Dear Students,

Wednesday morning, the nation’s eyes were on you as you walked out of school to protest gun violence. Not just a few of you or a few hundred — but thousands.

As someone who was once a politically passionate teen, let me say this: the influence you hold at this moment is enviable. Students marching, protesting, and writing letters to newspapers for causes they care about is nothing new. But most teenage activists can only dream of the kind of momentum your movement has right now.

I’m not writing today to talk about the particulars of the debate, or whether I agree with the list of demands many of you carry. I’ve already expressed my opinion on the matter. Right now, I want to share some humble advice, as a friend and fellow former activist — or, at least, an activist wannabe. I hope you’ll take a few minutes to listen.

Be Open-Minded

This idea is nothing new to you. Your generation was raised to value voices of the marginalized, the minority. Be thankful — it wasn’t always like that. But a problem with modern society is the tendency to block out opposing viewpoints. To assume anyone who doesn’t share your politics is evil. To think they have nothing relevant to say.

Don’t fall into this trap. You can have firm convictions, but also a soft heart. One willing to listen to someone who thinks differently. One that seeks to understand those who come from a different place.

What’s in it for you? You’ll see more progress in your cause than if you resort to browbeating. Why? People like people who listen to them. And if you take the time to understand them, they may just take the time to understand you.

Take Nothing at Face Value

You shouldn’t be afraid to question the ideology in which you were raised. Question your parents’ politics. Question your mentors’ beliefs. Heck, question the historic and modern-day heroes you hope to emulate.

You don’t have to be disrespectful. Your parents and mentors raised you the way they believed to be right. But if you want your convictions to stand the test of time, you have to believe what you believe because you believe it. Not because your parents, teacher or hero told you to.

What’s in it for you? When someone questions your beliefs, you won’t be stuck saying, “Because my parents said so!” You’ll be able to give an actual answer, really know what you’re talking about, and be a lot more influential.

Know It’s OK to Change

Guess what? If you’re open-minded, think critically about ideas and stay in the fight for any length of time, you’ll change your mind on something. You may not make a complete 180, but chances are your views will at least become more nuanced. That’s OK. It means you’re learning new things and growing as a person.

As a teen, I spoke at political rallies, argued with my classmates about issues, and wrote frequent newspaper columns about my political beliefs. A decade later, many of my views have developed. I haven’t done a complete 180. My faith and general political philosophy are still the same. But I understand issues — and people — better now.

So I may not share every blog post from those days, but I’m not ashamed that I was active then. I know it came from a sincere place of caring about my country. Neither am I ashamed about the areas where I’ve changed my mind, or grown into a new understanding. Because it comes from the same place of caring about my country, and wanting to know its people better.

What’s in it for you? Well, opinions are bound to change at least a little overtime. Acknowledging that now will cause a lot less stressing out on your part down the road!

Befriend People You Disagree With

This may be the most important point. It goes along with my first suggestion, to be open-minded. But it’s a lot more personal.

In today’s highly divisive climate, it’s easy to forget that the “other side” is human. If you get to know some of them — not just talk to them or read their op-eds, but really get to know them — it will be a lot harder to forget that. It will prevent our political debates and cultural conversations from devolving into an ugly bully fest.

So when your current friend does a political 180, or you meet a human being who thinks differently than you, don’t back away. Stand there, reach out your hand, and reintroduce civility into your sphere of influence.

What’s in it for you? A lot more friends, for one! A constant reminder of your own humanity and theirs, for another. And politically speaking, a lot more progress.

So that’s my advice. I wish I had taken these points to heart sooner. But I’m thankful that over time, I encountered real-life people who challenged my beliefs, changed my mind and exemplified civility. Eventually, you will be too.