A typical reaction, this from guy named Matt Stoller, a Fellow at the Open Markets Program at New America: “I’ve honestly been so terrified by climate change for years that I sort of can’t believe climate isn’t in all caps all the time everywhere.”

The worst part is that this Twitter-verified Stoller seems to believe what he’s saying. Sad.

“It’s been clear that climate change will kill billions,” he tweeted, “it’s been clear for years, Paris wouldn’t have stopped it, but this is still bad.”

Sure, global warming hasn’t killed anybody yet, but it will kill billions. Sheesh. Now I ask you: How do we deal with folks who have slipped so far down the propaganda hole?

My question is in earnest. Unlike Stoller, I am an actual climate scientist. But I cannot envision any rational argument or set of facts which would calm this overly nervous man down. If I told him the truth about global warming, about how little scientists actually know about what drives climate change, Stoller might screech “Denier!” at me. Or he might accuse me of being part of a conspiracy.

Led by Oil companies, of course. Ever notice how the Stollers among us are like the guy in the bar who is convinced energy companies are keeping the secret of water-driven engines from us so that the oil companies can maintain their rich monopoly?

Let’s Panic!

Whatever mental malady grips Stoller, it’s widespread among the perpetually “outraged.” As I write, the entire Huffington Post site is emblazoned with the words “Trump to Planet: Drop Dead.” Billionaire Tom Steyer, who’d love it if the government bought some of the green he was selling, said Trump’s Paris covfefe was a “traitorous act of war.”

Act of war?

How do you reason with that? Answer: You cannot.

As frenetic and uninformed-by-science as these (common) views are, they at least make sense. If you believe the world is “literally” doomed unless we confiscate people’s earnings and hand them over to an unaccountable global organization, then an unhinged spittle-flecked tirade is the way to go.

Trump Refuses Pied Piper Role

But then how do we explain the attitudes of people like failed presidential candidate Mitt Romney?

He tweeted, “Affirmation of the #ParisAgreement is not only about the climate: It is also about America remaining the global leader.”

This was echoed by “conservative” (her word) Washington Post writer Jennifer Rubin, who wrote of the move, “BAD: US again ceding internatl leadership, kowtow to know-nothings”

So we needed to accept a horrible deal just to show everybody who’s boss?

Yet don’t forget Paris would have ceded power to some agency to be created by the United Nations. This agency would have monitored our thermometers and nagged us when the mercury wandered out of certain arbitrary zones. And don’t forget the money. There would have been lots and lots of it, all sucked from your pocket and trucked over to First Avenue in Manhattan.

This would have demonstrated American “leadership”?

Sad Day For Bureaucrats

Probably speaking from his garage, in which he might have been searching for his missing college transcripts, that guy who used to be President was none too happy that his precious was abandoned by The Donald. He said, “The nations that remain in the Paris Agreement will be the nations that reap the benefits in jobs and industries created.”

They sure will. Bureaucrats, functionaries, regulators, and leeches of various kinds who would have suckled on the Washington teat will now have to join the immigrants descending on countries like France to find employment. Meanwhile, if there are any real benefits from “alternative” energy sources or transportation, they will succeed in spite of government “assistance,” not because of it.

The amusing part of this story, which originates in the New York Times, is this line: “The president’s decision was a victory for Stephen K. Bannon, his chief strategist,”

Well, and this is true. But wasn’t that paper, and every other mainstream organ, assuring us just a few weeks back that Bannon was being booted? I guess the “sources” on which these media mavens lean are not as reliable as promised.

More proof Trump did the right thing. The whiny Elon Musk, boss of car company Tesla, which has received billions and billions of government subsidies, said he’d no longer be Trump’s friend if Trump exited Paris.

What is this, high school?

Never Having To Say You’re Sorry

If you’re in the least inclined to worry about global warming, here’s a fun prediction from 1990. Made by serial error-maker Paul Ehrlich. “As global temperatures rise … we’ll be facing a sea-level rise. …You could tie your boat to the Washington Monument.”

Failing to learn from history, the Washingtonian, twenty-seven years later, makes the same prediction. Our great capitol will soon be submerged.

So if Trump was wrong about leaving Paris, we still have something to look forward to.