The Importance of Biblical Fatherhood

After being a dad for 11 years and recently welcoming a third child into this world, I’ve begun to meditate on all the ups and downs that fatherhood entails. Like many in the Church, I didn’t grow up seeing the best example of godly fatherhood. So after years of trying to unlearn what the world taught me, I’ve been able to relearn what it means to be a dad from a biblical perspective.

Through Jesus Christ, God has revealed Himself not as a distant, emotionless dictator, but a loving, intimate Father. Jesus even called the Father “Abba,” equivalent to our modern “papa.” Being a father means emulating God’s fatherly character and obeying the guidelines set out in His Word.

In what follows, we’ll explore some of the key cornerstones of biblical fatherhood.

Be the Spiritual Leader of Your Home

Statistics tell us that when a child is the first one to find faith in the family, about 5% of the time, the rest of the family will follow. If a mother is the first, the rest of the family will follow 22% of the time. But if the father of the home is the first one to find faith, 93% of the time, the whole family will follow. This is why it’s so vital for fathers to demonstrate a godly example because they have a greater impact than anyone on the faith of those in their households. God calls fathers to be the spiritual leaders, the pastors, of their homes. This means instilling God’s Word in their children and setting the right example. Their faith has the power to steer the rest of the family into life; conversely, their refusal to obey God’s Word can have a disastrous effect on the family’s direction.

“And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” (Joshua 14:15)

“And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” (Deuteronomy 6:6-7)

Provide For Your Household

Today family structures and values are shifting, and it’s increasingly common for both parents to work — but God has designed it so that father will always have the primary responsibility to provide for his household. This is because when wives end up as mothers, they need to focus on rearing the children. The man’s responsibility is to make sure the family’s physical needs are taken care of. Of course there are always extenuating circumstances that can get in the way — layoffs, sickness, difficulty finding work, and other factors. But the principle is to be ready to work and avoid slothfulness so that your family doesn’t have to suffer.

“But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” (1 Timothy 5:8)

“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?  If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” (Matthew 7:9-11)

Discipline Your Children So They Can Inherit Life

I once worked with a police officer who believed that the main difference between kids who end up being productive members of society and those who end up in jail was whether they receive proper discipline in the home. Mothers tend to err on the side of care and compassion while forgetting to set proper boundaries. But God has called men to be the “boundary enforcers” when needed. This can be a difficult task for men who didn’t grow up seeing what good, godly discipline looks like, so it’s important to remember to be led by love and not anger (more on this below). God disciplines His children (that’s us!) for our good — not because He wants to harm us, but because He wants us to live righteously. That should always be our motivation with our children as well. Because discipline, when properly applied, leads to blessedness and eternal life.

“My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline or be weary of his reproof, for the Lord reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights.” (Proverbs 3:11-12)

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. (Hebrews 12:11)

Be Merciful, Not Provoking Your Children to Anger

“f I could go back in time, this is the biblical principle that I would most try to impress upon my younger self. When we lose control and discipline in anger instead of love, that creates resentment and anger in our children. Unhealthy discipline may also create a distrust for authority that can eventually affect a child’s own relationship with God. Even if our children should sin or fall into disobedience we should follow God’s great example of mercy. He is slow to anger, rich in love, and always ready to forgive.

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4)

Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. (Colossians 3:21)

“And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to celebrate.” (Luke 15:20-24)

Fatherhood is perhaps the greatest foundation in all of human society. The statistics alone tell us of the devastating impacts that occur when fathers are absent. Those who grow up without a father in the home are much more likely to end up in poverty, jail, commit suicide, have a poor education, experience poor health, and a host of other negative consequences. If politicians truly wanted to make the world a better place, they would start by emphasizing the importance of fatherhood.

This is why the Bible is so foundational for creating healthy families, and with them, healthy societies. When we follow what God’s Word teaches about fatherhood, we lay the groundwork for generations of wholeness to follow.

So dads, I know what it feels like to carry such a heavy responsibility, and chances are we going to slip up from time to time. But we can’t condemn ourselves. We need to get right with God, go to the Word, and be obedient. At the end of the day, our families and future selves will reap the rewards for following the template that leads to life.

Angelos Kyriakides is a husband, father, pastor, and apologist who lives in Southern Ontario, Canada. He holds a master’s degree in Theological Studies from Regent College and has a special focus on secularization, science, and faith. You can catch more of his content at www.therightstory.org