The effort of Big Tech and Swamp Democrats to silence opposition is growing more absurd by the day. Now Katie Couric is calling for Trump supporters to be “deprogrammed.” What does this look like? Where does it all lead? Stream Senior Editor and student of history John Zmirak has some idea. 

Remember, this has not really happened to John. … Yet. So consider this satirical. … For the moment. 

Zmirak Self-Criticism from John Zmirak on Vimeo.
 
 
 

Official Transcript:
 

I would like to thank Google, Twitter, Facebook, Apple, and President Xi in particular for the opportunity to address the world.

As you know I have long served as a soldier on behalf of the forces of imperialism. Recent battlefield setbacks resulted in my capture by the forces of national liberation. In dialogue with the People’s Social Media Self-Defense Units, I have learned much since then. I wish to share that with my fellow Americans. Most especially with those still in the spell of the imperialist propaganda of the illegitimate Trumpist regime.

They are not to blame. Many of them have spent their entire lives inundated by systemic racism, transphobia, Islamophobia, and consumerism. These form the ideology promoted by the Christian Nationalist power-elites. My thanks to Christianity Today for publishing so many of the reading materials we are mandated to study here. In between labor details and group gymnastics here at the Facility, we develop our consciousness. Perhaps we may someday be of use to the community. 

Finding Freedom in Captivity

I am grateful that my internment permitted me to escape from this false consciousness. In my physical captivity, I have found mental freedom. Of course my repentance is just beginning. I expect to spend a great deal more time in the People’s custody, until my re-education is complete, at their discretion.

I now understand and fully accept the facts about America. In an imperialist context, I could not face them. Instead I would have distracted myself and denied them. I would have engaged in flippant pursuits such as churchgoing and anti-Choice activism. My fellow internees freely admit that if released, they would return to the separatist bourgeois enclave of the nuclear family. There they’d continued to indoctrinate the young people entrusted by the State to their care, their children. The People will not let that happen.

What I’ve Learned So Far

FACT: The Christian religion in its traditional, reactionary form has been from the beginning an exercise in repressing sexuality. It hit hardest womyn, queers, transpeople, throuples, poly folk, and others. The free-spirited and polymorphous sexual spirit of the Classical world was blighted for centuries. It was not until the harems of the sultans that some oasis of equality and free sexual play would return to the world.

FACT: America was founded in 1619 by white Christian Nationalists as a haven for slave-owners. A cabal of capitalists hoped to protect their trade in black bodies from the Arab-led abolitionist movement worldwide. The so-called “United States” declared independence first to perpetuate slavery at home. And second to foment white supremacy worldwide. All their rhetoric of “equality” was mere propaganda for the regime.  

FACT: “Freedom” as understood by Christian Nationalists is a dubious and highly selective tool of white male heterosexual privilege. The Trumpists claim that members of dominant groups should be “free” to arm themselves. To enjoy the fruits of economic exploitation. To disseminate speech that promotes their ongoing power. But they would restrict women’s reproductive health care choices. They would prevent trans teens from gaining needed surgery to correct birth defects, such as unwanted genitalia. They would prevent queers, people of color, and undocumented immigrants (among others) from gaining unrestricted access to the “private homes” of privileged People of Pallor at will. So they lock “their” doors, fence “their” yards, and call it “home invasion” when others try to enter. This is all part of false consciousness.

I Have Been a Tool

FACT: I have willfully and with full knowledge disseminated doubts about the honesty of the 2020 elections. In doing so I was fully aware of what I did. I knew I was retarding the progress of vulnerable people from Beacon Hill to Silicon Valley. I clung like a hypnotized zealot to outdated notions of “ballot security.” I winked at racist measures of voter suppression such as “signature verification.” As if the votes of imperialists and bigots should count alongside those of strivers for justice.

FACT: I here freely and publicly confess that I have been a willing tool of the patriarchy. Indeed, I employed its rhetoric, promoted its policies, and even endorsed its gangster-in-chief, Donald Trump. I fully deserve and embrace whatever expiation the People demand of me. My current internment, were it to last a thousand lifetimes, would not purge my guilt.

FACT: I have not only opposed women’s Choice. I also supported under the rubric of “gun rights” the distribution of means of violence among lumpenproletariat saboteurs and wreckers. To my eternal shame, I advocated the resistance of reactionary Uyghurs to the benevolent, corrective measures imposed by the Chinese People. I willingly mocked and undermined the authority of Pope Francis, the World Economic Forum, the Honorable George Soros, and the United Nations. The guilt is mine alone.

We Are Never Tortured

RESOLVE: To in some small way demonstrate my repentance I have removed every filthy clot of regressive propaganda which I posted or created in the past. My social media accounts are now pristine, or banned, at the People’s pleasure. At last they stand purged of Trumpist lies, heterosexist cant, and xenophobic superstition. May the blank page they represent be the mirror of the new beginning, the Year Zero, which the Harris/Biden administration ushers in.

AFFIRMATION: I would like to assure my family that I receive adequate food and medicine. We are never, never tortured or subject to repeated, unnecessary enemas. None of the People’s internees have had their organs removed and sold by the Chinese government. These are all LIES. I urge my readers to report anyone who repeats such propaganda to the local People’s Vigilance Committee, or the User Harassment tab on your social media platform.

Victory to President Xi! Victory to the People!

 
John Zmirak is a senior editor at The Stream, and author or co-author of ten books, including The Politically Incorrect Guide to Immigration and The Politically Incorrect Guide to Catholicism. He is co-author with Jason Jones of “God, Guns, & the Government.”