What does it mean to be a “Proverbs 31 woman”? I grew up in Christian subculture. In this subculture, which often trades biblical truth for a “cool” Christian club, Proverbs 31 can easily become little more than a trendy catchphrase or glorified stereotype.

My earliest memories of the passage aren’t of the passage itself, but of “Proverbs 31 girl” in curly font, surrounded by cartoon flowers, plastered on Bible covers and t-shirts. More often, the reference was associated with the word “woman.” It seemed as if the main goal for a Christian female was to become a “Proverbs 31 woman,” after a childhood faithfully lived as a “Proverbs 31 girl.”

What Did It Mean?

But what did that mean? Among the lines from that passage most commonly repeated is “her children rise up and call her blessed.” So does being a Proverbs 31 woman mean having lots of kids who unfailingly adore you?

Another line often plucked from the passage is this: “She does him [her husband] good, and not harm, all the days of her life.” At youth group meetings and teen girl conferences, leaders emphasized “all the days of her life”: a reminder that we must honor our future husbands in the way we behave even now. So does being a Proverbs 31 girl simply mean staying “pure” and praying for Mr. Right?

Growing up, I felt guilty that Proverbs 31 wasn’t among my favorite Scriptures. After all, it was one of the Bible passages that was supposed to apply to me — a female. But in my mind, the words “Proverbs 31” evoked wedding gowns followed by barefoot domesticity. I wasn’t sure I desired marriage and motherhood. You can see why that picture held little appeal.

It wasn’t until adulthood that I really delved into Proverbs 31. I don’t remember the impetus. Maybe it was a web article or a devotional book, or simply a sense that I needed to revisit the famed proverbs. But for the first time, I realized that Proverbs 31 isn’t all about cooking dinner and cleaning up afterwards. Duh, right? Well, not for me.

Not What I Thought

The Proverbs 31 woman is family-oriented, to be sure. But she doesn’t fit in the box my mind — perhaps influenced by the trappings of Christian subculture — had built for her.

She is resourceful. A savvy businesswoman. She oversees the work of others, and is in charge of making consequential decisions for her family. She is strong — that’s mentioned three times. She’s also compassionate. She is a provider, protector, and diligent worker.

Strong. Businesswoman. Provider. Not images commonly associated with cutesy font and colorful flowers.

So finally, the truth hit me. Proverbs 31 applies to a wide variety of women with a wide variety of strengths, not just the highly-stereotyped homemaker I’d been led to believe she applied to.

Not Just Proverbs 31

Sometime later I read a blog post by Christian writer Jasmine Holmes that further expanded my understanding. “Biblical womanhood doesn’t begin and end in Proverbs 31,” it’s titled. Of course, I thought. Proverbs 31 isn’t one of the few Bible passages that “apply” to me.

The entire Bible applies to me! And when it comes to my specific role as a woman in God’s plan, there are many passages from which I can draw inspiration. As Holmes wisely writes of the Proverbs 31 woman:

She’s an ideal. And yes, she is inspirational, but she is not the only picture in God’s word that matters for believers of the feminine persuasion. All Scripture, from Genesis to Revelation, gives us information about what it means to obey Christ and live a life set apart for him. … I need the whole counsel of God’s word to be the woman he’s called me to be.

Thankful for Women

Today Proverbs 31 is one of my favorite passages. But not because I’m now married (that desire came shortly after meeting my college sweetheart) and looking forward to raising kids (that desire came shortly after we said our vows). And not because it’s one of the only passages “for me” (it’s not). Proverbs 31 is one of my favorite passages because it doesn’t box me in.

Proverbs 31:10-31 displays the diversity of women’s roles and traits, from boss to teacher, fearless to tender. And it reminds me that what the world often values most about women — our looks — is nothing compared to what truly matters: serving God in the multiple arenas to which we are called.

So on International Women’s Day, I thank God for the women of the world, especially my sisters in the faith. The ones who work hard, look after those in their care, and faithfully serve their Creator, pointing others to him in the way they live their lives. As I’m coming to learn, they exemplify what it means to be a Proverbs 31 woman.

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Give her the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates (Proverbs 31:30-31).