Gay Gossip Blogger Perez Hilton Hopes His Son Will Be Heterosexual

Perez Hilton, left, and his daughter Mia Alma Lavandeira arrive at the LA Premiere of "The Star" at The Regency Village Theatre on Sunday, Nov. 12, 2017, in Los Angeles.

By Michael Brown Published on April 8, 2018

Gossip columnist Perez Hilton is an out and proud, unapologetic, gay man. Yet, he recently said, “If I had my preference, I would prefer my son to be heterosexual, because that’s easier.” He added, “As a gay man, I’m not ashamed of being gay. But if I could go back in time and when I was 18, be given a choice — you can choose to be gay and be gay, or you can choose to be heterosexual and be heterosexual — I would have chosen then to be heterosexual.”

This is remarkable on many levels.

Hilton Thinks He Had No Choice

First, as fully expected, we see that Hilton did not think he had a choice to make about being gay. In his perception, this is who he was, and this was to be his lot in life.

This is how the vast majority of those who identify as gay feel: “I was born this way (or, I’ve always been this way), and my only choice is whether or not I act on my desires.”

All of us who reach out to the LGBT community need to bear this in mind. For the most part, people do not just decide, “I think I’m going to be gay.”

Hilton Does Not Wish the Same for His Kids

Second, despite Hilton’s own fame as a gay man, he does not wish the same for his kids. (He now has three children, a boy, born 2013, and two girls, born 2015 and 2017, all conceived via donor egg and carried by surrogate mothers.)

As for his own life, while he did say he would have chosen to be heterosexual if he could have as a teenager, at this point he says, “I’m not going to change now, because my life is OK now.”

Still, he states that in America and worldwide, gay and trans people still have “a harder road to travel on” and “we’re still discriminated against.” That’s why it’s “easier” to be heterosexual.

Of course, he’s absolutely right. It is easier to be heterosexual, but it’s not just because of discrimination and the like.

Instead, as heterosexuals: 1) we’re living in harmony with our divinely-intended design; 2) only a tiny minority of the population identifies as LGBT, making this a heterosexual world; 3) heterosexuals, by design, can reproduce naturally, without the need for donor eggs or in vitro fertilization or surrogate mothers; and 4) heterosexual reproduction naturally joins a child to its mother and father.

This is not to deny that gay parents can love their children. Not for a second. Many gay parents are extremely devoted to the kids they are raising.

Hilton was clear about this too, saying, “Ultimately, every decision I make for my son is what I think is best for his future. I don’t want to do anything that could potentially hurt him. . . . If my son turns out to be gay, or if he’s already gay but not able to articulate that yet because he’s only 5, I will love my son unconditionally and support him. If my son is transgender, I will love him and support him unconditionally.”

Yet even this proud, successful gay man hopes that his son will be heterosexual.

And this leads to the third point, which is why Hilton addressed the issue at all.

Hilton Admits Environment Can Contribute to Same-Sex Attraction

On a previous podcast, he said that he refused to put his son into dance class “because I think dance class might help make your son gay.”

Again, this is a remarkable statement, as Hilton recognizes that environment and not just genetics can contribute to same-sex attraction.

He said, “I’m not going to put a number on it, but I would say a good amount – maybe like 50 percent or more – of little boys who take dance class end up being gay. I don’t think it’s a homophobic thing to say. Just like I don’t think it’s a homophobic thing to say that a disproportionate amount of male singers/actors/dancers on Broadway are gay. There are more gay men drawn to that profession. That’s not homophobic, that’s just a fact. . . . Maybe there are so many gay dancers because they were already gay going into dance class and dance just spoke to them.”

So, he suggests that some boys are drawn to dancing and the performing arts because “they were already gay.” But he’s concerned that others might become gay because of the environment.

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I believe he’s right on both points, although I wouldn’t say that a 5-year-old boy was already “gay.” Rather, I would say that the child was already evidencing attitudes and behaviors that could one day manifest in same-sex attractions. (As the saying goes, predisposition is not predestination.)

At the same time, there is no question that environment plays a major role in influencing sexual and gender perceptions. That’s why a 2016 “study by trend forecasting agency J. Walter Thompson Innovation Group found that only 48 percent of 13-20-year-olds identify as ‘exclusively heterosexual,’ compared to 65 percent of millennials aged 21 to 34.”

Additionally, “When it comes to gender, over a third of Generation Z . . . strongly agreed that gender did not define a person as much as it used to — only 28 percent of millennials felt similarly. Over half, 56 percent, of Gen Z said that they knew someone who went by gender neutral pronouns such as ‘they,’ ‘them,’ or ‘ze,’ compared to 43 percent of people 28 to 34.”

Of course, some argue that this spike in LGBT identity is “a reflection of growing up in a world with unprecedented access to information and communities.” So, the argument goes, it’s easier today for people to recognize and accept their real identity. But that is to oversimplify and overstate.

Instead, I would argue that impressionable children are being bombarded with media and messaging that celebrate homosexuality and that challenge gender distinctions, because of which kids are experiencing greater confusion. This is anything but positive.

A Word for Perez Hilton

The bottom line, though, is that we’re talking about people, not statistics, and I was genuinely moved watching Hilton’s video.

And so, Perez, if by chance (really, by God’s providence) you read this, I’m writing as a friend, not a foe. And my message to you is simple: Just as you love your son — no, infinitely more — God loves you. If you will surrender to His love and His plan for your life, you will find that He has something far better for you than what you have known so far.

But the first choice you must make is not about heterosexuality. I agree with you that you just can’t snap your fingers and make that happen.

Instead, the choice is about submitting your life to Jesus the Lord. It is about choosing to put your trust in the One who died for you, asking Him to wash away your sins and give you a brand new life. It is about asking Him to have mercy on you and transform you. From there, the adventure begins.

What’s stopping you?

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  • Trilemma

    2) only a tiny majority of the population identifies as LGBT

    What’s a tiny majority? 50.001%?

    • Dena

      When you google it, it is 3.8%. Not half.

  • Kaz

    The kids I know who were raised by gays or lesbians have many stories to tell – all of them scary. A child is a precious thing in itself, it should not be considered an acquisition like a car or house, something that a homosexual does to prove to heterosexuals that he is our equal. This is just wrong.

    • I know lots of kids raised by straight parents with horrific stories to tell. There are terrible parents everywhere, regardless of sexual orientation. Meanwhile, I know lots of gays and lesbians with kids, all of whom think a children is a precious in themselves, and should not be considered an acquisition like a car or house, and they are raising kids to prove to gays are equal to heterosexuals. Your ignorance has made you so sadly just wrong.

  • It’s always almost funny but really just sad when straight people try to explain gay people to gay people.

    • Ria Pendergrass

      You’ve got it twisted. That’s not what he’s doing. He’s simply showing him the way to Christ.

  • Fran

    Yes, you can’t get delivered from homosexuality without Jesus as your Lord; no other god ( because all the other ones are false gods) can deliver him from homosexuality. Jesus is the One True God.

  • Instead, as heterosexuals: 1) we’re living in harmony with our divinely-intended design …

    Right–a gay man who wants his kids to not be gay has to be for reasons like this, not because conservatives have done their best to make life as a homosexual difficult.

    • FromWhereIAm

      I remember the first time I heard the derogatory slang word for homosexual – it came from my mother. We were sitting in our car outside of a Blake’s Lota Burger, eating. A man with a barber’s or cosmetician’s white shirt (1960’s) was standing in line waiting to place his order. The store was lit up so everyone was on display in a sense. She was the one who pointed out how he held his hand on his hip and other gestures. At some point, he turned around and noticed her laughing. I remember not finding any of it amusing at all. Her mocking face hurt him and then made him angry. He “threw a finger” at her, which, of course, angered her. I was around six. She acted indignant about that, but I felt sorry for him. I saw the deep sadness in his eyes before I saw the angry response that followed. For whatever reason, that memory is as clear today as it was then. However he became “queer”, her treatment of him was just wrong. One of the reasons I listen to Dr. Brown is that I know he is not coming from the same place my mother was. Where did she learn that? Probably from someone else – but did she ever question it? She is 92 now and I may never know – she’s forgotten so much already. While I strongly object to people losing their businesses (like Melissa’s Sweet Cakes) over their religious convictions, I also strongly object to mistreating others who identify differently. If we treated one another like we ourselves would want to be treated, we’d be closest to Christ, who commanded that of us.

      • It sounds like you’re thoughtful about the effect society’s anti-gay attitude has had. Good for you.

        Unfortunately, I think that the Bible is more used on the negative side of this issue than the positive side. I wonder when conservative Christians will drop the anti-same-sex marriage stance.

        • FromWhereIAm

          Conservative Christians will not likely be dropping that, Bob. Biblically, homosexual acts fall under the umbrella of “sexual immorality” – along with other types of sexual expression – and that umbrella carries over from the OT (e.g.Leviticus 18) to the NT (e.g. Acts 15:20; 1 Thessalonians 4:3 – – and several other places in the NT). It will not ever be embraced by conservative Christians. Most likely it will be by what are regarded as “liberal churches”. Though they are on shaky theological ground in sanctioning and performing weddings for same-sex couples, no doubt their influence will increase.

          I am a conservative and Christian, and I think, largely because of that, I do believe in fairness and right treatment for my fellow man. And while I concede that fidelity is better than promiscuity by far, and that (probably most) same-sex couples experience most (if not all) of the same romantic impulses that heterosexual couples do, I agree with Dr. Brown that “God has a better way.” I think it would be ‘putting the carriage before the horse’ to expect the church to conform to the world; rather, that the world must first submit to Christ and draw its life from Him, and all blessings flow from that life-changing relationship.

          • Biblically, homosexual acts fall under the umbrella of “sexual immorality”

            Biblically, homosexual acts fall under the category of ritual abomination. That is, it’s not objectively harmful to anyone (Lev. 18 and 20 also talk about kosher laws, which are also ritual abominations); it’s just sinful because God said so.

            Remember how Christianity says that the kosher laws aren’t relevant anymore? Christians could do the same for homosexuality.

            There’s more to it than this, and I can point you to a blog post of mine if you’re curious.

            It will not ever be embraced by conservative Christians.

            You could be right. Conservative Christians were slow to change their embrace of biblical support for slavery as well (I’m thinking of Lev. 25:44-46 in particular).

            I agree with Dr. Brown that “God has a better way.”

            OK, but that’s a theological claim, not a claim based in psychology, statistics, and other kinds of evidence.

            I think it would be ‘putting the carriage before the horse’ to expect the church to conform to the world

            But it has. The OT supports slavery for life, polygamy, genocide, and so on. Modern Christians, even conservative ones, have reframed biblical support for those (doesn’t much matter how) so that they can be Christians and still accept modern morality. They could do the same for homosexuality.

            Conservative Christians aren’t against same-sex marriage because the Bible is clearly against it (as I’m sure you know, it doesn’t address the topic specifically); they’re against it because they’re reading the Bible in such a way to preserve their own anti-homosexual bias. As you point out, there are plenty of churches that happily call themselves Christian that are pro-same-sex marriage.

          • FromWhereIAm

            Bob, I strongly disagree about some of your assertions and feel I can prove you wrong, Scripturally. However, right now I’m trying to herd the family together for dinner, so I will take your quotes apart later.
            Until then,

  • FromWhereIAm

    Dr. Brown is right – the beginning of any new life begins with the One who gives it.

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