Why I Almost Quit Being a Pastor, Part 2

Shane Idleman shares the second half of his testimony here, noting:

By 2024 I had reached a tipping point: I did not want to pastor anymore and I wasn’t sure why. Looking back, I don’t believe that wanting to throw in the towel had to do with stress as much as discouragement.

Make sure to listen to both parts regarding how he broke through and found the joy of his calling once again.

Shane Idleman is the founder and lead pastor of Westside Christian Fellowship in Southern California and the creator of the WCF Radio Network. His program, Regaining Lost Ground, points us back to God and reminds us that although times change, truth does not. His books, blogs, and sermons can all be found at ShaneIdleman.com.

Editor’s Note: The transcript that follows was automatically generated and lightly edited, so please be aware there could be typos or other small errors. The Stream is working toward a transcription service that does fast, accurate, and reliable work; thank you in advance for your patience!

00:00:00:01 – 00:00:21:12
All right, everyone excited about this next podcast here. I just recorded one talking about a difficult experience I went through as a pastor and wanting to quit. And I know a lot of pastors obviously struggle with that as well. But there is hope. There’s light, light at the end of the tunnel. And, I’ll be sharing more about that as the weeks and months progress.

00:00:21:12 – 00:00:57:19
But yesterday I actually talked about three things that, really helped get me off, back on track. And again, we’re featuring or I was featuring a book if we can. And the good thing about these books is they are available as free downloads at our church website, website, Christian fellowship.org and all my books are there is free downloads and this one will really help as well for men, young men as well as those who are even 60, 70, 80 years old, we can never, we’re never too old to regain lost ground and get back on track.

00:00:57:19 – 00:01:15:22
The fourth thing, let me talk about the first three things real quick that in recap and this is this is good for everybody, not just pastors, anybody in leadership, men, women. So yesterday I talked about, you know, I had to make as a pastor, I hit a, I hit a I hit a wall. I was in a funk.

00:01:15:23 – 00:01:34:09
There’s no other way to describe it. I don’t want to record podcast. I don’t think I’ve recorded a podcast in six months. But during that time, and just now starting to get back into that, it was pretty recent. I’m recording this now. It’s it’s pretty recent. I’m so going through, you know, some of the, the things as far as getting back on track spiritually and emotionally.

00:01:34:09 – 00:02:04:12
And the good news is my marriage was never healthier. My relationship with the kids was never better. So thank God the family life wasn’t really suffering. But I was in a funk about, just my calling and sticking with it. And, you know, is the Lord going to redirect me? You know, after your dreams die, over a season of time or a period of time, and you’re praying and it just seems like, you know, years and years go by health issues that I, opened up about, in the future as well, and I did on the other podcasts.

00:02:04:14 – 00:02:33:07
Just disappointment, discouragement. And then, of course, pastoring. You are, in a huge, huge spiritual battle. It’s funny, I just got an email yesterday from our webmaster. They said, I have never worked with any other client and not even close, whose, website is, is attacked, you know, with malware or, trying to access it. It’s just, you know, so ironic, but, so it’s just weighing on me, and I didn’t want to preach.

00:02:33:07 – 00:02:48:16
And it’s hard when a preacher doesn’t want to preach. I didn’t want to teach. I didn’t want to go to church. I’m like, Lord, help me. And I just listen to worship for hours in the morning. 3 a.m. to 6 a.m.. All right. Guess I got to get going with my day and, you know, just just it was a very difficult season.

00:02:48:17 – 00:03:16:23
But looking back, I know God takes us through things. So now we can look back and help others. And there were some areas I was in disobedience and I knew it. I was convicted, for quite a while, and I opened up about that on the other podcast. I go back and listen for more details. I think it’s called why I almost Quit, why I almost quit, and, basically it was, getting my body in alignment, more so to with, with what God wanted to do.

00:03:17:00 – 00:03:35:01
Health, nutrition, fasting. But I was consuming too much, throughout the whole day. I mean, I don’t I think I ate from, you know, 5 a.m. to seven, eight at night. No, no fasting window or anything. And I know better, of course. And because of that, I was putting on weight becoming very sluggish. And, just it was hard.

00:03:35:01 – 00:03:54:14
Even caffeine again gained a stronghold. And I’ve opened up about that before, about that in the past. I know not everyone is open to that, and that’s okay. God deals with us in different ways, but for me it’s a it’s a drug. It’s a central nervous stimulant. So I was just, you know, still, you know, looking to that to get some energy and, you know, you’re robbing Peter to pay Paul.

00:03:54:14 – 00:04:21:23
We could get in, you know, to, how it blocks, it actually blocks the, the, the receptor for adenosine. And then you don’t feel sleepy, but then eventually you crash and and so I knew it. Plus, I was addicted to it. And, believe it or not, I’ve heard from people all over the world, over the last couple of years on how our teachings have helped them, restructure their life and especially getting off caffeine, or at least minimizing it because we use it as a drug throughout the whole day.

00:04:21:23 – 00:04:39:20
And that’s unhealthy. Take it to the Lord, man, I don’t feel much. I fall right asleep. Well, you don’t get good sleep at all because it affects your your rapid eye movement, your REM. It’s just constantly keeping your body in a state of fight and flight. You’re irritable more easily, you’re anxious, more irritable. Depression. I mean, there’s tons of research for those who are interested.

00:04:39:20 – 00:04:57:02
You can even look at the manual for mental disorders that they use, and it talks about caffeine induced. Think so. Anyway, I’ve, I talked a lot about that. Every time I talk about this, this topic, mad people get convicted I enjoy it. Well, good for you. Good for you. I’ve never said a person shouldn’t, but are you getting upset because you’re convicted?

00:04:57:02 – 00:05:10:22
Because people who are convicted don’t get upset. They’re like, well, I enjoy one now and then or in the morning. And a if it works for you, good for you. And maybe I will in the morning a little bit, you know, but definitely not later in the day. And switching over to my, green tea was real helpful too, but consuming too much.

00:05:10:22 – 00:05:34:20
And God was dealing with me and I’m a I’m an extreme person. Okay. My wife knows this. Like, if I’m going too fast, it’s water only. Now I’m fasting. And even if I have a little bit of food or a little bit of juice, it’s like, oh, I’m not really fasting and looking for that perfection. But God has taught me over the years, that it’s really not about perfection, it’s about direction.

00:05:34:20 – 00:05:53:18
And I believe I got that quote from John MacArthur 20 years ago and such a great point. I would you know, I blew it. What happened? I had some I had a handful of nuts. Oh, forget it. Now it’s I get back on track. And so what he taught me through this is the scriptures just came alive.

00:05:53:18 – 00:06:15:00
I couldn’t stop writing them down on discipline. Like I’d be reading Proverbs. When you find some honey, just have enough to to meet your need. It’s like you’re you’re you’re famished. You’re you’re this. And you just have enough. Don’t don’t gorge. And then, you know, a man who doesn’t rule his his his, his, life like discipline, is like a city with broken down walls.

00:06:15:00 – 00:06:35:22
Boom. And then I discipline my body, Paul said. I bring it into subjection. Boom. And then there’s about three other ones, that we’re talking about. Oh, making no provision for the flesh, disciplining ourselves. A couple other ones in Proverbs that were that were so important. And so I realized that I was lacking discipline in that area.

00:06:35:22 – 00:06:56:07
And so once I began to be able to begin to shore that up and, I did go into even as I’m recording this, actually, I’m in a season of fasting where it’s just a very minimal amount, and I feel so great. My energy is so good. Something like the book and Heimer. Well, Jimmy. Well, Jimmy clinic in Germany, or Doctor Paul Roberts.

00:06:56:07 – 00:07:15:11
Incredible book. Fasting and a Gluttonous World. Fasting in a gluttonous world is very eye opening. I highly encourage it. He recommends more of five 600 calories a day. I’m getting on a rabbit trail, so I hope it’s going to be helpful. He’s more around five 600 calories a day. When he helped a lot of people with obesity and his was mainly keto, where bacon heimer is mainly juice.

00:07:15:11 – 00:07:37:12
The reason is book and Hymer for 100 years they’ve done this. What happens when you have just a minimal amount of juice? Supposedly you do stay in in autophagy and ketosis because it’s only 250 calories for the whole day, but they’re trying to get, mTOR to, to, to decrease mTOR, the mammalian target of rapamycin I’ve talked about before.

00:07:37:17 – 00:08:02:17
And they’re seeing that an increase in mTOR, also an increase in IGF one, insulin like growth factor one, are are are leading to cancer, more so in disease. And so is that. And so this type of fasting decreases mTOR. So it’s very good for health and longevity. But then Doctor Paul in his thought process which I agreed depends on what you’re looking for is getting the body in ketosis.

00:08:02:17 – 00:08:24:23
So if you have five 600 calories the whole day, try it. It’s it’s no joke. Trust me. You’re keeping that body in ketosis. You’re not throwing in the glucose. That could knock you out of autophagy. And even that blood sugar level rising and insulin and and it’s really good. But it depends on what your goals are. For me, I kind of go back and forth, and I like it’s a kind of a mixture of, of of both of what I’m doing.

00:08:25:03 – 00:08:43:10
You know, if I just get a man, I can’t. I got a, I get a next hour, I’ve got a, I’ve got a busy schedule. I feel like laying down stick of grass fed beef jerky, 60 calories. Boom. Really helps. So I hope these rabbit trails help because I had no idea to speak on that. But I do know this we underrate just how important our health is.

00:08:43:10 – 00:09:04:00
We really do your job. You really, really care about it. Trust me, as you get older, and we’re seeing all this, this rise of disease, all this rise of, of, of of of obesity, obesity. I don’t even I don’t even know what the numbers are anymore. 70%, adults. And it’s just increasing. So, I feel God wants me to really get this message out to people.

00:09:04:00 – 00:09:22:00
How important this is, how long I’ll be doing it. I don’t know, that’s up to him. But as pastors, we often don’t talk about this, and we love to use that verse out of context. Hey, brother, don’t you know that bodily exercise profits you little. It’s godly exercise. You know how many times I’ve had that verse thrown in my face?

00:09:22:06 – 00:09:40:01
And, I’ve opened up about this before. For the first ten years of our church plant. I used to be actually a motivational speaker, and I would talk on health and fitness, and I study with the National Academy of Sports Medicine. Never, never got a degree from them. And back then it was a lot about accelerate results.

00:09:40:01 – 00:09:59:02
And, you know, back then creatine was just coming on the scene, you know, eating five meals a day. The type of resistance training, hit training, which is high intensity interval training and lots of things. There’s a there was a really at the core training was coming in as far as strengthen your core, and so many other things.

00:09:59:02 – 00:10:16:01
And I just, I wanted to bring that into, you know, the church too. And but people are they we keep saying the scriptures and, you know, things like that and like, okay, kind of got defeated about it. But it was the irony is it was always the people who were out of shape. And they like being out of shape, and they like their junk food.

00:10:16:01 – 00:10:36:04
They were the ones who were always lecturing me. And I eventually realized that, so I eventually brought it back into the church, and just begin to weave weaving into some of my sermons, have some health seminars. And the irony is the feedback we get, you know, if you know, if you follow the ministry, we get lots of feedback from people all over it.

00:10:36:04 – 00:10:55:07
Just just recently, the UK, Canada, Africa and just but one of the biggest things that people say is how much the ministry has helped them with health and fitness and fasting. We just had another, couple people, actually, we’re traveled out here from different states because of that topic. It’s like, okay, this is this is a big deal.

00:10:55:09 – 00:11:18:00
So back to that scripture doesn’t mean it does it? It just says physical exercise when compared to spiritual disciplines. It is a second place. It’s a nothing because the physical realm is gone. It’s the spiritual that matters. Now, to say that doesn’t apply now as far as well. But he did say prophets a little, prophets a little now physically, because you can lead your family better.

00:11:18:00 – 00:11:43:03
Can you imagine, husbands, if you took better care of yourself and you weren’t snapping at your kids, you weren’t craving alcohol or food, and you weren’t getting sloppy and laying around a lot. And and that’s what’s happening. You know, the deadbeat dad. And again, I can struggle with these things myself. So I’m not I’m not casting stones and I’m not pointing fingers, you know, I know there’s fingers pointing back at me, but your health, changes how you raise your kids the energy you have with your kids.

00:11:43:03 – 00:11:59:06
You can go shoot basketball with them, play baseball with them. You know, you have more energy. It’s incredible when you discipline your body. So if you can’t fast, consider just a minimal caloric intake. Good man. Last night on my wife, I got 8 to 8 at night because you get real tired. Easier to eight til two in the morning.

00:11:59:08 – 00:12:19:22
Just out. Didn’t even get up and then went back to sleep for an hour or two. But just you should feel so much better. Not to mention that. Is your marriage better? Absolutely. Pastor, are you preaching better? Absolutely. Because the king stomach has been dethroned. And as a result, the discipline, the discipline results in the filling of the Holy Spirit.

00:12:19:22 – 00:12:37:14
If you do teachings on how to be filled, the spirit, of course, humbleness, meekness, brokenness. But all of those things take discipline as you’re disciplining your flesh. The byproduct is being felt, the spirit. So it took me about 13 minutes to get to this point. But, that was that was one of the things I talked about.

00:12:37:14 – 00:13:05:00
I had to change this aspect of my life because I was just, you know, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing, expecting different results. And, that was not happening. I was stuck once I got my health back on track, and I was having some health issues, as I was getting older, and I’m still in the process of losing some weight, you’ll probably see here in future recordings, that, you know, 215 I was out now, probably 2 or 3.

00:13:05:06 – 00:13:23:18
And so I want to get keep getting to a healthy weight and hopefully maintain that. Again, it’s not about weight. I, I’m if I would feel fine and everything was fine, I’d just stay here. But it’s when you lessen that weight, it really helps. Also, did you know that for every 1 pound and I’ve been having knee issues that are completely gone for every 1 pound, you lose it.

00:13:23:18 – 00:13:50:14
Actually it takes away 4 pounds of pressure. Just let that sink in for a minute. Oh my knee. Oh there’s oh my back. For every pound you lose it takes away 4 pounds of pressure. You can research it. Studies have come out. PubMed probably talks about as well I’m sure National Academy sports medicine other places. But let’s just say you know what you get on track and man you lost 20 pounds.

00:13:50:20 – 00:14:12:07
20 pounds. That’s 80 pounds less pressure. Jogging might happen again. I actually prefer walking over jogging. I think that’s how we are designed. I’m going to do another podcast on this, but when it comes to health, fitness, fasting, what type of exercise? You know, red light therapy, cold plunge, heat saunas, hydration in my water. How much water?

00:14:12:12 – 00:14:30:02
You know, if you if you just look it through a creation lens, you’ll it’ll answer a lot of your questions. What diet is best I hear keto this I hear plant based. And I’ve talked about all that. You know I’ll feature that book. Oh maybe this one you can download for free to that’s actually I wrote that when I was coming out of, 24 Hour Fitness.

00:14:30:04 – 00:14:47:04
But, what diet? And we get so confused. And if you’re like me, you get confused and you over analyze and it paralyzes you. When we’re confused, we don’t. Well, if this isn’t going to work, I want to do this. I’m eating too many carbs. Trust me. Don’t worry. Don’t. You don’t have to worry about this stuff. If you look at through the lens of creation, how did God create?

00:14:47:09 – 00:15:09:18
What did he create me to have that sweet potato now and then? Absolutely. But there might be a season where you need to minimize glucose and and carbs. Maybe just veggies and meat and, Hokkaido raw dairy, if you can get it and things like that. So how did God create us? What type of diet? God given food initially, we were designed to eat, vegetables, and then he allowed meat.

00:15:09:20 – 00:15:25:20
And then within that he gave the land over milk and honey and curds, which curds is dairy and but but it’s got to be clean. It’s got to be in moderation. That’s really the key. And then should I do should I cold plunge. Sure. Absolutely. If you want to go for it, just don’t get crazy about it. Should I do red light therapy?

00:15:25:22 – 00:15:47:11
If you want. You know, there’s no I mean, the sun’s better. The sun’s vitamin D, and I truly believe that the sun doesn’t necessarily cause cancer. It’s our our our own immunity that allows the cancer to, to, to penetrate. So exercise. What type of exercise creation were we created to, to jog or walk? Of course. Walk more.

00:15:47:11 – 00:16:03:08
Now if you want to jog. Great sprints. Running’s actually good. I can’t do any more. Maybe in the future. I mean, you can just you can just keep going. Endless. How much water? I mean, that’s a I just posted something caused a little bit of debate there. I mean, I’ve always thought like, why force why, why do I have to drink this gallon of water?

00:16:03:10 – 00:16:20:03
You know, I mean, this is like, oh, this is going to be tough. Now, if you’re dehydrated, you need to do it. That’s fine. But if you’re eating, a lot of, you know, let’s say fruit, veggies, the water from that comes the water from those things. You get water, you fine. But I was like, well, how was I created, you know, to walk?

00:16:20:03 – 00:16:39:07
There’s a, there’s a stream. You take some in from the stream and maybe you fill a little thing, your little wineskin there. Hopefully there’s no wine in there and you might need another hour. And, and I’ve always thought that, like, do we have to drink that much water? Is it really hydrating our cells because our cells are going to only hold, so much, so much water.

00:16:39:09 – 00:17:01:13
And, then I also know that water, actually, when you’re fasting, you’re not supposed to drink a lot of water you think you are. But the more water, the more the electrolytes are flushed out. And you actually need the electrolytes potassium, magnesium, sodium, chlorine, chlorine. And, you need these. And so if the water is flushing it out, you’re losing electrolytes, you become sick, you get heart palpitations, and it’s not good.

00:17:01:13 – 00:17:19:09
So you just you just want just enough water that the body, you know, is desiring, creation. So again, look at creation. Don’t worry. I’m getting here. I’m getting here, I’m getting here. This I. Why don’t you email us or comment that these rabbit trails are helping? Because I have a feeling they are so got my health under check.

00:17:19:09 – 00:17:35:06
And then I said, you know what, Lord? Even if I don’t feel like it, that was number one. Number two, even if I don’t feel like it, which was rarely did I feel like it. I would and praise God, you know, just a shout out to, our associate pastor, Pastor Abraham, who actually went through this with me.

00:17:35:06 – 00:17:50:07
He didn’t he didn’t really know about it. I shared maybe a little bit. It was it wasn’t really want to, you know, let the elders know. Just exactly what I was. I mean, other than I said, hey, difficult season right now, health issues. And, you know, because I didn’t want alarm anybody because I know I couldn’t quit.

00:17:50:07 – 00:18:08:11
Obviously, when God calls you, that’s the anchor. That’s the anchor that keeps you there. And so he was very flexible, helped out a lot. And so number two was no matter how I felt, I said, you know what? I’ve got to get back to preaching. And I would try to just, you know, guest speaker or have him handle a lot and just, you know, I’m like, well, but the Lord’s called me to do that.

00:18:08:11 – 00:18:27:13
Like, if he’s gifted me in that area, even though some people don’t prefer my style, that’s fine. I know others do. And God designs us differently. So don’t beat up your pastor if he doesn’t preach like, like Isaiah and Jeremiah, right? He’s this different calling. Thank God for them if they’re steadfast and in the word. Look at that.

00:18:27:13 – 00:18:44:00
So I said, you know what? I’m going to show up and I’m going to preach, God help me. And I can’t tell you how many Wednesdays I remember. Sundays I remember we’re just the Spirit of God would just come upon the message and it would be incredible. And I thank God for doing it. And then back on Monday, I’d be in that district.

00:18:44:03 – 00:19:07:01
That discouragement again. And I think a lot of it had to do with that. I really can’t put the pieces together. So do this, do this, do this. I’m just sure Mike experience. So once I just begin to do that, I was like, okay. And then the next thing was, you know, Lord, wherever you’ve called me, wherever you’ve called me, whatever you want to do, let’s say our church shrinks, so many people I can’t I won’t even get it.

00:19:07:01 – 00:19:25:10
How many people moved out California that talk about discouraging? I mean, at this point, I don’t even have a number. But I know we are at 200 people from our church moved, three years ago, so. And it’s a monthly occurrence. So we’re probably if I were to just guess, I mean, if you count their kids and stuff, I mean, then you’re, you know what?

00:19:25:10 – 00:19:49:16
You’re way over that. But I would say. Yeah, I mean, maybe let’s count the family, the kids, the spouses, you know, probably if I were just a guess, I’d say 500, 500 people have moved from our church. But praise the Lord. Our our attendance is it’s it’s exactly. It’s maintained completely. And so, you know, God, you know, I’ve obviously, still brings people, but that was discouraging.

00:19:49:16 – 00:20:05:11
Just having friends leave, future elders leave, deacons leave, and just people very close to you. And it can really, really is wearing on me. So, that final point, I said, you know what, Lord, these people are moving. And of course, people, you know, you should move to Idaho, you should move to Texas, you should move to Florida.

00:20:05:11 – 00:20:23:22
You should, you know, Nashville, Tennessee. Man. Church. That would be great there. Westside Christian Fellowship Nashville. And my you know what this. But why why why would I want to leave I love California to I it’s like my you know, everything we read about in the news, we got to be very careful. Because I’ll read about, you know, what happens at a gas station, right?

00:20:23:22 – 00:20:39:09
You see it online, like, okay, kids in Morgan, you never go to the gas station. Let me fill up your cars, and then you see something. Look what happened outside of a Walmart parking lot or target parking lot. They’re waiting for them. Okay, no, we go shopping. You’ll let me do the shopping. And so it’s it’s it’s ridiculous because we’re not trusting God.

00:20:39:11 – 00:20:59:11
So I said, Lord, whatever you want to do, whether this, this, you know, if we get down to one service, if I die here, Hey, Lord, I’m so thankful for where you brought me and what you brought me through. I should be, dead. I should be buried in a cemetery. I shouldn’t even be experiencing this.

00:20:59:11 – 00:21:16:06
God, I there’s so much I did in my 20s, even that I just can’t believe it. That I’m so ashamed. Us. Lord. Thank you. I just want to be thankful for wherever you put me. Whatever happens at the church, if I preach it down to one service. God, I know as long as I say humble and broken, not arrogant.

00:21:16:06 – 00:21:32:19
God, it’s your. It’s. You’re my life. Here, take it with me. Take it. Take my life. And, whatever you want to do with it. And you know, because during this time, I’ve got a friend of mine planted to church, you know, a half mile a mile from my house, another friend, you know, over in another area of town that I have a passion for.

00:21:32:19 – 00:21:49:18
It’s like, you know, wow, Lord, are we going to plant another church somewhere, too? And, and so just, you know, you just kind of that reality that God get you to that spot of brokenness. And so those three things really help. Here’s the fourth thing I didn’t talk about, which I would say probably is at the top of the list, obviously.

00:21:49:19 – 00:22:14:08
And it goes along with the others, for sure. And that point is, seek him no matter what’s going on. Seek him no matter how you feel. Seek him regardless of the distractions and the discouragement. Seek him and you will find him. And so, through all this, what I love is, I never lost my way to the altar, necessarily.

00:22:14:10 – 00:22:35:18
But. And I never, you know, was thinking of, of, you know, walking away in regard to character and godly disciplines and things. I just the role of pastor. But that the what I shared earlier every morning, you know, it’s 3:00, 330 putting on worship and just pressing and God, I don’t feel like it, but Lord, I’m going to seek you all of my heart.

00:22:35:18 – 00:22:57:07
And just that pursuit, that pursuit turned into a passion. And it was interesting because I’m like, even though all this is happening, oh, I love this relationship. And I’m, I’m seeking. It’s almost like if I could explain it in terms, you might understand, it was almost like God was was holding me through this challenge. It’s like, son, I’ve got you.

00:22:57:09 – 00:23:20:10
There’s some things I need you to work on, and as soon as you work on them, this load will be lifted and that’s it. But, Lord, I have this load, and I. It’s hard for me to do these things again. Everything I just talked about the last 20 minutes, especially with in regard to health and fasting and things and but Lord, I need and it was just but he was just kind of waiting for me.

00:23:20:12 – 00:23:38:04
Those who wait upon the Lord also shall renew their strength. But I also believe I truly believe this often we’re waiting on God. But could it be that he is waiting on you? I mean, that’s a biblical principle. I mean, if we had time to break that one down, if you do this, I will do this. If you do this, I will do this.

00:23:38:04 – 00:23:58:04
If you do this and that word seek, I’ve talked about this before. The word seek is it’s not just like, oh yeah, I looked for my glasses. No, it’s like looking for your lost child. That is a type of seeking that the word breaks down into. In the Hebrew. It’s what it means actually is I’m going to keep looking for this until I find it.

00:23:58:10 – 00:24:16:15
So you lose your child, the more you’re not going to try for, you know, we. Hey, we try for 15, 20 minutes, you know, go to the sheriff’s department. We’re good. We try for 20 minutes. No, you’re it’s that’s your your life. That that’s your life from that day forward. That’s your life. So how much more the believer seeking in that context?

00:24:16:15 – 00:24:36:02
Lord, this is my life. Regardless of how I feel, regardless of the distractions and the pain, the disappointment, the bitterness, my loved one passed away or this is happening like Jobe though he slay me yet why trust him? And boy that seeking gave me the strength to preach a sermon that’s seeking. Help me stay right on the like.

00:24:36:02 – 00:24:54:05
All this stuff’s going on in me. But that seeking was what kept me on the right path, what actually filled me with joy in the midst of some of this. So it was interesting. I’d have so much joy sometimes. I’m worshiping. I just didn’t want to go to church. I didn’t want to preach. I don’t want to pastoring where it’s like, I don’t understand the dichotomy there.

00:24:54:05 – 00:25:12:05
But it was, it was very interesting. And of course, looking back now, I explained this in the last podcast, once all this happened, God said, okay, it’s like a reset, basically was a reset. Okay, now I want you to go, you know, share a lot of this with other pastors. I’m like, what? You know, how’s that going to happen?

00:25:12:05 – 00:25:31:15
And then I get an email speaking engagement, you know, down the southern, Southern California. Then I get another one comes in and from in Ohio, to a large gathering there and, I yeah, I don’t remember exactly where Columbus. And then, another email about how, you know, God’s going to use this and just, and really seeing that.

00:25:31:15 – 00:25:51:15
Okay. He brought me through so I can help other people. Not just pastors, anybody. I mean, you can be encouraged by any of this. He brought me through so I can help you as well in these four areas. I think these four areas are critical. I think they go together, try three of them while giving into gluttony and just eating whatever you want.

00:25:51:16 – 00:26:13:01
Not much sleep, not care about your body. It won’t work. The physical effects of spiritual. What I mean by that is how I take care of my physical effects, my spiritual, even medication. If you’re on certain medications that that trip you up, that will that can affect your spiritual health. I mean, you name it, I mean, just just they’re interwoven.

00:26:13:01 – 00:26:42:15
I don’t want to get deep into stuff that’s not biblical. But if you look, at the biblically speaking, to the more you discipline your body, make no provision for the flesh. Say no. Resist Satan. Flee that that, that that, I guess that those choices, those physical choices lead to spiritual benefits. I because joy always follows discipline.

00:26:42:18 – 00:27:02:13
So the more you discipline yourself, the more joy will follow. Not being legalistic, not being rigid because we can go right into Pharisee mode, right? Like I just explained earlier, I’m not really fasting unless it’s water, only biblically speaking. When it talks about fasting, that’s what I mean. The actually the Hebrew word, I did a deep word study on this before and looked at all the different references.

00:27:02:13 – 00:27:18:16
I think 77 times in the, in the new, in the Old Testament, in the different situations, except for, I think, other than Daniel. And that really wasn’t a fast that’s Daniel chose not to to eat of the king’s delicacies. It’s a great thing to do if God calls you to do it. But fasting is shutting the mouth.

00:27:18:18 – 00:27:38:17
Shut your mouth, you shut your mouth, and nothing comes in. So biblically speaking, fasting is just having water. Because water does not, is not an alarm. It it doesn’t entice us. It’s just a necessity. So I believe you can still have water and that’s why I said Jesus hungered. He didn’t thirst. He he hunger. So anyway, hope that helps.

00:27:38:17 – 00:27:52:15
Again, you’ve got to do that. You got to seek God regardless of what you’re going through. And then you gotta say, Lord. And what that did is it gave me a thankful heart. Number two here, I’m going to tell you when I said, Lord, wherever you want to put me, however you want to use me, you know I’m good.

00:27:52:17 – 00:28:15:12
Thankfulness came in thankfulness. Thankful, thankful. And that that the fruit of that is incredible. Because what’s the opposite? Thankfulness. Bitter, bitter and depressed. And then the next thing was obviously, fulfilling my duties as a pastor, regardless of how I felt, you know, because God says, I’ve called you to do this, they’re going, do it. Don’t go and do it.

00:28:15:12 – 00:28:32:22
I know it’s tough. I know you’re not. You’re going through it right now. Go and do it. So and I got my lymph nodes were swollen a little bit. So, you know I’ve wanted to do it for some health reasons as well because fasting when you get deep, into it will begin to consume that those tissues that, that are not relevant.

00:28:32:22 – 00:28:48:11
So anyway, that was another side note. And then of course, you know, the the fourth thing after I just said of, I’m going to do what I need to do regardless of how I feel, man, maybe that’s good for you. Be a man, be a father, be a husband, regardless of how you feel. Turn off the TV.

00:28:48:13 – 00:29:09:16
Tell the friends that are dragging you down to hit the road. Jack, don’t ever come back. Focus on your spiritual disciplines and God will reward that even even when you don’t feel like it. I’ll just. I’ll just be honest. Most of the time you’re not going to feel like it. The fourth thing was getting that physical and checking those physical appetites under the discipline of the Holy Spirit.