Spooky! Imagine What CNBC Would Have Asked in the Canceled 3rd Hour of the GOP Debate?

By Al Perrotta Published on October 31, 2015

Fallout continues from the CNBC boondoggle of a debate Wednesday night. The Republican National Committee has booted NBC from participation in a scheduled debate in February, accusing NBC’s sister network of acting in “bad faith.” NBC said it would work in “good faith” to resolve “this matter.”

Really? How’s the Peacock network going to resolve “this matter” of ingrained media bias when they couldn’t even manage to stage a good version of Peter Pan?

The GOP candidates themselves are so mad at the RNC for subjecting them to the CNBC smugfest that their campaigns are holding a war council Sunday night to plot ways to seize control of the debate process. There’s even talk they’re considering asking Glenn Beck to moderate a debate. Love him or not, who wouldn’t butter up a bowl of popcorn to watch that one?

It isn’t just Republicans who are in an uproar over CNBC. Late Show host and proud liberal Stephen Colbert delivered a brutal take-down of their effort, calling it “unburdened by a shred of respect.” And that from a guy who interrogated Ted Cruz a couple weeks back like he was Jack Bauer.

The Third Hour

What’s forgotten amid the chorus of boos and splatter of rotten tomatoes is that CNBC originally wanted the debate to be three hours long. It’s scary to think what other questions those moderators had in mind for that extra hour. Well, fine. It’s Halloween weekend. Let’s go ahead and scare ourselves imagining the unlucky 13 additional questions CNBC would have asked:

  1. “We started hour one by asking ‘What’s your biggest weakness?’ We start hour three with this: ‘Aren’t you just a waste of oxygen?'”
  2. “You’ve each emphasized the need to give money to rich people. What? Yes, by cutting their taxes. Talk about which poor struggling mothers and children you plan to rob to give that money to the 1 percent. Please provide names and photographs of these flesh-and-blood human beings.”
  3. “Earlier we asked about fantasy football. Let’s turn to mixed-martial arts. Show of hands. How many think Ronda Rousey is pound-for-pound the best fighter ever? No. Doesn’t that make the lot of you sexist?”
  4. “Related question. When will you concede you’ve lost your war on women?”
  5. “Mr. Trump, you say you are a conservative. On season five of Celebrity Apprentice, you chose to hire Arsenio Hall over Clay Aiken. How hard was it to chose between your racism and your homophobia?”
  6. “Dr. Carson, there was a movie made about your life. Aren’t you insensitive for exploiting your impoverished background for personal gain?”
  7. “Governor Christie, why should the American citizens be forced to worry that you’re going to keel over from a heart attack in the Oval Office because you have no self control when it comes to your diet?”
  8. “Carly. You’re a woman. A Republican. A conservative. A millionaire.  Aren’t you just ashamed?!?!”
  9. “Senator Rubio, Jeb Bush has been your mentor. Knows a lot about you, right? His campaign suggests there is something in your background that would disqualify you for president. Meanwhile, Harry Reid says you’re another John Edwards. So, tell us, Senator, how long have you been cheating on your cancer-stricken wife?”
  10. “Back to economics. Is Khloe Kardashian calling off her divorce and sticking with Lamar Odom harmful or helpful to the Kardashian brand? And if you don’t know the answer, explain why you’re so out of touch with the daily concerns of the common man.”
  11. “Senator Cruz, nobody in Washington likes you. (Elongated Pause) … Now, moving on to Baptist pastor Mike Huckabee …
  12. “Pastor Huckabee, 95% of Americans … at least the ones we know … think Kentucky clerk Kay Davis is a hateful, bigoted, simple-minded hayseed rube whose … What’s that? “Kim Davis”? Sure, whatever. Kim Davis. Anyway, the consensus is that her slavish devotion to her phantom sky god makes her a perfect candidate for a strait-jacket. Doesn’t your support of her disqualify you for any role in public life?”
  13. “Finally, in these last moments, you want to stop Hillary Clinton from smashing through the ultimate glass ceiling. Talk a little about why you hate Chelsea’s mother and so very much love the glass ceiling, unequal pay and putting Big Brother in charge of ovaries all across America.”

The scariest thing? We have another year of this media madness to go.

Hillary Clinton, Little Monsters and Scary Thoughts

Meanwhile, what is haunting Hillary this Halloween? I wonder if it was a moment in Wednesday night’s debate. We hear a lot of talk that the Hillary campaign is most worried about Marco Rubio because he’s young, fresh, from the battle state of Florida and can syphon off the Hispanic vote. But that’s not what’s really frightening. Remember when Jeb attacked Marco’s attendance record in the Senate and Rubio turned the tables?

 

Rubio absolutely eviscerated Bush, and without even raising his voice. “That’s what he did to his beloved mentor,” she has to be thinking, “What the heck would he do to me?”

Actually, Hillary has something fresh to worry about this Halloween. Last night it was revealed that controversial pop star Lady Gaga has Hillary Clinton’s personal email address. How scary is it that Lady Gaga has direct access to Hillary, but Ambassador Chris Stevens did not?

Hillary’s camp will likely say the two became BFF’s during Lady Gaga’s admirable fight against bullying. But it’ll be fun to see if Hillary admits she’s a fan of Gaga. Lady Gaga’s fans are called “Little Monsters.”

 

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