The Brew: A Surreal Day Straight Out of Fiction

By Al Perrotta Published on April 5, 2023

Happy Wednesday!

Was that a day, huh? Yes, historic, but also in Trump’s words “surreal.”

For a full recap of events from before Trump left Trump Tower until he boarded his plane home, please check out our “Trump Arraignment: Updates and Hot Takes.” And I thank those who came to The Stream during the day to enjoy our humble offerings.

Get Yer Trump Mug Shot T-Shirts! Get ‘Em While They’re Hot

The Trump Campaign is already offering up Trump Mug Shot T-Shirts.

“But Al, they didn’t take a mug shot!”

Sure, but you think Trump was going to let a guaranteed moneymaker go to waste?

Now Stormy Owes Trump Another $130,000?!

How surreal? At the same time Trump was pleading not guilty over his payment of $130,000 to Stormy Daniels, another court ruled Daniels had to pay Trump nearly $130,000.

Which has me wondering: Since Daniels is now bragging about how the indictment has sent sales of her “Team Stormy” merchandise booming, doesn’t that compromise her testimony, since a trial would only continue to boost her fortunes? Worse for Stormy, Trump has to force her to pay, otherwise his refusal to try and collect will be seen as an attempt to buy off a witness.

Alvin Bragg, Graduate From the Dean Wormer School of Law

To be charged with a felony under state law, Trump would have had to falsify the business records to cover up a crime. Okay, so what crime is that? Crickets from Bragg, who declared he didn’t have to detail the crime. Very Kafka-esque. Or very Animal House. Trump has been on double-secret probation.

On the other hand, Bragg did suggest Trump violated N.Y. State election law. But as Techno Fog wonders, “Why wasn’t Trump charged with those New York State crimes?”

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Bragg also made a big deal out of something called “catch-and-kill.” The idea is that a campaign catches wind of a damaging story and then works to kill it. The Stormy Daniels and Karen McDougal stories are examples of “catch-and-kill.” So that’s a crime now? A campaign trying to sweep its dirt under the rug? Like Biden loyalists in the FBI catching-and-killing the Hunter Biden laptop story? How about Biden having the University of Delaware — on the day he announced for president — lock away all his Senate papers until after he leaves office? That caught the Tara Reade story, and by burying her employment records, helped kill the story. How about Fetterman? How much did his campaign spread around to keep his true condition away from voters? The doctor who said he was fit to serve certainly got paid.

This Indictment Reads Out of Fiction. From Kafka to Orwell …

Bragg in his press conference made another statement that was a jaw-dropper. He didn’t reject prosecuting Trump because he didn’t want to “normalize serious criminal conduct.” Bragg — who turns over 50% of criminal cases, including violent ones, into misdemeanors. Whose cashless bail policy puts criminals back on the street before the blood of their victims dries. Who just this weekend was set to charge a garage worker for grabbing the gun and shooting the vicious thug who shot him twice. That thug walks free.

… to H.G. Wells …

As Andrew McCarthy pointed out last evening, the payments and bookkeeping that Bragg says were illegal started taking place in January 2017. Yet, Bragg also argues the payments are a felony because Trump was trying to defraud voters in the 2016 election.  

Catch that? Trump committed illegal acts in 2017 to impact the 2016 election. If Trump has got time machine technology, do we really need electric vehicles?

… to David Copperfield

And in this case I mean the magician. As former Deputy Assistant Attorney General John Yoo asked, “This misdemeanor, which you had to bring within two years of the crime, how does it get elevated into a felony?” Magic.

What I still can’t figure out, Mr. Bragg: If Trump hiding payments of a roll in the hay would be a crime, why isn’t it a crime that Hillary hid payments for her framing of Trump?

Finally, definitive proof we’re living in a fictional Trump Show.

On the Very Day the Precedent Was Set of Indicting Former Presidents, Word Breaks Obama’s Moving to Kenya for a Year? That Can’t Be True!

FurtherAfrica is reporting that former President Barack Obama is moving to Kenya to live for a year. Yep. Just as soon as Bragg made it clear former presidents are open game for ambitious partisan prosecutors, Obama is high-tailing it to Kenya.

I hear you, no way that’s legit, right? Well, while FurtherAfrica seems a legit site, the story is very fishy.  

According to the article, Obama’s relocating for two reasons. One, he has been named an SED by Joe Biden, a “Special Envoy for Diplomacy.” But he’s also coming to film a documentary called In the Land of My Father, with the help of Morgan Freeman and legendary director Sir Richard Attenborough.

Unfortunately …

… the term “Special Envoy for Diplomacy” generates no results on Google. A search doesn’t show any articles on Obama doing a documentary in Kenya … though he did narrate a National Geographic documentary last year that included a segment on a national park in Kenya. If Obama were truly doing such a documentary, the Hollywood Reporter and entertainment press would be all over it.

Oh. And Sir Richard Attenborough died in 2014.

So the Obama moving to Kenya story is not something to spread. 

Funny thing? Obama doing a documentary on Kenya called In the Land of My Father would actually be pretty cool. (And no, I’m not making any jokes about him being born there!)

Along The Stream

We’ve got a very special episode of “Conversations with Christians Engaged.” In the wake of the Asbury Revival and student-led moves of God around the country, Bunni Pounds examines how we define revival from the Bible.  

 

Al Perrotta is the Managing Editor of The Stream, chief barista for The Brew and co-author, with John Zmirak, of The Politically Incorrect Guide to Immigration. You can follow him at @StreamingAl at GETTRGabParler, and now at TRUTH Social.

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