Should We Just Call Demi Lovato ‘Legion’? And Other Current Debates
"Obadiah" and "Karen" square off.
The Stream is running a series of fanciful political dialogues between a white female Democrat, “Karen,” a Manhattan native, and a white male Republican from Lubbock, Texas, “Obadiah.” Obadiah has been banned from Twitter and Facebook thanks to Karen’s complaints. So he has been mostly using Gab.com. There Karen has taken to trolling him. To avoid her, today Obadiah is using Parler, newly revived from Amazon’s attempt to censor it. But Karen has hunted Obadiah down on Parler, too.
KAREN: I see you’ve found another unregulated outlet for hate speech and bias.
OBADIAH: Yeah, isn’t the First Amendment “bonkers,” as idle rich Woke inbred immigrants the color of iced veal like to tell us? Much better to have hate speech laws to muffle speech by people you hate, by accusing them of hate for others. Puts the burden of proof right where it belongs, on the accused.
Haul off and punch those Nazis first, then let them try to prove their innocence. But nobody with white male privilege is really innocent, anyway. In fact, when such people try to deny that they’re racist, that’s just evidence of “white fragility,” which is part of white racism anyway. If you really are committed to Equity, you won’t try to deny your guilt. You’ll welcome your punishment, like the hero of Darkness At Noon embracing his execution for the good of the Proletariat.
My Pronoun Is “Legion”
KAREN: I saw you laughing at Demi Lovato’s statement, when they made their announcement about their sexuality this week.
OBADIAH: It would take a man with a heart of stone not to. I kept reading her statement to see when she would confess “My name is Legion, for we are many,” (Mark 5:9). But maybe her PR flak cut that part out.
I know that it’s important for some public Christians to take a compassionate approach, and explain in detail what poor Miss Lovato’s confused about. She is, after all, a victim of Disney, which seems to turn sweet, talented young people into twisted, haunted shells of human beings in just a few years. (See: Britney Spears, Miley Cyrus, Bella Thorne, Lindsey Lohan.) No surprise, given that its movies are now all about making us side with witches, root for dog-skinning dominatrices, and otherwise invert our God-given instincts, the better to worship the Devil. It’s as if Disney execs had read That Hideous Strength as a corporate strategy manual.
KAREN: So you’re saying that transgenderism is practically demonic?
OBADIAH: No, I’m saying it’s demons getting practical, putting their hatred of Creation into effect. Dosing, even carving up troubled kids’ bodies and forcing us all to lie about the whole human species. Threatening dads with prison and Christian colleges with bankruptcy if they don’t repeat the lie themselves.
KAREN: And you think that mockery is the proper “Christian” response?
OBADIAH: It’s my role, as a “heckler for the Kingdom of God,” to mock the new false gods that are popping up all around us. For instance, the nasty little idol of people’s “sexual identities.” Every citizen who’s ever won some sporting events or appeared on a TV show now somehow feels entitled to make a vulgar sculpture depicting his genital longings and erotic confusions. And we’re all supposed to burn incense in front of it. Except I plan to throw rotten tomatoes, till I run out of them.
KAREN: And it doesn’t matter how many transpeople’s suicides you cause.
OBADIAH: If you have a mental illness whose symptoms are so severe that seeing people disagree with your delusions in public could put you at danger of suicide, you definitely need help. But not so much with your sexual confusion as with your narcissism. You expect the world to affirm your fantasies, and silence anybody who doesn’t, or else you’re going to kill yourself.
So free speech turns into “violence,” and debate makes you feel “unsafe.” That’s the scam they’re running at Ivy League colleges. I only hope that these campus snowflakes really are as fragile as they claim to be. They’ll collapse at their first contact with the real world of free people, and do less damage than I expect from them. Certainly Miss Lovato has collapsed, and that is sad. She needs to get away from her shrinks, “allies” and handlers. They’re as dangerous to her as Michael Jackson’s anesthesiologist was to him.
The Woke Church of Caesar, Mammon, and Sodom
KAREN: I’m thankful to the Universe that people like you are losing power over everything. Even your own Catholic church has turned against you. It’s now flirting with pro-choice politics, and leaving unpunished priests who bless same-sex unions in Germany.
Please Support The Stream: Equipping Christians to Think Clearly About the Political, Economic, and Moral Issues of Our Day.
OBADIAH: The leaders of the Catholic church haven’t turned against me. (Who am I? Nobody. ) They’ve just ceased to believe in God, full stop. That is, in the theistic, personal God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jesus. They might revere “the Universe” and some pantheistic God-term they conflate with it and its laws such as entropy, gravity, and the survival of the fittest. (Which is what Hitler did, come to think of it.)
KAREN: Now you think you have the right to judge the pope. Oh boy, does White Privilege give you people ideas.
OBADIAH: Based on what he and his allies say, I’m making a judgment, yeah. No way do these people believe in an afterlife that starts with them being judged and ends with them getting what they deserve. (Or having to beg for mercy to avoid it!) They do seem to cherry-pick a few arbitrary stances from the old Christian world-view, such as opposition to racism and some vague sense that the “first shall be last,” which they seem to read the way Marx did, instead of Jesus.
KAREN: Of course you’re consumed with hate for the Pope of the Poor.
OBADIAH: Pope Francis likes to keep the poor around like a lucky fetish. He “loves” them so much he wants to make lots more of them. Or maybe he sees them as pets: compliant, dependent, and ignorant. His economics and politics would produce a global favela, where he could strut around and dispense the occasional alms. He also adores the super-rich, like rock singers, Clinton Foundation trustees, and oligarchs from the World Economic Forum. Why else is he always partying with them at the Vatican, and backing their Great Reset power grab?
The group he openly hates: Uppity, free citizens with sufficient disposable income to push back against the State. Francis wants to herd them back into the favela, and shove them onto the breadline, where they’ll learn to tug their forelocks and bow at the nice gay Jesuits who are helping to run the place.
KAREN: So are you leaving the Catholic church then?
OBADIAH: Nah, what’s the point? Francis doesn’t have the guts to risk a thunderbolt by teaching any of his toxic, stupid heresy via papal infallible statement. He knows he doesn’t need to, of course. He can demolish most of the church without speaking the words “ex cathedra.”
Actual believing Catholics have already learned to ignore everything coming from Rome. And to stop giving money to institutions that have been hijacked. We’ll sit back and watch as the lavender bishops with 95 IQs demolish everything around them. Once the money is gone, and the church has zero influence or power, the only men willing to become priests will again be serious men of faith (instead of gay Democrats too dumb or lazy to do any other job).
KAREN: So you’re just going to spend Saturdays at one of your gun ranges, and Sundays at a church whose worldwide collapse you fully expect in your lifetime?
OBADIAH: I’m confident God has a plan. Every time I see one of the rainbows you people hang everywhere, I think of the old spiritual: “God gave Noah the rainbow sign/No more water, the fire next time.”
KAREN: [Signs off and sends a report to Obadiah’s local bishop, requesting that he be excommunicated. Nobody bothers to answer her. She’d failed to include a check.]
John Zmirak is a senior editor at The Stream, and author or co-author of ten books, including The Politically Incorrect Guide to Immigration and The Politically Incorrect Guide to Catholicism. He is co-author with Jason Jones of “God, Guns, & the Government.”