Just Punishment for Those Who Call For Death For Climate Change Denial!

Start building the scaffolds.

By William M Briggs Published on September 19, 2017

Climate activists have called for the deaths of critics of the failed theory of devastating man-made global warming. They’ve urged harsh punishment for those who support climate realism. They prescribed jail time for scientists who admit uncertainty in global temperature forecasts! Others have demanded non-conforming scientists be penalized for giving their professional opinion!

Hey — if our betters are allowed to call for torches and pitchforks against their enemies, then by golly, so am I. Fair’s fair.

Hang ’em High

First to the scaffold should be the angry prune and one-time funnyman Eric Idle. He tweeted, “I think that denying climate change is a crime against humanity. And they should be held accountable in a World Court.”

When summarily found guilty, the perpetrators, he said, should be “put down gently.” As should anybody who tells such lousy jokes.

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Mounting their last steps with Idle will be the editors of The Nation, who published the article “Climate Denialism Is Literally Killing Us: The victims of Hurricane Harvey have a murderer — and it’s not the storm.” The author claims that not acting to his satisfaction against “climate change” is equivalent to “premeditated murder” and should be punished as such. Murder is a capital crime. As should be the rape of logic.


We’re near to over-straining our nooses, which must be saved for the evilest wrongdoers. This is why it’s best that Esquire’s Charles P. Pierce meet his Maker by firing squad. Pierce said, “Climate denial already is a synonym for mass murder.” And we know the fate of mass murderers. That same end should be meted out to writers at celebrity tittle-tattle magazines who pretend to understand physics.

Prison Blues

Even though it may seem a good idea, not all sins against Truth are punishable by death. Incarceration and punitive fines have their place. Thus it’s off to the hoosegow for Brian Merchant, a writer at The Outline responsible for the negligent piece, “Climate Change Denial Should Be A Crime: In the wake of Harvey, it’s time to treat science denial as gross negligence — and hold those who do the denying accountable.

Merchant said hurricane Harvey is “what climate change looks like.” No, it’s what a rare hurricane looks like. If anything, “climate change” is causing a decrease in hurricanes and tropical storms, as hurricane scientist Ryan Maue showed us.

For Merchant’s gross criminal ignorance of verifiable truths, he should be put away for five to eight years, with no time off for good behavior.

The bloated New York Times Paul “Spend Spend Spend” Krugman called climate “denial” “treason against the planet.” He should be placed in public stocks next to any large vegetable market, until such time as he recants or shaves off that scraggly beard.

What punishment does Bill Nye deserve for his misdeeds, so numerous and notorious that they need not be recounted? He should be made to watch the episode of Bill Nye Saves The World until he agrees to retire forever from public view.

It’s War!

The case of the sovereign nation of Canada is the hardest. We have official word that a branch of their government, the Competition Bureau, is investigating three organizations for the non-crime of “climate denial.” One of the groups is the Heartland Institute, which has its headquarters in Chicago (a group which I have a loose affiliation with).

Though it’s not always acknowledged, Chicago is in the United States. Canada’s encroachment upon US territory, albeit once removed, could be considered an act of war. A few of our lighter missiles launched into Ottawa might be just what it takes to wipe the permanent grin off the face of Justin Trudeau.

Lightest Penalty

Finally, an example of the lightest, but still necessary, penalty. Franciscan Friar Ramon “Ramoncito” Razon framed his foolishness in the form of a question, and not a declarative sentence. So he should pay a fine not lower than $1,500 and be appointed urinal colonel at the Holy Name Province for a period of no less than six weeks for his query, “Why is climate change denial not yet a crime?

For the record, no one has ever denied that earth’s climate has changed.

If you find this — obvious satire — troubling, what about the literal calls for execution and imprisonment by those on the other side of the debate?

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  • Oh, so if you think climate science is a big hoax, you’re a “climate realist.” I see. Gotcha.

    • Chuck, Please to show me where I used the word ‘hoax’.

      For misquoting me, your punishment shall be to breathe in CO2 at 401 parts per million, which is higher than the average, and which if you exhale will contribute to dangerous global warming.

    • GPS Daddy

      Climate science is really cool. Have you ever studied it? But I noticed that those in the “oh my God, the earth is melting camp” use to use the term “global warming.” When that turned out not to be true, then it was changed to “climate change”. Now your going to “climate science” suggesting that those who deny “climate change” are climate science deniers. But the climate of the earth is constantly changing. “Climate science” scientists have been infiltrated with sleight-of-hand experts… But the problem is the climate is not cooperating.

      But here is another view: The earth was created by God for man. Unless man through his sin destroys it, the earth is very capable of sustaining man. Even a large population than we now have. We can trust that (so long as man cares for the earth) the earth is a very capable place for us.

      Now another view: Against all incredible odds, we are here. Mankind has won the lottery of lotteries. But since there is no meaning or purpose beyond what the chemical reactions in our brains (we only have brains – no minds) concocts to deceive us into thinking we can very much fret at any changes in our environment. But we should recognize that our fretting is still just a chemical reaction in our brains. It too has no meaning or purpose.

    • “if you think climate science is a big hoax, you’re a “climate realist'”

      No Chuck, you’re a “climate realist” if you’ve noticed that a lot of dire predictions by climate scientists have not come to pass. For example, US scientists “Arctic summers ice-free ‘by 2013′” prediction, reported on a Dec. 7, 2007 BBC News web page with that headline.

    • Ryan

      Why are you proclaiming, “climate science?” It is those on the side of climate science who said we would not be living on this planet after 1999. We no longer exist on planet earth, so we don’t have climate science or anything else related to it.

    • Here’s another dose of climate realism for you, Chuck. In “An Inconvenient Truth,” released in 2006, Al Gore said: “Within the decade there will be no more snows of Kilimanjaro.” While Al Gore is not a scientist, supposedly he got that from climate scientists.

      However there is a weather forecasting web site for that mountain. Last night for the 19,565 foot elevation on Sept. 20, 2017 it said, “Days 0-3 Mount Kilimanjaro Weather Summary: A heavy fall of snow, heaviest during Wed night. Temperatures will be well below freezing (max 19°F on Wed morning, min 18°F on Wed afternoon). Wind will be generally light.”

      • eddiestardust

        Hey Buster, I live in suburban Philly and we have had TWO 30 inch snowstorms in 20 years…hit by a Hurricane and a few Tropical Storms , all within a few years. Don’t talk to me about climate change cause you don’t really know what you are talking about.

    • Bob Adome

      I remember that we were supposed to be in the second ice age by now. An age when the US would be under feet of ice. Wish DC was.

  • suzsez

    Science by “legal mandate” is not science at all. Since global warming is going on on ALL the planets right now, due to changes in the solar system and sun, who are they going to blame then?

    • Patmos

      They’ll blame Trump of course.

  • Patmos

    My favorite is seeing people blame climate change for earthquakes. As for Eric Idle, when it’s not clear whether you’re joking or telling the truth, you know you’re well past your prime and completely out of touch.

    • RonitaM

      Is Idle with the Onion?

  • Paddy Johnston

    Is climate change what’s turning the frogs gay, or nah?

    • If you’ve ever been leered at by a toad, you’d fear global warming, too.

    • eddiestardust

      No but seriously , it has to do with chemistry….

  • BetterYet

    HA HA HA HA… This is such a funny, yet true article. I wish I had written it. Bravo!

  • Bob Adome

    We were supposed to be into the second ice age by now. People do care about the environment. There are laws that protect it. Sometimes we learn things after the fact. New technologies are developed to conserve it. If there is a way to do it Americans will find it. The real purpose behind the progressive side of the science is to control society. They want to control peoples by whatever means necessay. Progressive motto, “everyone else but me” and do not tell me the facts. Using edicts and violence to accomplish it.

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