15 Conspiracy Theories for Why Hillary’s September Schedule … is Blank

By Al Perrotta Published on August 30, 2016

The folks over at The Last Refuge blog noticed something peculiar the other day: According to her schedule, Hillary Clinton has no campaign events on the calendar between now and the first presidential debate September 26 at Hofstra University. See for yourself.

If you check the website under “Hillary Clinton’s Events” you find this list for September:
Hillary Schedule Without Hillary -
However, when you put in Hillary Clinton’s name in the filter of people who will actually be at those events, you get this:
Hillary Schedule
Now, since Hillary Clinton has never struck anyone as the “Freebird, Go With The Wind, Schedules are for Repressed Spirits” type, we have to wonder what she’s up to … or not up to, as the case may be.

Naturally, given the illness rumors swirling around Hillary, which The Stream debated a few weeks back, it’s tempting to explain her absence from the campaign trail as evidence her health is too fragile for the rigors of a presidential contest. However, as both CNN and MSNBC have explained, questioning the potential commander-in-chief’s health and fitness is “sexist.”

So let’s consider some other possibilities.

15 Possible Reasons Hillary has Cleared Her September Schedule

15. Absence Makes the Voter Grow Fonder: Traditionally, Hillary Clinton polls better when nobody actually sees or listens to her. In other words, “generic Democratic candidate” does better than living-breathing-sounds-like-the-adults-in-Peanuts Hillary.

14. Running Out the Clock: Politico reported on this strategy last week. The idea is to simply ignore the email and Clinton Foundation scandals and see “a shrinking calendar as her friend.” That’s one reason you’re more likely to find Colin Kaepernick at a policeman’s ball than Hillary Clinton at a press conference.

13. The Known Commodity: Nothing Hillary can say or do will change people’s opinions of her, so why spend the steamy last weeks of summer huffing and puffing around the country?

12. It’s All About Trump Anyway: Either America buys a ticket for the roller coaster and buckles up, or it says “No Way, Jose” and ducks into the safety of the familiar ol’ Hillary-go-round.

11. It’s Her Job By Rights: Hillary’s been busting her buns to become president since her graduation speech at Wellesley. Nearly half a century of sweat and she’s supposed to compete head-to-head with a guy who suddenly wants the gig because he’s bored sitting in a fake TV boardroom?

10. Going Old School: Hillary’s returning to the days when it was thought unseemly for a presidential candidate to actually campaign for themselves.

9. Campaign Fundraising: She needs to raise hundreds of millions of dollars so she can spend hundreds of millions of dollars to convince Americans she’ll be more wise with their money than Trump. Besides that, hanging with Cher and Justin Timberlake is way more fun than mingling with the little people.

8. Double Downward Dog: Rebuilding all those yoga routines her people deleted from her server is no easy task.

7. Waiting for Assange: Hillary doesn’t want to be anywhere near a camera when the next WikiLeaks stash drops.

6. The Worker Deserves Her Wages: Normally, Hillary bags up to $250,000 a speech, and now she’s just supposed to keep doing it for free?!

5. Supergirl on CW: Who has time for campaigning when you’ve got the new fall TV season to tend to? Or perhaps she’s weighing replacing Thomas Gibson on Criminal Minds. 

4. The Globalist Fix: Hillary doesn’t want to bother going through the motions. After all, her 2016 election was guaranteed on June 5, 2008 during a secret Bilderberg meeting with Obama in Northern Virginia. Sure, it’s crazy, but not much crazier than saying a video nobody saw inspired people thousands of miles away to carry out a planned, coordinated attack on our Benghazi consulate on what happened to be the anniversary of 9/11. And far less crazy than thinking a non-secured unclassified server could secure classified secrets.

3. Babysitter: Somebody has to look after the grandkids while Chelsea does the real family business of raising millions for the Clinton Foundation. It’s not like she’s going to hire Anthony Wiener to do it. Which gets to …

2. A Friend in Need: Pal Huma Abedin needs her right now more than the campaign trail does.

And… the number 1 one reason why Clinton may be taking a break:

1. Donald Trump — The Clubber Lange of Debaters: You’re not going to beat him unless you lock yourself away with Apollo Creed and regain the “Eye of the Tiger.” (Yes, I did a Rocky marathon while my wife was away last week.)

All fun and fanciful analysis aside, there could be a much simpler reason Hillary Clinton has no campaign events scheduled between now and the first debate September 26. The polling is so fluid, the election map so upended, the old rules so out the window, her able campaign strategists can’t know where her time would be best served more than a couple of days in advance.

And with polls showing a noticeable drop for Hillary Clinton in recent days, the day-to-day chess match with the Trump campaign will be growing even more crucial. So have no fear. Hillary likely will be coming soon to a town near you … assuming you live in a swing state.

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