I didn’t catch James Comey’s interview with George Stephanopoulos live last night. I preferred working on my taxes. 

But I’ve caught up now, and you know what the night’s most amazing bombshell was? Reba McEntire can still fit splendidly in the same gown she wore 25 years ago on the ACMs. And Carrie Underwood did a much better job than Comey in rehabbing herself after a very terrible fall. 

Even Maggie Haberman of The New York Times thought the interview was “a much lower-grade burn than I thought it would be” with nothing surprising.  (You can read the full transcript here.)

Still, 9.7 million tuned in for the interview, which is not bad considering it was up against the Academy of Country Music Awards. On the other hand, it was still less than what Stormy Daniels drew with her 60 Minutes interview. (Ironically, both are now famous for doing the same thing to Trump.)

Fully unpacking the Comey interview would take longer than unpacking the costumes from a production of Les Miserables. (In fact, can’t you hear Comey singing “On My Own?”) But here are some early observations.

“Morally Unfit”

The major headline, at least in the media and Twitter world, is Comey declaring that Trump is “morally unfit” to be President. Of course that’s what he’s going to say. He’s got four daughters and a wife who are ardent Hillary supporters. Comey, by his own admission, couldn’t even stand up to Loretta Lynch. You think he’s going to withstand their onslaught? 

Seriously, Comey made pretty clear that his contempt for Trump — and his sense of moral superiority — predates the election. He also told President Obama that he dreaded the notion of working for Trump. This revelation poses a problem for Comey. The fate of Trump’s opponent and the Trump investigation were in his hands. Yet he wants to convince us he did not tip the scales of justice away from the man he says is “morally unfit.”

The task is especially hard when he gave evidence in the interview that he did give Lady Justice a bit of a shove.

Doesn’t Know if Steele Dossier is a “Credible Document”

In a segment conveniently cut out of ABC’s broadcast, Comey was asked if he thought the Steele Dossier was a “credible document.” Comey replied, “The answer is, I don’t know.”

Daily Caller investigative reporter Chuck Ross explains the significance of that confession. Comey signed off on the first three FISA warrants allowing the FBI to conduct surveillance on Carter Page. A level of surveillance that would allow the FBI to scoop up information on anyone connected to Page. Namely, anyone in the Trump campaign. Allowing such a staggering use of federal power against political opponents of the Obama administration based on a document he didn’t even know was credible is incredible. 

But when the target is someone you know is “morally unfit” it’s perfectly fine to rely on the “credible” former British agent, even if he is in the pay of the target’s opponent. 

The Lines are Being Drawn

Comey said Trump privately expressing hope he’d go easy on Michael Flynn is evidence of obstruction of justice. That he got a “La Costra Nostra” vibe from the President. Colorful, but not as interesting as what he says about Obama and Lynch both in the interview and in his book. 

Comey states that President Obama’s public statements and Loretta Lynch’s actions “jeopardized” the Clinton investigations. Lynch’s “strange” activities made him “uncomfortable.” He expressed to Stephanopoulos the wish he had stepped up more.

(Lynch blasted Comey in a statement Sunday. “If he had any concerns regarding the email investigation, classified or not, he had ample opportunities to raise them with me both privately and in meetings. He never did.”)

Some context. On Friday, the DOJ Inspector General report on Andrew McCabe’s leaking came out. According to the report, McCabe says Lynch’s DOJ pressured the FBI to halt its investigation into the Clinton Foundation. 

Taken together, we’ve got the makings of a gang war. To borrow Comey’s mob metaphor, The Comey-McCabe FBI crime family is ratting on the Obama/Lynch DOJ crime family.

Is Comey Really That Dense?!

During the interview, Comey said that “hundreds of thousands” of Hillary Clinton’s emails were found on Anthony Weiner’s computer. (That’s news to Judicial Watch. State and FBI told them there were only 72,000 emails.) Comey’s decision to reopen the investigation is for another story. As is the astounding revelation in the IG report on McCabe that seems to support the pre-election allegation that the NYPD found a trove of evidence on the computer implicating Hillary and her inner circle in criminal activity. 

However, what caught my eye was this exchange about the discovery of the emails:

COMEY: Somebody earlier in October, in the beginning of October sometime, mentioned to me that there may be a connection between emails found on Anthony Weiner’s laptop and the Clinton email investigation. I don’t remember.

GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS: Was this Andrew McCabe?

JAMES COMEY: I think it was Andy McCabe, but I’m not certain. I didn’t store that in any prominent place in my brain ’cause how could that possibly be true?

GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS: But how could that not be something you remember?

JAMES COMEY: That’s a great question. I think the answer is because how could that possibly be true? How could there be a connection between Anthony Weiner’s laptop and Hillary Clinton’s emails? And so I think it was sort of a passing comment to me, and I’m sure I stored it away thinking, “Okay, well, that doesn’t make any sense, but I’m sure they’ll tell me if it does.” 

Is James Comey really saying he had no idea how Anthony Weiner’s laptop could be connected to Hillary Clinton’s emails? How Huma Abedin’s boss’s emails could end up on Huma Abedin’s husband’s laptop?!

The top dog at the Federal Bureau of Investigation missed that?  When it comes to detective work this guy makes Shaggy from Scooby Doo look like Sherlock Holmes. 

Trump Doesn’t Laugh

One thing Comey did investigate with more thoroughness than he did the IRS Tea Party scandal: Trump’s lack of laughter.

Seems after meeting with Trump and failing to leave him in stitches, Comey realized “I’ve never seen him laugh. Not in public, not in private.” The thought stayed with him. And after getting canned, “I went and tried to find examples of videos where he’s laughing and I could only find that really wasn’t a genuine laugh.” 

Who has time to laugh when you’re plotting to become a despot, right? Or partnering with Putin? Or planning to party down with hookers and porn stars? 

Still, digging through old Trump videos? Isn’t that a bit like stalking an ex on social media? 

But to Comey’s point: Trump made hundreds of millions of dollars sitting behind a desk, saying “You’re fired.” He laughed all the way to the bank.

Who knows? Maybe Comey and Trump can bury the hatchet and work together on a new MAGA project: Make America Giggle Again. 

Hands, Hair, Height and Ties

Comey spent a strange amount of time focusing on Trump’s hands, hair and height. He analyzed the color of Trump’s face like it was a crime scene. At one point Comey even dissed Trump’s choice of tie length. (Mocking a man who had his own successful brand of ties? Don’t you remember all the Macy’s ads?) 

Critics across the spectrum have been pounding on Comey for being so petty. 

I beg to differ. 

Clearly they have James Comey pegged wrong. I’ve figured it out. He’s not hoping to be a host on MSNBC. He’s trying to be the next host of Fashion Police.

 

Al Perrotta is the Managing Editor of The Stream, and co-author with John Zmirak of the upcoming book The Politically Incorrect Guide to Immigration. It’s out May 21 from Regnery, and available for pre-order today. As in why wait another moment?