Why I Almost Quit Being a Pastor

It’s no surprise that thousands of pastors step down each year, and most who start in ministry never finish. It’s a hard, dangerous calling — but there is hope if the Great Shepherd has called you.

After nearly 15 years of pastoring and 25 years in ministry, Shane Idleman was ready to quit, too. And this is where his story really begins.

Shane Idleman is the founder and lead pastor of Westside Christian Fellowship in Southern California and the creator of the WCF Radio Network. His program, Regaining Lost Ground, points us back to God and reminds us that although times change, truth does not. His books, blogs, and sermons can all be found at ShaneIdleman.com.

Editor’s Note: The transcript that follows was automatically generated and lightly edited, so please be aware there could be typos or other small errors. The Stream is working toward a transcription service that does fast, accurate, and reliable work; thank you in advance for your patience!

00:00:01 – 00:00:22:15
Everyone. Pastor Shane here. It’s actually been a while since I’ve recorded, Pastor’s Unplugged, and obviously anybody is going to be able to benefit this, but the goal is to have you send this to a pastor or someone in leadership. I’m going to open up, right now during this podcast and talk about some things that are really important, I think, for pastors.

00:22:17 – 00:00:46:02
Also, I’m working on a new book, and the reason I’m putting this out now. And not when after the book’s release is I’m trying to get more information on some of the things that pastors struggle with. The title of the book is, I almost quit. I almost quit navigating the Landmines of Ministry. And I’m going to make a long story short, because I could be here for a few hours.

00:46:06 – 00:01:20:18
But, like any leader, any pastor. As time goes on, things begin, you know, obviously, to wear on you, we talk about stress, but also discouragement comes in. And so I’m talking about in this book and even a little bit now with my own personal struggle. And, you know, it’s different when you’re young and full of, of energy and expectation and hopes and, dreams and aspirations and, you know, man, after many years, 15 years now of pastoring, I know not a lot compared to most people.

01:20:20 – 00:01:45:00
It’s really was taking its toll and I was becoming discouraged. And for the first time ever, I thought about, you know, maybe the Lord wants me to do something else. And I’m going to go into a lot more detail in the future. But in a nutshell, you know, opportunities or at work, presented to me, through different ministries or other types of, of professions.

01:45:02 – 00:02:01:20
And, it’s like, well, Lord, are you opening the door? And of course, I knew not. I mean, any, any time he calls you to pastor, you know, for the most part, that’s what you’re going to be called to do until the day you die. Unless he, of course, redirects or there’s some type of big, you know, moral failing that we’re seeing a lot of right now.

02:01:20 – 00:02:28:06
That’s another reason I want to put the book out. So, the discouragement of of certain things I’ve been praying for, years and years going by, not being fulfilled. And as you know, the church, we love the church, but it’s a very, unique environment because we’re all broken people. We’re all, you know, we’re we’re saints, but we we sin and we hold offenses and and bitterness.

02:28:06 – 00:02:52:04
And it it seems like every week you’re putting out a new fire. And so it can really grow on you and on your wife. My wife is going to add a chapter to the book, for pastor’s wives on, you know, her her fight through discouragement and, seasons of depression even. And, again, I want to go I don’t want to go into a lot of detail details right now, but I want to, let you know that I would love to hear from you.

02:52:04 – 00:03:20:08
If you’re a pastor, reach out to us. The email is actually pretty easy if you just email, email info I n so info at wkf, AV, which stands for Westside Christian Fellowship, antelope Valley as a as an apple, V as an Victor at info at WKF WCF AV org and just last name of pastor and what you’re struggling with.

03:20:08 – 00:03:40:04
I want to try to include some of those things, some of those concepts in the book, but just to give you, I just, kind of an overview of what the landmines are, that we need to avoid the landmine of pride, the landmine of the wrong pursuits, the landmine of power. You know, just we’re seeing a lot of that in the church today.

03:40:04 – 00:04:02:15
A lot of these guys that are falling, are not set up under a plurality of elders and accountability and, and just, you know, it’s just, it’s not we’re not CEOs. We’re we’re shepherds underneath the, the great shepherd. And then the landmine of pressure. If you don’t handle the pressure right. And have outlets for that pressure, when the, when the pressure on the outside is greater than the strength on the inside, you will implode.

04:02:17 – 00:04:25:20
And then the land mind of misplaced priorities. Wrong priorities. The landmine of pain. That’s a biggie. What do pastors do with pain? The pain. Maybe they cause people, but often the pain that others cause them. And it’s difficult because, we we have to handle things, not like the the just the average Christian. We’ve got to be above reproach.

04:25:20 – 00:04:59:03
We’ve got to season our works with grace. We’ve got to be loving and gentle and kind and, you know, and, there’s a lot of pain in ministry, and and that pain can really make us better if we’re not careful. So I’ll be talking about that. And then the landmine of misguided or wrong, passions, are passion, where the lust of the flesh and less of I, I and I’m also going to mention a couple of the books that will really help out that you can, you can download for free right now at the church website with addiction and then also feasting and fasting.

04:59:05 – 00:05:24:10
Is really important. But I’m going to actually tell you something that’s one and one of the things I’m excited about with this book is there’s not a lot of books. That talk about this, I think I’ve only read that I can remember two books, in 20 years that, touched on this topic. So when I was in this very difficult season, it lasted probably a couple of years.

05:24:10 – 00:05:49:20
You know, even Covid was hard. But then real right after Covid, and just getting older, as you get older, you know, not being able to jog anymore or sprint, let alone jog, just like it’s harder to get up. It’s, you know, the knees and the the joints and the energy and the mood. It’s like when you don’t when you’re not doing you and your health isn’t as as good as you’d like it.

05:49:22 – 00:06:11:19
And it’s affecting, every area of your life. It’s can be really discouraging. The problem was, I knew what to do. I just wasn’t doing it because. Too busy, right? Too much going on. So what? I’m really what I’m really looking forward to is, really helping pastors in this area because it’s a huge breakthrough and it’ll be a huge breakthrough in your ministry.

06:11:19 – 00:06:35:11
And the topic I’m talking about is many pastors do not steward their physical health. Think about this. We have tips on marriage, tips on finances, tips on parenting. We don’t steward our health. We don’t. We don’t try to improve our health, and our health affects everything else. It affects our marriage. You know, it’s hard. You can’t spend time with your kids or grandkids as well.

06:35:16 – 00:06:59:18
You can’t do things with them as if the body is constantly sluggish, constantly falling apart, constantly, you know, just negative. And of course, food, all the chemicals, play a huge role, even caffeine in large amounts and different things. So while I was going through this, like many of you, food is my comfort. And just when you eat too much, you become sluggish.

06:59:18 – 00:07:21:11
Your cells are overwhelmed. And that’s what they’re really finding it all disease is really linked to, cell cellular health or lack of, of cellular health at the micro at the, at the micro control level, the ATP, adenosine triphosphate, you know, the where the energy is produced. And I mean, cancer, Alzheimer’s, diabetes, something’s going on in our body.

07:21:13 – 00:07:46:05
And, at the cellular level, it’s because of too much food, junk food. We weren’t designed to eat as much as we do. And we’re just we’re continually feeding and and many pastors, you know, they struggle with gluttony, they struggle with being overweight. And it really affects, the production. Or maybe they don’t, but maybe they’re high on caffeine all the time and they’re, you know, just kind of, you know, snapping at people and highly strong.

07:46:05 – 00:08:07:21
And, and their marriage is kind of tense and they’re tense around their kids. And, and it’s because our health, how we take care of this body really affects things. The physical affects the spiritual. There’s just no way around to try getting four hours of sleep and eating junk and see how you feel. You’re going to feel terrible. And so I’m excited to to devote a chapter on this as well.

08:07:23 – 00:08:26:17
You know, we got to get back to stewarding this incredible gift that God has given us because it affects everything else. It really does. If you think it affects everything else, and we need to be the best we can be based on, you know, the, the, the options we have and the gifts that God has given us.

08:26:18 – 00:08:46:07
And so I think the title is going to be, I almost quit my almost quit. And that’s going to talk about the landmines. But it was a process. A couple things happened. Number one, I said, Lord, you know what? Whatever you have for me, these dreams, I’ve been these dead, these dreams that are dead. What I thought you were going to do.

08:46:10 – 00:09:06:17
You know what? I’m completely trusting you. And, wherever you want to put me, wherever you want to leave me. If I’m going to die here. That that’s fine. Because, you know, the the more God even grows a ministry, the more challenging it really is. And do you want to just stay right where God has you?

09:06:19 – 00:09:23:10
Pride can really enter in, you know, large church pastors, you know, think, they’re doing things right and look at me, and their pride can come in. Small church pastors think they’re the remnant church. And, that’s why we’re that’s why we’re real small. Because we’re the we’re the chosen. Right? And pride can slip in anywhere.

09:23:12 – 00:09:44:21
So the problem isn’t the size of the church. It’s the pride in the heart. And, I’m definitely a tackle that issues. Well, of course you know, if you’re in a large metropolitan area, numbers, just math plays a big role, too. So, so my back to my point is, I just said, Lord, whatever you want to do with my life, I’ll just, I don’t I don’t, you know, I even stop praying about some of these things.

09:44:21 – 00:09:59:16
And I can’t go into detail right now. Maybe in the future I will. But they’re just normal things pastors pray for. And I’ll go into detail in the first chapter of the book, and say, you know, Lord, I give it to you. And there was a release. It’s like, hey, you know, Joy starting to return again.

09:59:16 – 00:10:21:06
And I had to deal during what that time had to deal with a lot of maybe pain and bitterness. It was building up discouragement, you know, and sometimes when people leave, they leave in the wrong way. The negative things that lie about you, I mean, it just it all just builds up. So I just, you know, I gave it all to the Lord and then, the second thing I did that is so important on how to get pastors back on track.

10:21:06 – 00:10:41:07
Number one, get your heart right. Repent. Say, Lord, if you’re in a small church, Lord, wherever you want to. I love it here. I just I’m going to serve you faithfully and watch that joy return. I remember listening to Doctor Steve Schell. He said he was struggle with severe depression, and he was in line of the line one time for a buffet or something.

10:41:07 – 00:10:59:18
And he was talking to this, this couple, and they had so much joy and he couldn’t understand it. He knew their church is like that. That church is a small church, maybe 40, 50 people. Like, I can’t believe that. And God really dealt with him. God dealt with him on his, on his, his whole, life was centered around, you know, his large church or growing large church.

10:59:23 – 00:11:20:09
And once he repented of that, the depression lifted. It was pretty incredible. And so we have to say, no matter where God puts us, even, even a megachurch, those guys have so many problems. Right now, as I’m recording this, we’re considered a large church, but, you know, I think it’s over 2000 3000 members on the Sundays is a megachurch.

11:20:11 – 00:11:39:23
And there they have stuff I hear about. I don’t I mean, you’re basically you’re like a running a company. And they have issues as well too. They’re like, Lord, if I could just get back to, you know, my, my hometown and just, just, church plant, you know, and we become disgruntled no matter where God puts us.

11:39:23 – 00:11:57:07
Because life is hard. Life is challenging. So why don’t you say, Lord, wherever you want to put me? I’m going to be happy and content and I’m going to love these people, even if there’s a lot of issues and problems. So, again, just a reminder, if you do need help, I don’t want to forget that we have these available for you, these books.

11:57:09 – 00:12:19:00
And then the second thing I did, which is, just as important, just as important is I got kind of in a funk. And pastors know, it’s like, man, it’s hard to even go to church. It’s hard to when you don’t want to preach and you’re the preacher. And just the Wednesday studies, the Sundays, the events I was I was in a funk.

12:19:00 – 00:12:42:09
And, the third point here is going to play a big role in this. And I’ll tell you about that in a minute. So, I said, you know what, Lord? I was reading a devotional, To Fathers and Sons by Doctor Paul Brill. Heart. It’s a it’s a good one, I think, in front of Amazon. And it talked about one chapter, just really talked about how we have to be faithful in the gifts that he has given us, regardless of how we feel.

12:42:09 – 00:12:57:18
Now, of course I know it, but to read it and to hear it from someone else really helps. And so I said, you know what, Lord, I’m going to I’m going to, I’m not going to miss as much. I’m going to I’m going to get back there. And, once I did, the joy followed. You know, sometimes maybe I didn’t feel like being there.

12:57:18 – 00:13:20:07
But after worship and the message came alive, the Spirit of God came upon the message. And it was incredible. Absolutely incredible. So some of those are the best Wednesdays and Sundays I can remember, when I push through that season. So that’s the next point. Push through and fulfill your responsibilities even when you don’t feel like it. That’s actually a very important biblical principle called discipline, perseverance, fortitude.

13:20:08 – 00:13:40:20
You’re building those things into your life. And then the fourth, the third thing, the fourth. I’m trying to remember, I probably won’t it on that one. But the third thing that was really important, and actually, I’m still kind of going through a season of that right now is I finally said, you know what? I’ve got to do something.

13:40:22 – 00:13:58:12
About just my own health. And I was starting to get signs of, of what they call it. I think it’s called, metabolic syndrome. And you can look at your waist circumference, you know, about 40in for men if you’re high blood pressure. And mine was right, 40 high blood pressure. I was like, why is my blood pressure high?

13:58:12 – 00:14:14:16
It never used to be high. And then of course, you’ve got there’s other there’s other indications. You know, if you look at your bloodwork, your, cholesterol levels, LDL, HDL ratios and things like that, and I’m not going to go into that cholesterol. It’s kind of questionable. I’m not really if you got all these other markers good.

14:14:16 – 00:14:32:21
I’m not to worry about cholesterol. So and I started to feel like my eyesight wasn’t as good. It’s still not that great. And kind of hands are falling or feet falling asleep. And just other things I won’t go to, like, details, but these are, these are kind of signs that your body has too much glucose, your, your, your, your pre stages of, of diabetes.

14:32:23 – 00:14:52:03
And I know this I have the health and fitness background. And the bottom line is at 215 turned 20 pounds 62. You’re okay I guess in your 30s. 40s maybe. I mean what you what do you do now? How you take care of your body now is going to affect you a decade from now. Okay? So it is important what you do now.

14:52:03 – 00:15:13:07
So back to the story. So weighing that is not really good as I get older in my 50s. I mean an ideal weight would be probably a good 30 pounds less than that, but. Oh, you’ll lose a lot of muscle. Well, not necessarily if you do it right and, also I, I’d, I’d rather change a little bit muscle and lose a lot of weight and be in good health for the rest of my life.

15:13:07 – 00:15:34:23
So, you know, we we were too much about muscle, especially when fasting. Really, if you’re fasting for biblical reasons, you shouldn’t worry about that. So anyway, so I was eating actually pretty, really healthy, but too much and food was my comfort. So, you know, dinner. Okay. I should have just stopped there. But then, you know, the organic Greek yogurt, some peanut butter, a little bit of manuka honey.

15:34:23 – 00:15:50:07
And before you know it, there’s another 600 calories. And then, you know, and then there’s some more. And so I’m just I just found myself eating a lot throughout the day, but I was able to maintain my weight because just working out and staying active. But I could tell it was bogging me down. It was too much energy.

15:50:09 – 00:16:05:22
And when you give your body too much energy, then, it’s going to break down. And that’s what we’re seeing when you hear this term cellular or insulin resistance, diabetes type two is on the rise. All this is preventable. That’s what the big thing is. And so the reason I’m excited about this is this is huge, guys.

16:05:22 – 00:16:25:07
This is huge. If you get this area under control, the physical your physical disciplines will affect your spiritual health. And what happens is too much. It was even it was good stuff. I mean, you know really good stuff, but too much energy. And so my pancreas, you know, shoots out the insulin. The insulin goes to deal with the glucose.

16:25:07 – 00:16:48:06
What insulin does is it binds to the the membrane of the cell. It’s kind of like a door. And it lets it glucose into the cell. And then the cell is like, hey, wait a minute, there’s too much junk. There’s too much garbage in in here right now. I’m we’re worn down. The atp’s affected. The micro conduit is affected in in cancer, even Alzheimer’s is being called type three diabetes.

16:48:06 – 00:17:08:16
All of this, I believe, has to do with with what I’m talking about. Most diseases. And so then now your cell becomes resistant to insulin. It’s like no, no. And it pushes the glucose back into the bloodstream. And that’s where a lot of these problems come from honestly, is just the blood sugar. You won’t be on to lose weight at all with insulin high.

17:08:18 – 00:17:31:01
And that’s why what’s became really popular right now, the, you know, ozempic it’s a, it’s a GLP one glucagon like peptide one, which is a, semi glue tied it what it does, it mimics, glucagon in the body or actually prevents hunger to some degree. But there’s a lot of, ramifications on this. You should follow somebody named Ben Beckman on this topic.

17:31:01 – 00:17:50:14
He talked about how a person, let’s say they lose 30 pounds, 40% of that is muscle mass, 40% on ozempic. And a lot of it can be a skeletal eye, not just muscle mass, I should say, nonfat mass. So that could be water, of course. Muscle skeletal and and 70% of the people get off the drug and then they you will gain that weight back.

17:50:14 – 00:18:09:13
I mean, that’s just kind of natural. And the weight that comes back, though, is not the muscle, it’s the fat. So the person who actually is more overweight when they start stop later when they gain that weight back then they were when they started. So it’s always God’s way is the best way. So my point is and that was kind of long there, but I want to show you how important this is.

18:09:13 – 00:18:28:17
I think it’s a missing link. I think I think we’re we’re we’re missing, how important our physical health is. And I think God is showing us look at look at diabetes in kids. Type two diabetes, adult onset diabetes. Liver disease, a fatty liver disease in teenagers. I mean, guys, we’ve got it. This is this is huge.

18:28:17 – 00:18:50:06
This is a huge, deal. So bottom line is, when I begin to refocus my life on this disciplines the fasting, incorporating, I don’t and I think fasting. It’s a lifestyle. Okay? It’s not, something. Okay. January 1st, I’m going to do this or in June. It’s a it’s a fasted lifestyle because you’re you’re discipling the flesh.

18:50:06 – 00:19:15:04
You enjoy, you know, meals when you need to enjoy cookouts. But there’s, there’s you need to control the flesh. Your flesh doesn’t control you. And so, again, we’re not perfect. But once we begin to, instill disciplines back into our life again, really affects us spiritually. So there’s another point I can’t think of right now, but those three things in combination, that was kind of the turning point for me.

19:15:06 – 00:19:35:05
And I said, okay, Lord. Feeling good again. I’m glad I went through that funk because now I’m going to write the book. And as a result, different speaking engagements have come up recently in Southern California, different states, Ohio to speak, pastors conferences, on this topic of, you know, of encouraging them. So anyway, I hope that helps.

19:35:05 – 00:19:58:01
Again, I want to encourage you to email us, at info info at AV. Org info at AV. Org website Christian Fellowship ale valley.org. Let us know if you’re pastor what your struggle is. Also, you can follow me on Instagram, of course Facebook YouTube Rumble and I’ll be releasing more of these things. It’s probably going to be a few months.

19:58:01 – 00:20:14:09
I’m hoping. I’m hoping to get this out late in the summer of this year, 2025. But just excited to announce this news and want to be some encouragement. Now to you. You can get back on track. Try those three things that I just talked about. They will be life changing.