Freedom From Same-Sex Attraction and the Homosexual Lifestyle

By Janet Boynes Published on January 28, 2022

“You are living a lie. How long can you keep this up?” says the person from within. If you are a person that wants everyone to believe you are heterosexual, but you are secretly living a homosexual lifestyle, you know that voice very well. That voice cries out in pain and anguish because it cries with no sound. It is just the inner screams of your conscience knowing that you are doing wrong. You live in the moment and believe if they do not know, it will not hurt them. Is this the life you really want to live?

Living a Lie

Exploring sexuality, in general, is an unwelcome subject but it gets even more difficult when there are desires for the same sex. People consider this type of behavior immoral and deplorable. Rather than feel ashamed, you put on a camouflage and live a duplicate lifestyle. As long as you could balance yourself and live up to the image you were trying to portray, it worked: or did it? Who did it actually work for? How can lies really produce happiness for anyone?

So many people live a life on the down-low. It is their way of holding on to what people want them to be versus what they want to experience. Somewhere in their minds, they may believe they are having the best of both worlds. There are preachers who stand behind pulpits and speak against homosexuality, but when they get behind closed doors, they live that very life they preach against. Heterosexual couples have joined together in holy matrimony only to find out that one of them has been intimate with same-sex partners. Think of the pain and betrayal their spouse goes through after finding out their dirty little secret. Think of the hurt and rejection felt by the children of that marriage.

Are You Pleasing God?

If this is you, what is that voice inside really saying to you? What is God telling you to do? The world is talking very loudly. The world wants us to all turn from God and just live loose and free. God is very firm in His Word to let us know not to love this world or the things in this world because we will be absent from God’s love. (1 John 2:15) While you were trying to please yourself and everyone else, did you stop to wonder if you were pleasing God? 

Are You Willing to Submit to God’s Will for Your Life?

There is a struggle that goes on with everyone to live the life God intended us to live. There are so many forces and devices coming against us to keep us from fulfilling God’s plan for our life. If you are someone who has lived this dual lifestyle, you can be free. Freedom is not becoming gay or straight. Freedom is found when you turn completely to Christ (John 8:36). You must be willing to confess to God that you lived this lie. You must realize the life you have been living was wrong and that you hurt people and yourself. God welcomes everyone with open arms when they are ready to confess and forsake their evil ways. 

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Perhaps you are not ready to break the ties of that relationship, or you may not know how. He never asked us to understand it all. He just wants to know you are willing to submit to His will above your own. He will help you sort it out and make sense of what your life should be. God knows where you are at. He knows what you have gotten yourself into. He still says, “Come.” He still reaches out with open arms and wants to help you set your life in order and be free of the lies. He wants you to find your peace and joy in a life full of truth. If you have lived this life, please take a moment, and pray this prayer:

“Father, in Jesus’ name, I confess that I have lived a lie. I have been lying to myself, others and above all, I lied to you. Help me to set my life in order according to your Word. I need your help and strength to overcome same-sex attractions and to heal the hurts that I have and that I have caused. I submit to your will above my own and I ask you to become the Lord of my life. Order my steps in Your Word from this day forth. Amen.”

Please share with JBM if this article has helped you to overcome the life of duplicity.


Janet Boynes founded Janet Boynes Ministries in Maple Grove, Minnesota, in 2006. She authored the books Called Out: A Former Lesbian’s Discovery of Freedom, God & Sexualityand her latest: God & The LGBT Community. Janet is an ordained minister under the Assemblies of God and travels the U.S. and overseas sharing a message of redemption and hope through the power of Jesus Christ.

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