Covering politics for The Stream this past year, I’d like to think I’ve got a pretty good idea where things are going next year. However, with one more year left of Barack Obama as president, I’m afraid many of my predictions aren’t terribly uplifting, so be sure to read them all the way through to the, uh, unusual ones at the end.

Here are some presidential election predictions:

• Trump Runs as an Independent, Thinks Cruz Unfairly Won GOP Primary Nomination
• Trump Wins New Hampshire but Ultimately Loses the GOP Presidential Nomination to Cruz
• Cruz Beats Hillary in Presidential Race, Hillary Insists America is Now Officially On the Wrong Side of History

Islamic terrorism (I can say those two words, unlike Obama and Hillary):

• Black Lives Matter Acts a Lot Like Islamic Jihadists, Burning Down Black Communities and Terrorizing Law Enforcement
• Black Lives Matter Forgets to Care about Unborn Black Lives Cut Short in White-Owned Planned Parenthood Clinics
• European Countries Become a Basket Case Due to Inability to Control Radicalism of Islamic Refugees

And some possible headlines from Obama’s last year (don’t read if easily depressed):

• “Unofficial Unemployment Rate Increases to Great Depression Era Levels”
• “Mitt Romney’s ’47 Percent’ Increases to 50 percent on Government Assistance Under Obama”
• “Muslim Education Mandate in Public Schools to Accommodate Increasing Number of Refugees”
• “Obamacare Costs Skyrocket as Private Insurance Options Virtually Disappear”
• “Illnesses and Early Deaths Increasing as Americans Cannot Afford Obamacare”
• “Obama Signs Multiple Sweeping Executive Orders Expanding Gun Control”
• “‘National Debt Grows Like the Evil Monster Plant from Little Shop of Horrors, Obama Continues Feeding It”
• “More and More Employees Fired by Big Corporations for Not Signing Onto Same-Sex Marriage Programs”

Even though at this point it appears the country will still be headed in the wrong direction next year, God is ultimately in control and you never know what may happen. With that in mind, here are some lighter predictions to end things on a brighter note:

• “Reporter Calls Chris Christie ‘Chris Krispy Kreme,’ Insists it Wasn’t a Microagression Because You Can’t Be Microaggressive, or Racist, Toward Big, Powerful White Men or Something”
• From my colleague Anika Smith: “Rubio Raps Hamilton, Citing the Ten-Dollar Founding Father”
• “Obama Renames ‘Christmas at the White House’ ‘Winter Solstice at the Rainbow House'”