Pastor Who “Almost Quit” Now Helps Others

This is a short excerpt from Shane Idleman’s new book, I Almost Quit, releasing on Amazon today.

By 2024, I had reached a tipping point: I no longer wanted to pastor anymore, and I wasn’t sure why. Looking back, I don’t believe that it had to do with stress as much as discouragement. 

It all started during the COVID-19 pandemic. At our church in Los Angeles County, the stress was overwhelming at times. We decided to open the building just two months into the lockdowns. We were also able to move to an outdoor stadium for Saturday night services in the summer — and that’s when Los Angeles County tightened its grip. Undoubtedly, every pastor went through extreme turmoil during that season.

On September 22, 2020, I received a text from my mom saying she needed prayer because she wasn’t feeling too well. That was the last text that I ever received from her. She passed away shortly after that from an aneurysm, and the hospital wouldn’t allow any visitors while she lay conscious in the emergency room. She died a few minutes later while telling the doctors about us kids.

I was given the daunting task of putting her entire memorial service together, including speaking at it. I could feel the stress taking its toll.

Wounded on the Battlefield

By this time in ministry, the relational pain was reaching a crescendo. Only pastors know how it feels to pour into people for years and then have them turn on you. It can really wear on you. In addition, many of my friends had moved out of California. It was definitely a hard season.

Obviously, we have to take responsibility for some of the fallout we experience, but after working with thousands of people for many years, I’ve noticed that complaining about pastors often makes people feel better. When we lovingly challenge people about their attitude and behavior, instead of repenting, changing, and growing, most of those people make us the target of their anger.

It’s beautiful when people work on their shortcomings together (including pastors); the relationship becomes even stronger as a result. But I’m sad to report that’s rarely the case. Most people leave the church when they are lovingly confronted. If we add to the mix the people who have a tendency to be judgmental about the music, the flow of the service, and the sermon topics, as well as what you wear, how you lead, and any other thing they can find to complain about, it can really be depressing.

Steps to Freedom

Not only was pastoring wearing on me, but my health was declining. Once I reached my fiftie, there were definite hormonal shifts taking place, such as lower testosterone levels. I also experienced higher blood pressure, inflammation, muscle loss, and weight gain, along with other symptoms resembling prediabetes. I was developing what many experts are now calling “metabolic syndrome.” I knew what to do to be healthier; I was just having a hard time doing it. Isn’t that the case with so many of us?

So, how did I break out of this cycle of discouragement? Here are the four primary things that helped me, and they can help you, too.

1. Despite how I felt, I prayed for strength and pressed into God even more. Perseverance is a key biblical principle that will produce godly fruit — period. Regardless of how I felt, I knew that if I sought Him, I would eventually find Him (Jeremiah 29:13). The truth was my anchor, not my feelings.
2. The physical often affects the spiritual, and I was eating too much in an effort to combat my discouragement. I had to cut back. Can you pray and seek God better with a headache, tight clothes, and a very sluggish and lethargic body? Of course not. What you put in the mouth [body] and the mind [soul] affects the spirit.
3. I began to pray and really believe these words: “Lord, if this is all You have for me, You know what’s best. Please forgive me for being disgruntled. You have given me a wonderful church and an incredible family. I am truly blessed.” This was a huge breakthrough. Many pastors rate success by numbers, not faithfulness. That might work for corporate America, but not for God’s corporation. Trust Him and surrender to His will. Finding peace and satisfaction, no matter where God places you, is the key to avoiding most landmines.
4. Even though I didn’t “feel” like it, I showed up to preach, minister, and lead. When we allow God’s love to flow through us, it not only helps others, but it renews our spiritual life — it becomes life-giving to us as well as to them. Don’t become frustrated, become fervent.

Many different types of stresses in life can cause us to experience burnout and want to give up. No matter what challenges you are going through in your life right now, maintaining a close relationship with Jesus is critical to the outcome. The primary place we will find wisdom and strength to help us navigate the landmines of life is God’s Word, which is our spiritual food — it’s a timeless truth.

Pursue God through every means available. He will enable you to accomplish His will for your life: “We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair” (2 Corinthians 4:8). You can rest on this promise: He will never leave you nor forsake you.

Shane Idleman is the founder and lead pastor of Westside Christian Fellowship in Southern California and the creator of the WCF Radio Network. His program, Regaining Lost Ground, points us back to God and reminds us that although times change, truth does not. His books, blogs, and sermons can all be found at ShaneIdleman.com.