That look in the mirror tells the story of shame, low self-esteem and pain. The mascara and foundation may hide some of it, but you can’t hide the story your eyes tell. Each time it happens, you wonder how much more you can take. You want to believe this is the last time, but you do not see any end in sight. Every time it happens, a piece of you falls away. You try to gather those pieces, but they are so scattered and broken that you can’t put them back together. When is enough actually enough? Will there ever be a time you can find rest and peace? You are worth so much more than to what someone has tried to reduce you. 

Shift Your Focus

It is not your fault that someone else can’t control their anger or doesn’t see your value. Their words may have scarred you, but they threw those words at you to hide their own dissatisfaction with their life. They speak negatively to you because that is the only way they can feel good about themselves. It may be difficult, but you must shift your focus from the words they speak to what you believe about yourself. 

You Were Not Meant to be a Doormat

The devil has come to steal your worth and confidence (John 10:10). The enemy will use anyone or anything to make you feel less than who you are. Abuse in any form is a way to steal your identity. God did not make you be anyone’s punching bag or their means to release their frustration. God made you beautiful and wonderful (Psalm 139:14). Every detail about you was made in the image of a mighty God (Gen. 1:27). Before you were formed in your mother’s womb, God gave you a purpose for being (Jeremiah 1:5). He has a beautiful plan already laid out for you. Our loving God would not have someone manipulate you to believe that you were made to be someone’s doormat.

You may have many reasons that you choose to hang in there. Some people hope that circumstances will change. Others believe the apologies that continue to come each time, believing it will not reoccur. Some women just don’t have another place to go or the means to get there, so they endure absolute anguish with the hope that it will be better soon. Whatever the reason you have endured it this long, please stop a minute and think about who you are now and who you really want to be. What do you really want for your life? You were made for so much more. You were made to shine and to excel.

You were made to achieve and be successful. Jesus came that you might have life and have it abundantly (John 10:10). He never meant for you to suffer in pain because of someone else. He paid the price for all of us already. If they promise to change, then let them go change. Separate from them while they get it together and see what your life can be. You do not have to remain with them while they fix their own issues. Find a safe place where you can sleep in peace at night. Find a place of solace and comfort. Find a place where you can regroup and allow God to put all those scattered pieces back together. 

Jesus is a Master a Rebuilding Our Lives

Some pieces of yourself may seem like they are long gone and irreparable. Don’t worry. Jesus knows where every piece is. He is a Master at rebuilding our lives. He knows how to restore and give new strength and hope. He just needs you to take the first step to trust Him! It is not easy to break bad habits and strong mindsets. However, Jesus is able to straighten out those crooked places because He is bigger than any problem we have. 

You Can be Free From the Bondage Set by Others

You are worth more than you know. Jesus gave His life so that you could have life. He invested time in this world to let us know that freedom is achievable (John 8:36). You can be free from this bondage set by others. You are important to God and you are truly loved. It may be hard, but you can make it out of this. You can do this, but it starts with faith in God. He has your path to freedom set out before you and He will reveal that path to you, step by step.

Janet Boynes founded Janet Boynes Ministries in Maple Grove, Minnesota, in 2006. She authored the books Called Out: A Former Lesbian’s Discovery of Freedom, God & Sexuality, and her latest: God & The LGBT Community. Janet is an ordained minister under the Assemblies of God and travels the U.S. and overseas sharing a message of redemption and hope through the power of Jesus Christ.