When I log into Facebook, I see the faces of children who have lost parents in Afghanistan or Iraq.

Three of these Gold Star children are Kristie, Evelyn and Alia Robertson. Their father, U.S. Army Sgt. 1st Class Forrest Robertson, was killed in Afghanistan on Nov. 3, 2013.

“Some days are just hard on them,” Sgt. 1st Class Robertson’s wife, Marcie, recently posted on Facebook. “I don’t think I will ever know how to respond when one of them starts venting and ends in tears saying … ‘and I don’t have a dad.’ It shatters my heart every single time.”

Forrest and Marcie’s daughters, who are 16, 13 and 8, respectively, have already been through more than most of us can imagine. They are part of a new generation of American children shouldering the cruelest burdens of our country’s post-9/11 conflicts.

When I think of the Robertsons, who have suffered enormously, it is impossible to utter an unfortunate phrase that somehow seeped into our national consciousness: “Happy Memorial Day.” As this courageous family’s struggle demonstrates, Memorial Day is not “happy.” It is a time to honor those who have made the ultimate sacrifice in service to our nation.

“It’s pretty hard to believe it’s been three years since I last saw him,” Marcie wrote in February while sharing one of her husband’s last Facebook messages. “I’m not sure it will ever feel real.”

As Marcie told me in the months following Forrest’s passing, the 35-year-old soldier, who was on his fifth deployment, was only a few weeks from coming home to Kansas.

“I couldn’t speak,” Marcie said at the time about receiving the devastating news of her husband’s death in Afghanistan. “I couldn’t form words.”

Three U.S. service members have died so far this year in the country where Forrest was killed, and as the May 3 death of U.S. Navy Chief Petty Officer (SEAL) Charles Keating IV reminds us, our troops still face grave danger in Iraq, too. Memorial Day was created during the Civil War to salute departed warriors like them.

As we are taught by an inspiring war widow who is raising three kids, however, Monday doesn’t have to be filled with sadness and tears. Last year, family and friends joined Marcie and her daughters to honor Forrest with a Memorial Day barbeque.

“Thank you is becoming completely inadequate to describe how much I appreciate all that has been done for us,” Marcie wrote. “It is so comforting to know we have so many people in so many places willing to do so much for us.

“People tell me all the time ‘I can’t imagine. I don’t know how you do it,’” she continued. “It is because of all the love and support shown to us (sometimes by complete strangers) that we are still standing.”

Marcie’s poignant words show us that a community’s support can help a Gold Star family persevere. So on Monday, instead of walking around saying “Happy Memorial Day,” what if we all joined together in praying for the Robertsons and thousands of brave families like them?

“The storm that was sent to break you is going to be the storm that God uses to make you,” Marcie, whose strength defines the resilience of our nation’s Gold Star community, recently shared.

When the Robertsons visit Forrest’s place of rest, they see an American flag and a quote from Thomas Payne on the fallen soldier’s majestic headstone.

“I prefer peace but if trouble must come, let it come in my time so my children can live in peace,” the quote reads.

Kristie, Evelyn and Alia Robertson are growing up in a country that their father gave all to defend. They are worthy of his ultimate sacrifice. How we mark Memorial Day – and how we choose to honor the fallen – will help determine whether we are worthy, too.

Tom Sileo is a Senior Editor of The Stream. He is co-author of Fire in My Eyes and Brothers Forever, and recipient of the Marine Corps Heritage Foundation’s 2016 General Oliver P. Smith Award for distinguished reporting. He can be followed on Twitter @TSileo.

Note: This article was edited on May 27, 2016, to add a missing sentence.