Ex-Gay is Here to Stay

God is delivering people from the gay lifestyle. There are too many to ignore.

By Michael Brown Published on July 7, 2017

For 11 years, the Truth Wins Out website aggressively attacked those who claimed to be ex-gay, along with individuals and organizations that supported ex-gays. Last month, Wayne Besen, the founder of Truth Wins Out, announced that he was closing shop because, he claimed, “we accomplished our major goals.”

What, exactly, were those goals? Wayne writes, “We helped expose and ultimately vanquish (with the help of other heroes) major ‘ex-gay’ programs including Love Won Out, Exodus International, and JONAH.” Still, he reluctantly notes, “similar programs will always exist, as charlatans will provide a supply of snake oil to fill a demand.”

The reality is quite the opposite. It is true that some specific networks and ministries no longer exist. But it is more and more common for local churches to help individuals struggling with same-sex attraction, meaning that this is not only a specialist ministry.

Not only so, but the ultimate reason Exodus closed was because it lost sight of its mission, which was helping men and women deal with unwanted same-sex attraction. That’s why the most important organizations that were affiliated with Exodus left before it closed. And that’s why those organizations are still going strong to this day.

In fact, new groups like Restored Hope Network have risen up in place of Exodus, and they are not selling snake oil. They are selling the truth of the gospel, namely, that Jesus can help and change anyone and everyone. He does not exclude homosexuals from His transforming love.

Professional counselors and therapists have seen great results too, and they continue to network together to help those who struggle.

‘Gay’ No Longer Defines Them

There’s something else that has happened, making it more difficult for organizations like Truth Wins Out to raise funds and continue their work. More and more people have friends, family members, and co-workers who are ex-gay, and so it’s becoming increasingly difficult to deny their existence.

Some of these ex-gays are in wonderful, heterosexual relationships and have been for decades. Others have seen a real decrease in same-sex attraction in their lives, for which they’re thrilled. And others are still attracted to the same sex but recognize this as wrong in God’s sight and contrary to His design, and they are enjoying their new lives in God, even as singles.

The whole myth of homosexuality being “innate and immutable” has been exposed.

In all cases, “gay” no longer defines them, and there are too many of these precious men and women to ignore. In fact, I’m facing a new problem now. I’m getting flooded with requests to write endorsements or forewords to books by men and women who formerly lived as gay, bisexual, or transgender. That is who they were. It is not who they are.

Not only so, but the whole myth of homosexuality being “innate and immutable” has been exposed, with some gay activists even saying that they don’t need to use the argument anymore, acknowledging that sexuality is fluid. As a recent headline in USA Today announced, “’Born this way’? It’s way more complicated than that.’”

Regarding the notion that some people are born gay and can’t change — something that has been a central mantra of gay activism for decades — the article notes that, “many members of the LGBTQ community reject this narrative, saying it only benefits people who feel their sexuality and gender are fixed rather than fluid, and questioning why the dignity of gay people should rest on the notion that they were gay from their very first breath.”

Old myths die hard, but they do eventually die.

My ‘Ultimate Goal’ is to Incite Violence? 

As for Wayne Besen himself, he is certainly a tireless, take no prisoners campaigner, and in his final Truth Wins Out statement, he listed his many accomplishments.

As for those whose efforts he did not appreciate, he spared no venom.

Accordingly, in 2011, after I worked with a group of several hundred Christians who handed out 2,500 bottles of “Jesus Loves You” water at a gay pride event in Charlotte, North Carolina, Wayne branded me an “anti-gay monster.”

He wrote that my “game is to try inciting followers to possible violence against LGBT people, while innocently maintaining that he loves homosexuals and simply wants them to meet his militant and perverted version of God.”

A bullying spirit is on the rise today, as gay activists and their allies try to stop people with unwanted same-sex attractions from getting help.

He called me “a slick dude,” a “sick and cynical” person, someone with “a messiah complex [who] is a diabolical individual who aims to manipulate impressionable followers to launch some sort of holy war,” noting however, that, I’m “too much of a coward to start the war” myself.

He confessed, “I do strongly believe to my core that Brown’s ultimate goal is to create the conditions for a nasty physical clash.” Indeed, he wrote, “The madman fully understands that he only has to create a hostile climate to inflame the most unstable of his thugs and they will eventually provoke the type of confrontation that this pathological monster deeply desires.”

What makes this really sad is that, to my knowledge, Wayne actually believed what he wrote, meaning that he lived in a terrifying world of false reality. What an awful place that must be, where you imagine that peace-loving, followers of Jesus who would lay down their lives for the LGBT community are actually pathological monsters planning a violent assault.

Dear Wayne, Jesus Can Transform You Too!

I once interacted with Wayne on the very-liberal David Pakman show, telling him that it was his rhetoric, not mine, that was dangerous. I also asked him why it was that those who listened to my teaching most carefully showed the most love for the LGBT community. You can judge our interaction for yourself here.

The bad news is that a bullying, falsely-accusing spirit is on the rise today, as gay activists and their allies try to stop people with unwanted same-sex attractions from getting help, beginning with minors. (In other words, “Thou shalt be gay, like it or not.”)

The good news is that, in the end, truth always wins out (see 2 Corinthians 13:8), which is why an organization like Wayne Besen’s “Truth Wins Out” actually proclaimed its own demise the moment it was named.

As for Wayne himself, I appreciate his passion, I admire his focus, and despite the venom in his words, I enjoy his literary touch. And so, without the slightest animosity towards him, as a fellow Jew, I pray that he would come to know the one who is Truth Himself, Jesus our Messiah and Lord.

If He could transform me, a heterosexual sinner, he could transform anyone, including Wayne Besen. An ever-growing number of ex-gay readers say, “Amen!”

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  • Gary

    About 25 years. That’s how long I would have to watch someone who claimed to have stopped homosexual behavior and thoughts before I would consider believing their claim.

    • GPS Daddy

      Fortununtly Jesus is the judge.

      • Gary

        Yes. And he can’t be fooled.

    • Jim Walker

      About 25 years you may not be alive to see it. God is still waiting for you to embrace all the fruits of his spirit, that is :
      Love
      Joy
      Peace
      Patience
      Kindness
      Goodness
      Faithfulness
      Gentleness
      Self-control

      • Gary

        I probably won’t be here in 25 years. That means I will probably never believe anyone who says they have stopped being homosexual.

        • Jim Walker

          Start looking out for those who have changed for 24 yrs and you will need to wait 1 yr only.

          • Gary

            Not interested. I believe people don’t get involved in homosexuality unless God gives them over to it. And once God gives someone up, He doesn’t want them back.

          • Andrew Mason

            So what of Jesus’ comment about forgiving 77 times i.e. as many times as needed, or that there is only 1 (or possibly 2) unforgivable sin(s)? Given Paul said some of the early Christians were ex-homosexuals it seems like it is something people can get past.

          • Gary

            We’ll see.

          • Phil Steinacker

            You play dodgeball, I see. Too scared to grapple with that one head-on?

          • Gary

            The only way to know for certain if homosexuals are accepted by God is to see if there are any in Heaven. I have learned not to believe the claims of most heterosexual people who claim to be Christians. And given what the Bible says about homosexuals, I am more skeptical about their professions than I am the professions of heterosexuals.

          • Paul

            A scripture reference would be useful to support that belief

          • Gary

            Romans 1:24, 26

          • Phil Steinacker

            I thought that’s the foundation for your claim. And the first part of it is true, but NOT the last part: He doesn’t want them back.

            it is that last statement which is a damnable lie, and repeatedly disputed by Scripture elsewhere.

            Besides, you have zero authority to impose such an interpretation on Scripture. It is NOT the Holy Spirit Who put that on your heart, I assure you!

          • Gary

            God can save whoever he wants. And He does.

          • Phil Steinacker

            Now you have outed yourself as someone who dares speak for God, in contradiction to His promises throughout the Bible. I’d be very careful; actually, I’d be very afraid to have said what you have said here.

            He doesn’t want them back? That’s a huge heresy.

    • Paul

      Ironically that seems to put you in agreement with Wayne Besen.

  • Patmos

    Classic hypocritical and unjustified demonizing by Wayne Besen, a lashing out that is a sign of an inner pain. The guy is Jewish too? Well maybe he will live long enough for the mask over his eyes to be lifted. John 8 says that if you continue in the word of Christ you will know the truth and the truth will set you free, for even when we were dead in trespasses and sin God raised us up together and made us sit together with Christ in heavenly places. The work is already done.

  • GPS Daddy

    Rosaria Butterfield is one such example. She was instrumental in building the LGTB movement on college campuses. She went from gay activist to a home schooling mom with an Apostle Paul like zeal and ministry.

  • azsxdcf1

    Homosexuality is a behavior topic not an identity topic. It is a lesson very comparable to an alcoholic who subscribes to the anti-Christ program of AA where they are taught the mantra: “One an alcoholic, always an alcoholic… we are like people with an amputated leg which will never grow back!”

    If we (thank you, Dr Brown!) can teach and expose the Truth in the Word of God, we will learn that as children of God, we are loved by God; and then (and only then ) will our behavior follow His Truth. BUT – it will never, ever fail!

    I am an EX-addict! I have become free by the Grace of God which renewed my mind… and IS renewing my mind daily. I am positive His Grace can be applied to you -homosexual- also. Praise the Lord Jesus!

    • That’s the first time I’ve heard AA described as “anti-Christ.”

      • Phil Steinacker

        He’s not the first ignorant Christian who struggles with AA I’ve encountered. You are right; AA is not anti Christ.

  • We all have choices to make in how we conduct our personal lives. Some people are happy to be single, even sexually promiscuous. Other aspire toward monogamy and marriage. Still other prefer celibacy. None of these choices have anything to do with one’s sexual orientation, which is innate.
    Gay people no more “chose” to be homosexual than Michael Brown “chose” to be heterosexual. Can anyone stop having sex? Of course! But if a Straight person chooses to be chaste, that doesn’t make him “ex-Straight.” Similarly, if a Gay person stops having sex because of his religious convictions, it doesn’t mean he is no longer Gay, it just means he is no longer having sex.

    • Gary

      God has rules for us to follow. And we choose whether or not to follow them.

      • My POINT, Gary, is that even if a single Straight person refrains from sex, it doesn’t mean he is no longer Straight.

        • Andrew Mason

          But straight is a homosexual identity not a Christian identity. Christians are celibate or married. Ex-gay simply acknowledges that the person formerly pursued a particular sin, and that they may or may not struggle with ongoing temptation. Perhaps it should be seen as akin to ex-fornicator or ex-adulterer?

    • bfast

      I would generally agree with you. The Christian position is to abstain from sex except within the bonds of holy matrimony. (Oh, and gay matrimony is not holy from a Christian perspective.)

      I do not like the expression “I am gay” because it binds a person, it does not allow them to have a heart change. I have personally known a number of people who seem themselves as former gays, as no longer feeling homosexual desire.

      I do not hold a person in any dishonor if they recognize that “the sin that so easily besets them” is the sin of homosexuality. If God has not removed this temptation from them, though they have asked, then it is God’s will that they bear this cross. Others bear other’s crosses, and so is life.

      I believe that where Christianity errs is that we do not place sexual fulfillment in the correct Biblical context. Paul said “now remains these three, faith, hope and love. And the greatest of these is love”. Now the greek language communicates love much more effectively than english does. He spoke of agape (charity) rather than eros (sexual desire). When charity, human generosity, takes a vastly preeminent position to sexual desire, then true fulfillment can be obtained. To be fulfilled as a child of God is of much greater value than to be sexually fulfilled.

      The task for all of us is to put sexual fulfillment on the altar and exchange it for Christian fulfillment.

    • Patmos

      “sexual orientation, which is innate.”

      The prevailing evidence says that LGBT people are the way they are due to circumstance, be it molestation, neglect, or some other form of abuse during their developmental years. Overwhelming evidence says that the effects of that sort of abuse can be overcome, not matter what those effects are.

      When LGBT people propose that sexual perversion and sexual confusion are somehow who a person is, it is merely a defense mechanism set up so they do not have to face the fears and adverse emotions that come with confronting past abuse. That they have convinced much of Western culture and society to accept their lies is not only sad but flat out wrong because it perpetuates an emotional and psychological enslavement of a person.

      • John Connor

        Citation?

        • Shaquille Harvey

          Citation ?

          • John Connor

            For your prevailing evidence about LGBT people.

          • Phil Steinacker

            Stop being cowardly. Do some fearless research on your own outside the LGBT propaganda machine. Patmos is correct, and the research which was done for decades supporting his position has been buried by LGBT activists afraid of truth for the precise reasons he describes. BTW, being so well defended against truth is a profoundly common response by folks suffering from a range of emotional disturbances and mental illnesses.

            There’s many of us who’ve not only read of such things from so many sources we cannot cite them individually any longer. There are also plenty of us who’ve seen this reality close up… what lefties like to call “lived experience” (only when it suits their agenda, of course).

            Besides, demanding citation is a common behavior of trolls. It’s cheap and easy, and no substitute for real dialogue and honest discourse, you troll.

          • John Connor

            I have done my own research outside of the usual nonsense pushed by religionists. There is absolutely no research of note that confirms what you say. It’s just tripe pushed by those wanting a specific result. I find it laughable that you are so blinded by utter nonsense. In my opinion, you sir are the troll.

          • It amazing that the most vicious critics of LGBT Americans seem to claim some amazing insight into the hearts and minds of LGBT people that we ourselves apparently lack.

          • Shaquille Harvey

            What ? I asked you the question

      • How did you develop such penetrating insight into the hearts and minds of LGBT people, Mr. Patmos?

  • Zmirak

    A beautiful piece. Keep up your courage! The love of souls is part of the Cross.

  • V Pruitt

    Amen!

  • Becky

    Good article! I think it’s note-worthy that all of us are attracted to other people, and yet, we don’t ACT on it! How is it that we should celebrate and teach our children that the same-sex attraction is the exception to this societal rule? Is there no honor in restraint?

    • So if Straight couple honor their marriage vows to one another, that’s a GOOD thing, but if a Gay couple does the same, that’s a BAD thing? How, exactly, is that a good value judgment?

      • Gary

        Morality is not man made. It is God made. Only God has the authority to define good and evil for people. If God has not done that, then “morality and ethics” are just human opinion. You have no authority to force me to comply with your opinions, and I have no authority to force you to comply with mine. No God means there is no way to know if one behavior is better or worse than another.

      • Becky

        That’s not what I was trying to say at all.

        • Becky

          When one human being is attracted to another, where is the “line” that must not be crossed over in which the two human beings have a sexual union? A woman and a man? A woman and a woman? A woman and a boy? A man and a young girl? A man and a young boy? A woman and her son? A man and his daughter? Is it okay for siblings to be in a committed and loving monotonous relationship? It it okay for an elderly man and a teenage girl to be in a committed and loving relationship?? I am just bringing up the idea that people are all attracted to other people, but not all attractions should be followed up with sexual or romantic relationships. We see this as a “law of nature”- not “cause the Bible tells us so”. It’s all around us! A male horse mates with a female horse. A male shark mates with a female shark. When sharks and horses begin to mate, then we can all do whatever the hell we want.

          • DEAR BECKY:

            If you are Straight (i.e. heterosexual), it is normal and natural to date and possibly marry another compatible Straight person of the opposite sex. If you are Gay (i.e. homosexual), it is normal and natural to date and possibly marry another compatible Gay person of the same sex. If you know any Gay people, you already know this. If you DON’T know any Gay people, I wouldn’t be surprised if this makes you uncomfortable. But hey.

          • Becky

            There you go again judging. This is the 21st-century. Of course I have friends who are gay. I went to prom with my best guy friend who is gay. And we remain close friends- not that I need to justify myself to you. But you have shown your true colors. You are swine, and I will no longer throw pearls to you.

      • Becky

        You are judging me.

      • Becky

        Also- when you say “we treat others the way we’d want them to treat us”, you are right. And you are citing God.

      • Chris C.

        Chuck a “[g]ay couple” doesn’t make marriage vows of a sort affirmed by God since marriage requires differentiation of sex. Fulfilling a vow do that that which is wrong; engage in physical intimacy outside of marriage (man +woman) is not virtuous. Christ through the Holy Magisterium of the Catholic Church, has said so. He gave that authority to the Church as confirmed in scripture.

        • CHRIS: The whole “marriage vows affirmed by God” think is irrelevant. Otherwise, why would two Atheists choose to marry.

          None of the legal benefits and incentives for marriage come from the church, they come from government. And couples never needed the approval of the church, nor gods, to obtain a marriage license.

          • Chris C.

            We are both posting comments in response to an article written from a Christian perspective and posted on a Christian site. When referencing vows, as you did, the context can be reasonably assumed to be in reference to the type of vows performed in the context of a Christian rite. You also reference the bible, i.e. “…I’m sure you’ll respond ‘[b]ecause the [b]ible says so”. Hence, now to bring atheists into the mix is disingenuous and/or a diversion.

            However since you’ve opted to go there, we can leave considerations of faith, the bible, and sacraments aside. The Natural Law dictates moral considerations which refute the notion that “gay/lesbian marriage” vows are a positive good that society ought protect. Marriage is naturally ordered to the procreation and rearing of children, hence it’s a relationship that society naturally protects. Across a multitude of cultural and civilizational lines for thousands of years, this undeniable fact has needed little in the way of explanation. Until the present time, and only because assorted social engineers, political radicals, and judges functioning as demigods, have imposed gay/lesbian “marriage” by fiat, without reference to either divine or natural law. At no time in human history has there been a reason to protect the innately sterile relationship of gay/lesbian pseudo-marriage. That’s the simple truth, hard as it may be for many to accept.

          • Procreation and parenting are irrelevant, since couples do not need to marry to make babies, nor is the ability or even desire to make babies a requirement for a marriage license. Other than stipulating that the two people wishing to marry are of the age of consent and are not closely related, the government doesn’t ask too many questions. Couples do not even need to share the same household to legally marry.

            “At no time in human history has there been a reason to protect the innately sterile relationship of gay/lesbian pseudo-marriage.

            The reason it is protected NOW is because there was no Constitutional justification not to. Why should law-abiding, taxpaying Gay couples be forced to support the legal incentives to marry, while simultaneously being forbidden for taking part in those same incentives? According to the United States Government Accountability Office (GAO), there are 1,138 statutory provisions in which marital status is a factor in determining benefits, rights, and privileges. These rights were a key issue in the debate over federal recognition of same-sex marriage. And over and over again, the courts have determined that there was no constitutional justification for denying Gay couples the same legal benefits that Straight couples have always taken for granted.

            And THAT’S the simple truth, has as it may be for YOU to accept.

          • Procreation and parenting are irrelevant, since couples do not need to marry to make babies, nor is the ability or even desire to make babies a requirement for a marriage license. Other than stipulating that the two people wishing to marry are of the age of consent and are not closely related, the government doesn’t ask too many questions. Couples do not even need to share the same household to legally marry.

            “At no time in human history has there been a reason to protect the innately sterile relationship of gay/lesbian pseudo-marriage.”

            The reason it is protected NOW is because there was no Constitutional justification not to. Why should law-abiding, taxpaying Gay couples be forced to support the legal incentives to marry, while simultaneously being forbidden for taking part in those same incentives? According to the United States Government Accountability Office (GAO), there are 1,138 statutory provisions in which marital status is a factor in determining benefits, rights, and privileges. These rights were a key issue in the debate over federal recognition of same-sex marriage. And over and over again, the courts have determined that there was no constitutional justification for denying Gay couples the same legal benefits that Straight couples have always taken for granted. This may illustrate a conflict between “God’s Laws” and the Constitution, but in this country the Constitution takes precedence.

            And THAT’S the simple truth, hard as it may be for YOU to accept.

          • Chris C.

            If “procreation and parenting are irrelevant” then there is no conceivable civilizational or cultural interest in matrimony at all. If differentiation of sex is an immaterial and dispensable consideration in defining marriage then there is no use as a matter of principle in limiting marriage to a “couple” or a “pair”. That the half-blind justices of the USSC or other institutions of power, cannot or will not affirm these basic points doesn’t change the irrefutable truth of them.

            As for couples who do not procreate, there is absolutely no guarantee when a marriage is consummated that a child will result. What is guaranteed is that under no circumstances EVER, will a gay/lesbian union result in the procreation of a child.

            Finally, marriage is not about securing privileges for the two (or more, just wait until a polygamy case arises and cites Obergefell as precedent) parties to the union. Its primary purpose is to form the most basic social unit there is, for the protection of family life, and the protection of any resulting children; children who have a natural right to a natural mother and father, except where unavaildable circumstances, such as the death of one or both, make that impossible.

          • The fact that Gay couples are allowed to marry isn’t going to change anything for Straight couples. The marriage equality movement was never some sinister plot to make homosexuality compulsory for everyone. Straight couples will continue to date, get engaged, marry, and build lives and families together as they always have. None of that was ever going to change whether (or not) Gay couples were allowed to do the same.

            And IF, as I’m sure you’d agree, marriage provides a more stable home environment for the raising of children, why deny adoptive Gay parents the option to marry?

          • Chris C.

            Regrettably for some reason, I am unable to post my response to you despite two attempts. No idea why.

          • Chris C.

            Tried again. The Site won’t allow it. I guess they want this thread to end. Pity.

  • James

    These ministries, unfortunately, were often confused with conversion therapy, which is Snake Oil. Even the term “ex-gay” implies that religion or psychotherapy can rid a person of same-sex attraction, which is not true.

    LGBT activists like for people to think of them as one big monolithic group, but the reality is there are more B’s than LG and T combined. When you consider that most people dealing with same sex attractions are actually bisexual and are perfectly happy in their bodies and capable of forming stable opposite sex relationships, the need to change society to accommodate them is greatly diminished.

    While religion and psychotherapy cannot get rid of same-sex attraction, both can help a person develop a healthy sexuality, whether that is a healthy, monogamous heterosexual relationship or celibacy in the absence of such relationship. Such change is possible, but, of course, only if the person wants to change.

    • Chris C.

      I respectfully disagree that the tern “ex-gay” necessarily implies that one can or will be rid of SSA. It more likely means that one has ceased defining oneself by one’s disordered proclivities and has decided to accept the terms “male” or “female” sufficiently describe their particular human nature as far as sex is concerned.

      • Michael Brown is fond of framing the debate on his own terms. In his mind, if a person is “SSA,” he is only “Gay” if he is sexually active and marches in Pride Parades. If he renounces the LGBT community and agrees to live a chaste life, that makes him “ex-Gay.” Those of us who actually ARE Gay are left scratching our heads. All of us have choices to make in terms of how we conduct our personal lives. Some people are perfectly fine being single and even sexually promiscuous. Others (like myself) aspire to monogamy and marriage. Neither of these choices hinge on a person’s sexual orientation, which is why the term “ex-Gay” is as absurd as “ex-Straight.”

        • Chris C.

          As far as I know, Courage is the only recognized Catholic apostolate recognized by the Church for ministering to those with SSA. The are well known for their fidelity to Church teaching. And, they are quite clear that self identifying as “gay” or “lesbian” is unwise. One need not define him or her self by their disordered sexual proclivities, any more so than one inclined to marital infidelity should self identify as an “adulterer” albeit a chaste one if un-acted upon. It diminishes one’s dignity to so identify with disordered passions and serves no useful purpose. The Lord our God made us “male and female”. There is no third option.

          • You’re confusing gender with sexual orientation, Chris.

          • Chris C.

            Chuck, I didn’t get into that, only addressed the matter of self identification. Those in the faithful apostolate Courage, regardless of any continuing inclination, do not identify as gay or lesbian. Such terms do not define who they are and such a label to them, is regarded as self limiting.

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