to outright censor dissenting speech on a massive scale.
  • Enact a “Great Reset” that promises to “build back better,” enabling governments and transnational agencies to make our rights to free speech, religious practice, free assembly, and private property conditional on “public health” as determined by cherry-picked, media-anointed “experts” like … Dr. Fauci.
  • Make “reopening” after a useless, even counter-productive lockdown dependent on citizens jumping through hoops and obeying arbitrary orders.
  • Use “vaccine passports” as a pretext to let huge corporations and governments track all our movements, all through our lives. Extend Woke “cancel” culture until it mirrors the Chinese “social credit” system, and politicizes our every decision, handing control over our lives to tiny ideological elites. (“I see here you bought AR-15 ammunition/ a transphobic book/ a ticket to hear some extremist speak. You’re fired and canceled.”)
  • Enshrine abortion as almost a sacred, sacramental practice, by ensuring that all vaccines against pandemics depend on exploiting aborted babies‘ human remains (either in development or testing). Expand their use through medical research at every level, using babies killed at every stage of pregnancy (including late-term children close to birth).
  • Bully the churches into suspending their objection to cannibalizing unborn children for parts. Threaten to brand dissenters “enemies of public health” who are “endangering the vulnerable.” Thus the pro-abortion stance can be rebranded as “pro-life,” and the pro-life position painted as effectively pro-pandemic. The Vatican itself seems to edging toward such a switcheroo. How long before squishy evangelical leaders follow suit?

Does HYDRA Really Exist, Though?

The above position isn’t really “fringe.” It’s mostly based on facts, things that actually happened. However, it’s certainly open to question how much of that list above was 1) planned in advance 2) via conscious conspiracy and 3) meticulously executed by a disciplined and secretive elite.

The above actions might have appeared like the exquisitely coordinated moves of a supervillain conspiracy (see Marvel’s “HYDRA”). But it’s equally likely, I think, that the bad actors above were mostly just muddling through. Powerful people trained to think alike in our loathsome universities, consumed by the same foolish godless ideas, acting in predictably contemptible and opportunistic ways. It’s always hard when studying the past to figure out which parts can be traced to which of the three main engines of history: the World, the Flesh, and the Devil.

A Depopulation Plan

Because I don’t necessarily buy into the “coordinated conspiracy” theory of a “Plandemic,” I can’t accept the key tenet of the “far-right” view of vaccines. Namely, that the vaccines were carefully managed by HYDRA (or its real-world equivalent) to serve some direct evil purpose. Yes the vaccines were rushed through, mostly without animal testing, and dumped on the whole population while still labeled “experimental” by the government. So I can see why people are paranoid. (Actually, if you’re not a little paranoid by now, you’re just not paying attention.)

But I must hop off the rightward moving train at this point. I don’t think there’s anywhere near sufficient evidence to support the claim that this is a “DeathVaxx,” intended to either a) kill millions of people or b) render them sterile. I get emails that assert this all the time. You probably do as well.

Save us, dear vaccine.
Take us seriously.

Instead, I oppose any vaccine made by exploiting the cells of murdered unborn babies, as I would any based on Nazi experiments during the Holocaust. I won’t take it, and neither should you. If you’re desperately afraid that you might die of the virus — which the vaccine won’t even prevent, but might mitigate — then you might not be culpable in God’s eyes for doing so. But remember that what you’re doing is analogous to a starving man on an island eating the flesh of a child murdered by savages. It’s nothing to brag about.

A Vulgar End Zone Dance

It is mighty suspicious that we have let someone like Bill Gates attain so much power over public health. You know, since he constantly talks about the need to drastically curb human population around the world. Especially since birth rates are already plummeting almost everywhere, to the point that some future shrunken generation will likely just euthanize us when we’re old — since they won’t be able to care for us.

If HYDRA is real, I’d like to slip it a little note. Maybe via my old Yale classmate, Fareed Zakaria. If there IS a global conspiracy, he definitely attends its meetings in some abandoned Swiss salt mine each year on Halloween or on the birthday of the Marquis de Sade. It would read something like this:

Dear HYDRA/World Economic Forum/Pope Francis Study Group:

If you must speed up the arrival of end-times by conducting a misanthropic global social experiment, could you please be a little more subtle about it? Your actions since 2019 may have been effective, but they were so obvious as to be vulgar. Who’s crafting your strategy, some failed TV screenwriter with a serious cocaine addiction? Maybe don’t put in charge of steering global health billionaires like Bill Gates who demand human depopulation. That’s just tacky, like an end-zone victory dance. Surely you learned better manners at Eton, Exeter, or Sidwell Friends School than that. If you must promote evil via a global conspiracy, is it too much to ask for a little good sportsmanship? I don’t think it is. See you at the next reunion.


John Zmirak, Yale ‘86

P.S. Also, who thought it was a good idea to have public schoolteachers assign their students to write little prayers to the vaccine? Cut it out. It gives your game away. (So cringe.)

Do Not Taunt the Vaccine. Speak to it Soothingly and Respectfully

That’s right. As promised in this slightly rambling column’s title, teachers are doing just that via the Global Vaccine Poem Project. A mainstream Canadian radio host reported on this with a straight face. One of these poor students — beaten down and isolated after a year of lockdowns — offered this messianic take on the abortion-tainted vaccine:

Save us, dear vaccine.
Take us seriously.
We had plans.
We were going places.
Children in kindergarten.
So many voices, in chorus.

Give us our world again!

Tiny gleaming vials,
enter our cities and towns
shining your light.

Restore us to each other.
We liked our lives.

Maybe we didn’t thank them enough.
Being able to cross streets
with people we didn’t know,
pressing elevator buttons,
smiling at strangers,
standing in line to pay.
We liked standing in line
more than we pretended.

It’s a quick prick in the arm.
You’ll barely notice it.
It’s the gas in the car.
Getting us going again.
It’s the turn in the road.
Face-to-face conversation
someday soon?

It’s the hug. Forever,
it’s the hug!
Vaccine, please make the air clean!

We went to yoga classes,
deep collective breathing,
in small rooms in cities
where we didn’t even
live! How brave we were.

Vaccine, please.
Restore our lives.
Believe they were beautiful.

It is tempting to add at the end, “Amen.” Or perhaps that must wait until researchers finish making the sacred Vaccine available in white wafers that look like church Communion hosts. Yeah, that’s happening, too.


John Zmirak is a senior editor at The Stream, and author or co-author of ten books, including The Politically Incorrect Guide to Immigration and The Politically Incorrect Guide to Catholicism. He is co-author with Jason Jones of “God, Guns, & the Government.”

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