Who’s Really Happy? Who’s Really Sad? Who’s Really ‘The Guy’?
President Donald J. Trump presented his farewell address to the nation Tuesday afternoon.
An emotional President-elect Joe Biden sniffled and slurred his farewell to his home state of Delaware.
By noon tomorrow, Donald Trump will be at Mar-a-Lago with his gorgeous and amazing wife, set to return to his enviable life building resorts on the most beautiful spots on the planet.
By noon tomorrow, Joe Biden will be at the U.S. Capitol with a sea of National Guard in front of him and barely a supporter in sight, with Iran and China and Russia and North Korea set to inflame the most dangerous parts of the planet.
By tomorrow afternoon, Trump will be on the back nine at Dural.
By tomorrow afternoon, Biden will be feeling the knives in his back from those thirsting for control of the West Wing.
Tell me, who really won? Would you blame Joe if he finally did push for a forensic audit of the election? Would you blame Trump if he laughed his face off all the way to Florida?
Biden Ain’t the Only One Weepy
Joe Biden isn’t the only one weepy today. Check out the writers’ rooms of the late night comedy shows. Sure, their smug bosses like Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Kimmel are perfectly happy their non-stop efforts to tear down Trump for four years had some effect. Their banning of him from late night appearances played oh so well with their cancel culture buddies, who would have hung them from the Hollywood sign had they dared make Trump a guest. The same Donald Trump who was such a fixture on late night TV that he actually hosted Saturday Night Live twice.
But their writers are not nearly as jolly at the installation of Joe Biden. They know that starting tomorrow they actually have to work for a living.
As a former Hollywood topical humor writer, I guarantee Donald Trump has been a gift from God to those who have to write jokes every day. Coming up with jokes isn’t necessarily the hard part of the job. The hard part is the set up. The little news item that can be turned into a joke.
Thanks to Trump’s Twitter feed, you had numerous set-ups set up to go before you finished breakfast. And once Trump got rolling during the day, who knows how many perfect set ups the man would serve up. You’d have half your number of requisite jokes done by lunch. Trump made you look like a comedy genius when you were at best a glorified stenographer.
What are they getting with Biden? Sure. You can make jokes about his mental lapses and feebleness. The Grim Reaper is practically a cabinet member. But how quickly does this grow old? How cruel does it become given his clear infirmity? How unnerving is it to joke when his shaky hand is on the nuclear trigger? “Sure it’s funny, until someone loses a city.”
Beyond that, while Trump was a nearly 24/7 news-generating machine, Biden is only capable of so much action in a given day. The comedy beast must be fed at regular intervals. So those sad comedy writers will have to break a sweat. They’ll have to leave the White House watch to hunt and gather for food to feed the beast.
They Won’t Quit Trump
Yes, propagandists like CNN’s Jake Tapper will be raising toasts with their collaborators like James Clapper at Trump’s departure. Overthrow Mission Accomplished. But one suspects the news rooms around America will soon suffer post-Trump depression. What in the world are they going to do? Go back to spending days obsessing over a disappeared plane? Go back to dry analysis by inside the beltway bores of inside the beltway shenanigans that don’t matter even to people living inside the beltway? Heaven forbid, will they be forced to leave the comfy confines to cover real news that matters to real people?
No more spending hours a day spend fussing over something Trump did or said that day. That usually ends up being proven false within a day, but that’s not their problem.
Then again, perhaps I’m being naïve. Of course, they’re still going to cover Trump. Unless they go to Betty Ford to deal with their addiction, they will still have to get their Trump fix. They’ll still share their daily Trump talking points like the junkies sharing dirty needles.
They’ll be happy for Biden to put a lid on his day at 10 a.m. as long as Trump does something they can feign outrage over. “Trump visits his resort in Scotland! How many children could be fed with the money spent for Secret Service?!” “Girl breaks arm in fall at Trump run ice-rink. Thank God for Obamacare!” “Leftist radicals burn leftist businesses in leftist run city in leftist run state. 10 Reasons It’s Trump’s Fault!”
Old Hat v. The Guy
For Donald Trump, it’ll be old hat. He’s been subject to constant media attention since the Carter Administration.
For Joe Biden, he’ll be denied the one thing he’s craved since he first ran for office: To be seen as The Guy.
Starting tomorrow, Joe Biden will be the most powerful man in the world. And he’ll still be playing second fiddle.
Love him or hate him, Trump will still be The Guy. And that’s no joke.