Swamp Creature Joe Biden: Hair Sniffing, Head Kissing … and Arm Twisting

By Al Perrotta Published on April 3, 2019

With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy:

If you can sniff a woman’s hair, put your hands on more women than Warren Beatty in his prime, parade naked in front of female Secret Service agents when your wife’s out of town and still bemoan the ripping “moral fabric of society,” you may be a Swamp Creature.

Can you say that the opposing party wants to put black people “back in chains,” after having once celebrated segregation? You may be a Swamp Creature.

If you can say out of one side of your mouth that you’re just the guy to beat Trump with white males while out of the other side blasting “white man’s culture,” you may be a Swamp Creature.

If you entered the Senate the same year we saw the first hand-held calculator, re-elected Nixon, and heard of the new band, ABBA? You may be a Swamp Creature.

Can you be “wrong on nearly every major foreign policy and national security issue over the past four decades,” yet still be considered a foreign policy specialist? You may be a Swamp Creature.

If you can notoriously plagiarize and mimic a British politician, lie about the Libyan embassy wanting more security before Benghazi, lie about Obamacare not forcing religious groups to pay for contraception … and still have the Washington Post write about your “amazing honesty,” you may be a Swamp Creature.

If you can be humiliated in two earlier runs for president and still be your party’s front-runner, you are definitely a Swamp Creature.

Considering each statement applies to one Joe Biden, I think it’s safe to say that we’ve identified his habitat and species: Swamp Creature.

The Dangerous Swamp Creature

The stuff I just listed merely skims the surface of the Swamp. It is way down in the murk that a Creature shows its teeth.

The hair sniffing gets the headlines and the late night humor. But the abuse of power for personal gain and protection? That points up our desperate need to drain the national Swamp.

Our case in point: What if I told you Donald Trump used his position and influence as President to get Russia to fire a prosecutor who was investigating Ivanka Trump’s business? A business that raked in huge bucks as the Donald was getting cozy with Russia. I wouldn’t have to tell you. Because it’d be screaming 24/7 from every newscast and newspaper in America.

However, this is precisely what Vice President Joe Biden did for his son. And bragged about it.

Threatening a Foreign Government to Benefit His Son

Here’s how The Hill‘s John Solomon reports it:

In his own words, with video cameras rolling, Biden described how he threatened Ukrainian President Petro Poroshenko in March 2016 that the Obama administration would pull $1 billion in U.S. loan guarantees, sending the former Soviet republic toward insolvency, if it didn’t immediately fire Prosecutor General Viktor Shokin.

“I said, ‘You’re not getting the billion.’ I’m going to be leaving here in, I think it was about six hours. I looked at them and said: ‘I’m leaving in six hours. If the prosecutor is not fired, you’re not getting the money,’” Biden recalled telling Poroshenko.

“Well, son of a b****, he got fired. And they put in place someone who was solid at the time,” Biden told the Council on Foreign Relations event, insisting that President Obama was in on the threat.

What Biden didn’t tell his audience? That Viktor Shokin was “leading a wide-ranging corruption probe into the natural gas firm Burisma Holdings that employed Biden’s younger son, Hunter as a board member.”

In fact, U.S. banking records show Hunter’s firm Rosemont Seneca Partners LLC was getting “usually more than $166,000 a month from Burisma from spring 2014 through fall of 2015.” Meanwhile, who was spearheading the administration’s support of Ukraine? Vice President Biden. In fact, Foreign Policy asked in October 2016 “What Will Ukraine Do Without Uncle Joe?”

So a prosecutor has his eye on a company. One that is funneling hundreds of thousands of dollars to the Vice President’s son. The Vice President gets him ousted. Forget sniffing hair, Uncle Joe. This business stinks to high heaven.

Swamp Children

Having pops as VP proved very, very profitable for Hunter Biden. Peter Schweizer writes a whole chapter about it in his book Secret Empires. He laid out to Sean Hannity one of three deals Biden made with China:

Basically, what happens is in 2013, Joe Biden flies to China to talk to them about very sensitive issues, the South China Sea, talking about trade issues, economic issues. Hunter Biden, his son, is with him on Air Force Two. Okay, that’s fine, that’s great. Here’s the problem: Ten days after they come back, after Joe Biden takes a pretty soft position towards the Chinese, Hunter Biden inks … what becomes a $1.5 billion [private equity] deal.”

Watch the story here:

Back to Ukraine

Meanwhile, Ukraine’s back-scratching of their pal Uncle Joe wasn’t limited to protecting Hunter. John Solomon broke another huge story two weeks ago. Ukraine’s top prosecutor is investigating “whether his country’s law enforcement apparatus intentionally leaked financial records during the 2016 U.S. presidential campaign about then-Trump campaign chairman Paul Manafort in an effort to sway the election in favor of Hillary Clinton.”

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We have long known Ukrainian officials colluded — yes, colluded — with Hillary Clinton to influence the 2016 election. They were pretty blunt about it. They were publicly questioning Trump’s fitness for office. And in January 2017, Politico reported how “they helped Clinton’s allies research damaging information on Trump and his advisers.”

This research resurfaced as what Hillary used to first start claiming that Trump colluded with the Russians. It was the germ of the Russian Collusion hoax.

Pay No Attention to the Ukrainian Behind the Curtain

Here’s what’s fascinating: The Politico story about Hillary’s Ukraine Collusion came out January 11, 2017. Exactly one day after Buzzfeed published the Steele Dossier, igniting the Trump-Russia Collusion frenzy. (Yes, the media chased a false rabbit when a real live one was staring them in the face.)

Special Counsel Robert Mueller spent two years investigating Trump’s Russia connection. He found no evidence Trump or his campaign colluded or conspired with Russia.

Will we see any such effort to investigate Hillary Clinton and her collusion with the Ukraine? Any probe of Joe Biden for his strong-arming Ukraine for his son? And for that matter, Biden’s knowledge of the Ukrainian effort and whether he knew the Steele dossier was phony? (After all, he said he was briefed on it.)

Will this Swamp Creature be fully exposed? Or will he be free to slither up to his next unsuspecting target?

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