Help! My Loved One is Hurting

By Janet Boynes Published on August 5, 2023

This month’s newsletter speaks to those who have loved ones who are hurting. This may include a child, family member, close friend, or someone you mentor.

The fact is that when our loved one is hurting, we are hurting as well. We not only want to make the pain go away for them, but we also want it to make it better now! Maybe you have just recently been made aware that someone close to you has walked away from the Lord and from the truths they have grown up with. You may feel like the rug has been pulled out from under you and you are not sure where to go from here. Maybe they are struggling with their identity, addictions, or mental illness.

You may have been praying for your loved one for many years and are growing weary of watching them going down a path of destruction. Here at JBM, we want to encourage you to “stay the course.”

Here are some tips we would like to share with you.

Believe the Best

We never give up believing for the best in their lives. 1 Corinthians 13:7 “Love is a safe place of shelter; it never stops believing in the best for others. Love never takes failure as defeat, for it never gives up.”

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We know that God has a plan for their future and for bringing them into a place of an abundant walk with Him. Ephesians 1:11 declares, “that before we were even born, He gave us our destiny, that we would fulfill the plan of God who always accomplishes every purpose and plan in His heart.” Did you know that we can pray this over our loved one? That means we can believe for them to have a soft heart and listening ears so that they can walk in His divine plan.

Never Stop Praying

We never stop praying for our loved ones. We know from James 5:17 that “the earnest (heartfelt, continued) prayer of a righteous man makes tremendous power available (dynamic in its working).” Never underestimate the power of your prayers; they are your greatest weapon.

Trust God for the Supernatural

As those who are reaching out to those who are hurting, there are certain things we can believe for in our own daily lives.

We MUST believe God for supernatural peace and joy in our lives daily, even though the situation around us may seem extremely tumultuous. This requires “casting our cares on the Lord” and (resting in Him) trusting Him. Jesus was in a boat when He asked the disciples, “Where is your faith?” (Luke 8:22-25). He wasn’t mad at them or disgusted with them. When Jesus calmed the storm, He was helping them to see where they would find peace. His goal in speaking peace into the storm was to encourage them to take their eyes off the storm and on to Him.

We can believe that we will have supernatural wisdom in our interaction, words, and responses to our loved ones. The Word says if we need wisdom, let us ask of God (James 1:5) and that the Lord stores up sound wisdom for the upright (Proverbs 2:7).

We can love the way that Christ loved us, even while we were sinners. The love of God will draw them to repentance, not our condemnation. We can always love them as we become aware of how much they have struggled and fought temptation during their journey.

We must humble ourselves and allow the Holy Spirit to transform us so that we become a living epistle to our loved one. They should see the presence and demonstration of God in us so that they are drawn to Him.

We pray for each person who reads this newsletter, whether you are trusting God for freedom in your own life, or for someone you are reaching out to. THERE IS HOPE!!!


Janet Boynes founded Janet Boynes Ministries in Maple Grove, Minnesota, in 2006. She authored the books Called Out: A Former Lesbian’s Discovery of Freedom, God & Sexuality, and her latest: God & The LGBT Community. Janet is an ordained minister under the Assemblies of God and travels the U.S. and overseas sharing a message of redemption and hope through the power of Jesus Christ.

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