By Michael Brown Published on May 7, 2018

How would you answer this question? Which group is the smallest, most rejected minority in our country?

African Americans have certainly suffered terribly throughout our history. But they are not the smallest minority today, since they make up roughly 12 percent of the population. And, despite ongoing issues they face, African Americans are certainly not the most rejected.

Perhaps it is Native Americans? They make up less than 1 percent of our population, so they are certainly very small. And their suffering over the centuries has been intense, with their communities facing still facing severe hardship.

But they are neglected more than rejected. To most of our country, Native Americans are, sadly, out of sight and out of mind. And there is another, suffering minority that is smaller still.

What about the LGBT community? They too are quite small (perhaps equaling 3 percent of our population; estimates vary). And to this day, many who identify as LGBT suffer hatred and discrimination.

But the truth be told, LGBTs are more celebrated than denigrated, more protected than rejected, more powerful than powerless.

Ironically, the group that can lay claim to being the smallest and most rejected minority in America today once was part of the LGBT community. They once identified as gay or lesbian or bisexual or transgender, but they no longer do. Today, they are “ex-gay” or “ex-trans.”

“Ex-Gay” and “Ex-Trans”

Their numbers are very small, since they came out of a small community to start with. And it is only a small percentage of that small group who make a break with the rest of the LGBT community.

Most of them make that break because of their religious faith, often newly found. Others make the break simply because they no longer want to identify as gay or bi- or trans. But for making that break, they pay a steep price.

They are mocked and maligned and bullied by the community they once called home.

They are told they do not exist. They are assured they will fail. Their motives are questioned. They are called liars and mercenaries. They are even mocked for being so small in number (even if they number in the thousands or tens of thousands, that represents the tiniest slice of the population).

All this simply because they want to lead a new life, because they do not embrace their same-sex attractions (or, their gender confusion.)

There are plenty of former alcoholics who fell off the wagon for a season, only to get back on track. Do we ridicule them or empathize with them and show them compassion? Many of them identify as recovering alcoholics. Why can’t someone identify as a recovering homosexual?

Shouldn’t they be applauded for their courage? Shouldn’t they be lauded for doing what they feel is right?

Really now, what can possibly be wrong with a man wanting to be married to a woman, having natural children of his own? Why on earth should he be penalized for that?

What can possibly be wrong with a woman wanting to be at home in her own body? Why on earth should she be criticized for that?

Attacked for Ongoing Struggles

And why is it that we put ex-gays and ex-trans individuals under such intense pressure? If they have one slip-up, they’re called phonies. If they still struggle with attractions or gender confusion, they are told they haven’t changed. But why?

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There are plenty of former alcoholics who fell off the wagon for a season, only to get back on track. Do we ridicule them or empathize with them and show them compassion? Many of them identify as recovering alcoholics. Why can’t someone identify as a recovering homosexual?

There are plenty of former porn addicts who still struggle with temptation. Do we tell them they will never be free, or do we encourage them to resist their temptations?

But when it comes to someone being ex-gay, things are very different. If you still struggle with temptation, even if you don’t yield to it, you’re told you’re living in denial. If you mess up once, you’re discouraged from trying again. Why the double standard?

Diversity

I personally know ex-gays who have experienced a complete and total change. They have become heterosexual and have been happily married for many years.

I know others who have seen a marked decrease in same-sex attractions along with an increase in opposite-sex attractions. Some of them are in successful heterosexual relationships.

I know others who remain same-sex attracted but who say no to those attractions. They are happy to be celibate, finding joy and purpose and satisfaction in life without being in a sexual or romantic relationship.

And I know others who tried to come out of homosexual practice, only to fall back and embrace their homosexuality. But their very real failures and struggles do not negate the success enjoyed by the others.

Why, then, can’t the LGBT community accept it when someone says, “I was once out and proud as a gay person; now I’m out and proud as an ex-gay person”? Why, instead, do LGBT’s commonly mock and attack and ridicule those who identify as ex-gay (or, ex-trans)?

Why They’re Attacked

The reason is simple: If it is possible for someone to change from gay to straight, either through the gospel or through counseling (or both), then the whole “innate and immutable” argument goes out the window. (The same can be said for someone who is ex-trans.)

In other words, one of the foundations of LGBT is activism is, “We’re born this way and we can’t change. Gay is the new black. (Or, trans is the new black.) This is who we are. Our sexual identity is as innate and immutable as our skin color.”

That’s why those who say, “I used to be gay, but I’m free today” must be maligned. Their existence must be denied. Their ultimate failure must be assured.

If change is possible – again, through divine intervention or through counseling or both – then the whole push for “LGBT rights” can be questioned.

I’m aware, of course, that for many who identify as LGBT, this is an intensely personal issue. They tried to change and could not, leading to depression and even attempts at suicide. They had bad experiences with counseling. They were rejected by their churches or families. And they finally found relief when they embraced their gay (or trans) identity.

The moment they hear of someone who claims to be “ex-gay” or “ex-trans,” those old wounds are opened and they feel personally attacked.

Do Unto Others

To such people I would say this: Just as you must live your own life before God, allow others to do the same. Just as you have the right to self-determination, allow that to others as well. And just as you despise bullying, don’t bully others.

This past weekend, a small group of ex-LGBT’s held a rally in Washington, DC, called the “Freedom March.” Although I have met many such people around the country, I expected that the turnout would be tiny. And it was.

That’s because the great majority of those who came out of homosexual practice and transgender identification simply want to live their lives. They are not known or celebrated. They are on no one’s payroll. They are changed, and they are the better for it.

But I do know that many of them feel alone and misunderstood. That’s why one ex-gay counselor, Chris Doyle, founded Voice for the Voiceless. Its mission is “to defend the rights of former homosexuals, individuals with unwanted same-sex attraction, and their families.”

It is a mission all of us should support, especially those of us in the faith community. If anyone should be encouraged and embraced, it is these precious men and women, some of whom are still in the healing process.

And this is in keeping with the New Testament writings, which say plainly that, just as some of us once engaged in sexual immorality or adultery or theft or lying or greed or idolatry or homosexual practice, we do so no longer. If the Son of God sets us free, we are free indeed. (See John 8:31-36; 1 Corinthians 6:9-11. For our 6-minute, animated video, go here.)

So, I say to the ex-gay, ex-trans community, you are not alone. We are standing together with you. More importantly, the Lord is standing with you. Be strong in Him.

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  • Tim Pan

    If these people are redeems then all they need to know is that God loves them. What else really matters?

    • Bryan

      Um, Tim do you have friends or a wife, kids, etc.? If so, you have some personal relationship besides God and while I’m sure if all that was taken from you, you’d be like Job and still praise God, we were still made for relationship both with God and man. So it still matters having friends and family.

      • Tim Pan

        Yes and I lost them all. So I know the pain -God how I know the pain!

        “One day Jesus invited a man to follow Him and become His disciple—but
        the man refused. He said he would follow Jesus later, but first he
        wanted to go bury his father. Jesus responded, “Follow me, and let the
        dead bury their own dead” (Matthew 8:22).

        • Bryan

          I’m sorry for your loss.

          • Tim Pan

            God does what God does. Nevertheless I am entitled to comment on an issue like this because I have been there , I still am. The Lord told me Steve, they are my children, I will love them. You come with me. And I came…

    • G Hazel

      rejection from people you still care about is painful, even when you know God loves you.

      • Tim Pan

        ” One day Jesus invited a man to follow Him and become His disciple—but
        the man refused. He said he would follow Jesus later, but first he
        wanted to go bury his father. Jesus responded, “Follow me, and let the
        dead bury their own dead” (Matthew 8:22).

  • Mr Cleats

    The minority most in need of protection is the individual. Collectivists just can’t handle that.

  • Yossi

    An observation I’ve made: “Hell hath no fury like a gay advocate’s reaction to an ex-gay.” To me, their rage against and denigration of ex-gays is a manifestation of their own form of “homophobia” — that their own same-sex attraction may not be innate and unchangeable, but the result of something that went wrong with their own psycho-sexual development.

  • Patmos

    Sort of reminds me of: “They will hate you without cause.”

    As well as: “Every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved.”

  • JP

    More ammo to use against the lbgt propaganda machine. The arguments against homosexuality just keep getting better day by day. Wonder if it will be enough to wake people up.

  • JimH69

    Know you are loved in many parts of the “straight” community. We can empathize but only image what you have gone through. We know your sins are no better or worse then our own.

    Luke 15:20 “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him”

  • Rahab2011

    It’s difficult, even hard, to admit you were wrong and walk away from an entire lifestyle, whatever that lifestyle was. I admire those who can do so–especially in the face of such hatred.

  • Jim Walker

    I’d say leave the LGBT community who rejects you and stay with the normal 97% of the population.

  • Trilemma

    If it can be argued that an ex-Christian was never a true Christian to begin with then it could be argued that an ex-gay was never a true gay to begin with.

    Whether homosexuality is 100% innate or 100% choice or something in between, their rights should be the same regardless. Just because change is possible for some doesn’t mean they should all lose their rights.

    • Andrew Mason

      There’s debate over whether ex-Christians were ever true Christians to begin with. Some give clear reason to doubt their genuineness, others appear to have been genuine but walked away because of their desire to embrace rebellion, or conversion to homosexuality.

      I’m not quite sure what the relevance of homosexuality being innate or choice is. The Biblical position is that God’s will is for people to leave the homosexual lifestyle. That mere claim is enough to set homofascists frothing and yet even as they demand other support the notion of a homosexual orientation they refuse to tolerate the notion of a Christian or religious orientation. It’s all a matter of hierarchy and who has the power and right to dictate what.

      • Trilemma

        When it comes to legal rights, whether homosexuality is innate or choice should not be relevant. I do not see the Bible having a position on same sex relationships or marriage. I agree that there seems to be a waning tolerance of religious orientation and the power hierarchy is changing against traditional Christianity.

    • GPS Daddy

      There is no ontological “right” for a person to be recognized as the opposite sex to which they are born with in society.

      Your committing the logical error of equivocation by asserting that because some argue that a person was never a Christian if they later reject Christ then an ex-gay was never truly gay. Way two different issues. Not even in the ballpark of each other.

      The error of the LGTB movement is that they have hijacked the plight of the black people in our culture to further they own selfish agendas.

      • Trilemma

        There is no ontological “right” for a person to be recognized as a Christian as opposed to the atheism they were born with in society.

        Does the fact there are people who are ex-gay or ex-trans prove that homosexuality or transgenderism is a lie?

        • GPS Daddy

          >>Does the fact there are people who are ex-gay or ex-trans prove that homosexuality or transgenderism is a lie

          It proves that is can be changed. It also proves that the LGTB movement’s hijacking of the black’s plight in our culture is wrong. Blacks cannot change their skin color… period.

          >>There is no ontological “right” for a person to be recognized as a Christian as opposed to the atheism they were born with in society.

          I have never head of someone claiming they have a right to be recognized as a Christian. But, again Trilemma, your committing the logical error of equivocation. Being a Christian is not the same as being black, Caucasian, or Hispanic, etc.. Being a Christian is a decision. These others are not decisions.

          It does not follow that because LGTB people claim that its not a decision on their part then its the same… its not because there is verifiable evidence that a black is black. Since there are former gays then being gay can be changed. So its not the same as being black, Caucasian, or Hispanic.

          • bchristian85

            >>It proves that is can be changed. It also proves that the LGTB
            movement’s hijacking of the black’s plight in our culture is wrong.
            Blacks cannot change their skin color… period.

            Depends on what you mean by “changed.” After spending almost a decade as ex-gay and meeting countless people who also struggle with SSA, sexual orientation rarely if ever changes. Most people formerly in the lifestyle will admit to still struggling with same-sex attraction. They simply commit to celibacy or in some cases, get married to somebody of the opposite sex. They suppress it and conform to societal norms as much as possible. It’s basically equivalent to going back in the closet and living a closeted life for either religious or societal reasons. That is their right. However, it’s disingenuous to say that homosexuality (as an orientation) is a choice because even among ex-gays, it’s something they deal with their entire lives. What is a choice is whether or not to act out sexually and straight people have that same choice as well. As long as it’s consenting adults the government should have no say there.

          • GPS Daddy

            >>After spending almost a decade as ex-gay and meeting countless people who also struggle with SSA, sexual orientation rarely if ever changes

            You do not know this, bchristian85. You do not know everyone who has been gay and has changed. There are those who have changed and are no longer influenced by those kind of feelings or desires. I recommend you look into Dr. Leaf at deleaf(dot)com.

            The big problem with the LGTB movement in this is that the LGTB movement view of life is body over mind. But the fact is we are to be the masters of our bodies. If you tell yourself that your the slave to your body then you will be the slave to your body. You have made that decision.

          • Trilemma

            Most Christians want to be legally recognized as Christian.

            The consensus of the medical profession is that, “there is no valid scientific evidence that sexual orientation can be changed.”

            Those who claim to be ex-gay do not prove that it can be changed. They may not have been truly gay to begin with. They may be bisexual. Or they may be simply forcing themselves to live contrary to their innate nature.

            If homosexuality is purely a choice as you claim, then it’s just like Christianity. If homosexuality is purely a choice, those who make that “choice” should still be legally protected against discrimination.

          • GPS Daddy

            >>Most Christians want to be legally recognized as Christian

            What? I have never head this until now. I know of no Christian who would state it in this way. Your really showing your willingness to twist words to suit your argument.

            >>The consensus of the medical profession is that, “there is no valid scientific evidence that sexual orientation can be changed.”

            Right. Again, the first time I have ever head anyone claim this.

            >>Those who claim to be ex-gay do not prove that it can be changed. They may not have been truly gay to begin with.

            Now your showing your double standard here. You want to be taken at your word that homosexuality or transgenderism is not a choice and cannot be changed. But as soon as your confronted with an opposing view then you claim that “They may not have been truly gay to begin with”.

            >>If homosexuality is purely a choice as you claim, then it’s just like Christianity

            Homosexuality is not a religion… unless your making that claim. Are you?

            I should never be burdened by your sexual choice if that choice is outside of the biological norms… (I’m sure you know what I mean by that.). But the fact is I am and that is not right.

          • Trilemma

            Most groups of Christians want themselves to be legally recognized as Christian so that donations to their groups will be tax deductible.

            In 2001, then Surgeon General David Satcher issued a report that concluded “there is no valid scientific evidence that sexual orientation can be changed.” On their website, the APA says, “The American Psychological Association affirms that same-sex sexual and romantic attractions, feelings, and behaviors are normal and positive variations of human sexuality regardless of sexual orientation identity.” And also says, “The American Psychological Association concludes that there is insufficient evidence to support the use of psychological interventions to change sexual orientation.”

            My sexual choice has never burdened you nor will it ever burden you. You have an imaginary burden.

          • GPS Daddy

            >>Most groups of Christians want themselves to be legally recognized as Christian so that donations to their groups will be tax deductible

            Again, a twisting of words. Churches was to be recognized as a non-profit so they do not have to pay taxes. This is NOT the same as wanting to be recognized as Christians. Your really showing how your so willing to twist things to make your argument. You do know there is in who first started this?’

            >>In 2001, then Surgeon General David Satcher issued a report that concluded

            I’m sure they do. But the removal a homosexuality from the DMV was a political move not a scientific one. The studies done on homosexuality consistently have flaws in this. To say no “valid” scientific evidence is that kind of twisting of words as:

            “There is no valid scientific evidence that men can overcome a porn addiction”.

            >>My sexual choice has never burdened you nor will it ever burden you. You have an imaginary burden

            Hmmm, lets see, same-sex marriage for one. That legally burdens me which is what I was referring to. (But did not indicate).

          • Trilemma

            A Christian church that files IRS form 1023 is requesting official legal recognition as a Christian church. Look at the questions on Schedule A of form 1023.

            How has same sex marriage legally burdened you?

          • GPS Daddy

            My Trilemma. I’m thinking that you can’t even see the error in your reasoning. I will try again. This form has nothing to do with legally registering someone as a Christian. Its about registering an organization as a non-profit. A recognized and valid non-profit is a Church. this does NOT have to be a Christian church… just a church. There are non-Christian religions that use the word church. Mormons for example.

            So your analogy fails.

            >>How has same sex marriage legally burdened you?

            Well, lets see here, my daughter is very, very good a photography. She will not do a SSW. That could end her up financially devastated or even in jail if she is in CA. I’d say that burden’s me unjustly, unconstitutionally, and is ontological false.

          • Trilemma

            A church is tax exempt because it’s a church. It doesn’t have to file form 1023 to receive tax exempt status. It already has tax exempt status. A church files form 1023 to receive legal recognition as a church so people will be guaranteed their donations are tax deductible. In order to get this legal recognition, a church has to submit their religious beliefs, religious doctrines and religious practices, something non-profits don’t have to do, just churches.

            Let’s say same sex marriage is illegal. Would you daughter shoot a same sex civil union ceremony? Would your daughter shoot portraits of gay couples in a studio? Would your daughter shoot a birthday party of a child of a gay couple? Would your daughter shoot a party of a gay couple celebrating being together for some number of years?

          • GPS Daddy

            The whole purpose of the church submitting this information is all about money. Specifically not paying taxes. Whether that is the church or the members. Its not about Christians being recognized legally as Christians.

            So your reasoning here still fails.

            “Would your daughter shoot…” why should she have too? Its a free country. She should be under no obligation to be creative where she chooses not too. What is someone wanted her to shoot a seance? Should she be obligated to shoot that? What about a Muslim being asked to shoot a Christian baptism and celebrate the resurrection of Christ?

            What about that Seattle Flower shop owner who had a gay man as a customer. They became friends. When he asked her to provide flower for his wedding she respectfully and kindly declined referring him to other stores that would do it.

            He sued her and is not only putting her out of business but destroying her and her family financially. Can you really justify that, Trilemma?

            This is the dark heart of the LGTB movement. And you support and promote it.

    • Patmos

      Sexual perversion and sexual confusion have nothing to do with rights.

      • Trilemma

        Your personal opinion about what constitutes sexual perversion and sexual confusion is not a basis for taking away other people’s rights.

  • Bojaws Dubois

    This is really tired. Biff’s continued desire to paint us as victims is getting pathetic. Ex-gays and ex-trans don’t have any physical or audible characteristics that identify them. They can bland in easily if they want. To suggest that they’re the most rejected minority in America is not just an overstatement; it’s an outright lie.

  • Kathy Klein

    Your group is rejected because of your judgmental attitude. Alcoholism is a disease, being gay or trans is not a disease. There is no such thing as ex-gays. There are, however, gay or trans people who choose to live a different life style. This is not a cure, it’s a choice. Saying ex-gay or recovering gay reflects a judgment of those who make a different choice. Btw, I’m a 57 year old straight woman who just thinks people shouldn’t be labeled as sick based on their sexuality.

  • Boris

    Atheists used to be a small rejected minority. But now we are taking over. The Christians had better hope we don’t
    treat them the way they have treated us. I wouldn’t mind seeing a few hundred million Christians turned into torches we can toast our marsh mellows with. Better get your guns because we are coming for them too. We already have your children on our side. Better hide.

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