Could This British ‘Transgender’ Murderer Save Our Sanity?
And Other Gut-Churning Questions from Karen and Obadiah
The Stream is running a series of fanciful political dialogues between a white female Democrat, “Karen,” a Manhattan native, and a white male Republican from Lubbock, Texas, “Obadiah.” Since Obadiah has been banned from Twitter and Facebook thanks to Karen’s complaints, the exchange takes place on Gab.com — a free speech platform which Karen has joined with the intent of monitoring it for “hate speech.”
Karen: I see you’re still on this platform, giving credibility to anti-Semites and Christian nationalists.
Obadiah: And you’re still here operating as your very own volunteer Stasi. Sadly, you can’t silence people here by appealing to anonymous committees of thin-skinned, censorious busybodies.
Don’t Cite the OED When Disciplining Your Dog
Karen: Have you moved to Florida yet? You can join all the rednecks who shoot off their fingers and get their heads stuck inside of reptiles, who are making homophobia and transphobia the focal points of the Republican party.
Obadiah: Yes. That’s what needs to happen. We also must oppose Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. Plus Women’s “Reproductive Health Care.” Enough with this haggling over what such words actually mean. Truth isn’t a value to Progressives, so there’s no point disputing it with you. It’s like citing the Oxford English Dictionary when I’m disciplining my dog.
Just take a principled stand against whatever the Priests of Baal are praying to, mock all their idols, throw poop at their sacred processions. Like Satan, they can’t abide mockery. That’s a “tell,” exposing their weak point. We need to exploit it, like General Patton plunging into Germany.
So which fake victim group is earning your glycerine tears this week, Karen? I could use a good, cleansing laugh.
Karen: I’m not in mood to hear you mock the suffering of the millions of transgender young people in Florida, who’ll now be deprived of life-saving counseling and treatment. Instead, I’ll just take comfort in the confirmation of a strong Black woman like Ketanji Brown Jackson to the U.S. Supreme Court.
Obadiah: Okay, Groomer! I’m glad the Democrats scraped the bottom of the barrel to find that crackpot too. I hope conservatives hang her and her sympathy for child molesters around every Democrat’s neck like a millstone. And keep reminding America that Disney employs even more pedophiles than the Jesuits. No wonder it’s stuffing kids’ cartoons with propaganda for sex perversions. I hope De Santis finds a way to turn Disneyworld into a Superfund toxic waste site.
Karen: Your Christian compassion overwhelms me, Obadiah. I hope you’re happy when trans kids start committing suicide thanks to you.
Obadiah: You’re leaning on a bankrupt study conducted by activists, to gaslight parents into letting creepy sex offenders dress up in drag and groom their kids. But I want to pause here and surprise you a little.
The Murderer Wearing the Onesie
Karen: I don’t think you can do that. I already expect the worst.
Obadiah: No, no, I think we can find common ground on at least one issue. There’s one “trans” activist out there whom I actually support. In fact, I want the whole world to know about him. Let me do something none of my friends would expect me to do. I’m going to quote from a feminist blog. (You didn’t know that I read them, did you?) Here goes, from Women Are Human:
UK — Scotland. Sophie Eastwood, a male prisoner currently held in a women’s wing at HMP Polmont (Scotland’s national holding facility for male young offenders) now identifies as a baby and has demanded to be treated as one by prison staff. The demands include wearing diapers, having meals blended like baby food, and holding hands with prison officers when being escorted.
Eastwood, who was previously named Daniel Eastwood, was originally jailed as a male youth in 2004 for dangerous driving and was sentenced to 12 months at Dumfries Young Offenders’ Institution. A month before scheduled release, Eastwood strangled fellow prisoner Paul Algie with shoelaces and was subsequently jailed for life. Eastwood began identifying as a woman in January 2018 while serving time in Shotts prison, a prison for long term adult male offenders, and has been held in women-only units since that time.
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Karen: Oh for God’s sake … .
Obadiah: Nope, you don’t get to invoke gods. (Unless you mean Moloch, of course.) You’re a proud Darwinian materialist, who gussies up her nihilism with pieces of Christian cargo you’ve picked up off the ground. So you decide that certain “victim” groups deserve “compassion” and “justice,” while others can get killed in the womb and burned for “green energy.”
But this one, “Sophie Eastwood,” is one of yours. You people have decided that babies with Down Syndrome ought to be exterminated worldwide. But adults with bizarre sexual fetishes and delusions are sacred — like eunuchs in the cult of Cybele. Which is weird, since from a Darwinian perspective they just seem like maladaptive mutations whom the species ought to excrete like so much poop. But then nobody ever accused you people of consistency.
A Statue in Trafalgar Square
Karen: I haven’t studied her case, but Ms. Eastwood appears to be severely disturbed, or else abusing the system.
Obadiah: On the contrary! This imprisoned killer is a prophet, a visionary thinker who decided to hold your cult of Baal to the terms of its own creed. I’d like to grab Daniel Eastwood and hug him, maybe send him a case of Gerber at his prison.
Karen: I notice that you insist on dead-naming and misgendering Ms. Greenwood.
Obadiah: You can’t help it, can you? The bell rings and you start weeping, like Pavlov’s crocodile. But Eastwood makes me happy. Reading his demands for infant care in prison puts a spring in my step. I wish we could have videos of the female wardens having to change his little nappy, while he mewls his demand to be nursed. In a work of performance art that might never be equaled, Eastwood is embodying the Everyman, the citizen of the West, as you people secretly conceive him: An infantilized killer, a pervert in a diaper, a felon and still a victim, sucking formula out of a bottle at the taxpayer’s expense.
There needs to be a bronze statue of Eastwood, put up in Trafalgar Square. Or maybe Biden can appoint him next to the United States Supreme Court. I mean, so far America has excluded British transgender killer babies from the court. Here’s a whole new field of Diversity to be ploughed.
A Win-Win Solution
Karen: You’re cherry-picking an unsympathetic case to trivialize the suffering of millions.
Obadiah: I’m pretending that Progressives’ words have stable meanings. I’m doing you the courtesy of applying adult, human standards to the words that come out of your face, as if what stood behind them was an intellect, not just a power-hungry Id. And I’d like to go further.
There is no more rational reason to accept Eastwood’s claim to be a woman than his claim to be a baby. But I’m happy to posit both. In fact, I think the British government should take him at his word. Designate Eastwood as a baby, but push the age back a bit. Declare him an eight-month fetus, ship him to Washington, D.C., where they’ll abort him. And burn him for fuel.
That way a murderer gets the justice he won’t face in liberal Britain, so I’m happy. And he provides “green energy,” so you should be happy too.
I’m all about common ground today, Karen. Eastwood just put me in the right kind of mood.
Karen reports Obadiah to Gab for encouraging violence against the Trans community. In response, Gab CEO Andrew Torba doesn’t ban Obadiah, but starts following him on the platform.
John Zmirak is a senior editor at The Stream and author or co-author of ten books, including The Politically Incorrect Guide to Immigration and The Politically Incorrect Guide to Catholicism. He is co-author with Jason Jones of “God, Guns, & the Government.”