Alert! Alert! President Trump is gonna fire Special Counsel Robert Mueller! Oh, boy. Trump better not fire Robert Mueller! Will you quit when Trump fires Mueller? There’s going to be massive constitutional crisis when Trump fires Mueller! Too late! We’re already in a constitutional crisis! Let’s pass legislation to stop Trump from firing Mueller! Let’s organize riots … I mean, rallies to protest Trump firing Mueller! 

Newsflash: Trump isn’t firing Mueller. He’s even tweeting about not firing Mueller.

If I wanted to fire Robert Mueller in December, as reported by the Failing New York Times, I would have fired him. Just more Fake News from a biased newspaper!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 12, 2018

In fact, he won’t need to fire Mueller. Mueller’s more likely to keel over from the incessant ringing in his ears from all the people talking about Trump firing Mueller. So why wouldn’t Trump fire Mueller?

Reason 1: Mueller’s Got Nuthin’

Robert Mueller and his squadron of Democratic party donors don’t have anything on the president. The Trump-Russia collusion tale turned up nothing. Nothing but evidence the tale was concocted and spread by the Clinton campaign and Obama Administration. Even former FBI counter-intelligence honcho Peter Strzok was so convinced there was nothing to it after six months of digging he didn’t even want to join Mueller’s investigation.

Leaks from Mueller’s squad to keep the story going have proven either bogus or sent the story in directions the media didn’t dare go. Take this one from the Chicago Tribune: “Mueller said to have evidence that 2017 Seychelles meeting was effort to establish back channel to Kremlin!” The meeting took place after the election. Why would Trump need a back channel if the whole investigation is based on the narrative he was already in bed with Putin?

Oh, and his big witness, George Nader? You mean the convicted pedophile photographed partying in Punta Cana with Bill Clinton? Travel down that rabbit hole and Stormy Daniels will look like Sister Maria.

Or how about this blockbuster from The New York Times: “Mueller investigating Ukrainian’s $150,000 payment for a Trump appearance.” That Ukrainian is Victor Pinchuk, the same guy who gave the Clinton Foundation up to $25 million when Hillary was secretary of state. The same Pinchuk who Hillary denied meeting, though emails prove he’d been to her home.

A maxim for the Mueller Investigation:  Any trail you try to go down with Trump, you end up at a superhighway named Hillary.

But what about obstruction of justice for firing James Comey? Sure, Trump can whip out both Jeff Sessions and Rob Rosenstein recommending Comey should be dumped. He can play for Mueller a montage of Democrats calling before the election for Comey to be canned. He can pull out the FBI internal report showing how agents within the bureau were increasingly unhappy with the direction of the bureau.

But Trump has another answer for Mueller. “I’ve got good people instincts. I sensed he was a spineless snake. The kind of guy who would leak our conversations to The New York Times. And Trump was right again.”

“Two more questions. Why do you talk about yourself in the third person? And why you ask him whether he was loyal to you?”

“Context, Bob. Shortly after the election NSA chief Mike Rogers told me about the Obama administration’s surveillance efforts. Why do you think I moved my transition away from Trump Tower the next day? I knew Brennan and Clapper were gunning for me. I knew there were leaks coming from every which way. I knew there were all sorts of shenanigans at the FBI/DOJ, and a coordinated effort to destroy Trump. The meaning of my question to Comey was simple: ‘Are you part of it?'”

Reason 2: Whatever Mueller Investigation Comes Up With on Trump is Tainted

The Mueller investigation into Trump is over. Just nobody’s had the heart to tell CNN. Lady Justice not only removed her blindfold, she’s had to use it as a tourniquet to stop her massive bleeding.

As the House and Senate evidence has exposed, the entire foundation of the Mueller appointment was a fiction. A partisan snowjob funded by the Clinton campaign using information from Russian and other foreign agents, propagated by Obama administration figures including CIA director John Brennan, with texts from Strzok and mistress Lisa Page suggesting the involvement of Obama’s chief of staff. An Obama himself.

Heck, the only reason Mueller isn’t out golfing is because Comey leaked classified communications specifically to manipulate Congress into pressuring for the appointment.

And speaking of Comey, you’ve got the former FBI director who had a hand in the investigation prejudicing the entire jury pool by publicly comparing the president to a mob boss. Trump’s lawyers will be playing that like a piccolo in a 4th of July parade.

The DOJ IG report is soon to drop. The shockwave will liquify the ground the media and Democrats have been standing on for 18 months.

Legally, the tree is so completely, utterly poisoned you might as well chop it down. There is no feasible way anything emerging from it connected to Trump survives in court. Unless, of course, the whole point was just to dirty up Trump so a Dem-run House could impeach him. And how well do you think a soft coup is going to play out? A soft coup in a strong economy, one might add.

Far away from The Swamp in Utah, U.S. Attorney John Huber has been quietly working to develop prosecutions based on what DOJ Inspector General Michael Horowitz has uncovered.

The media tells us to watch out for the Blue Wave. You’re looking more at a sea of orange jumpsuits.

Reason 3: His Enemies Want Him to Fire Mueller

Trump’s enemies for all their shouting want him to fire Mueller. Since Mueller doesn’t have anything, the only way to harm Trump is to goad him into firing Mueller. Or firing Rosenstein for not firing Mueller.

Remember how Eminem did that anti-Trump rap, hoping Trump would come after him on Twitter and Trump didn’t take the bait? Well, the Democrats and media are Eminem … without the rhyming talent.

MoveOn.org — you know, the Soros-funded outfit initially created to protect Bill Clinton from impeachment — has already created a “Mueller Firing Rapid Response” effort. They claim 800+ rallies are already set to hit the streets with 300,000 people RSVP’d. Meghan McCain said on The View, “I think there would actually be rioting in Washington, D.C. I think it would be at levels we haven’t seen.” Co-host Whoopi Goldberg replied “Now that would be fun to watch I have to say.” 

Last week marked the 50th anniversary of the D.C. Riots. The streets burned for four days. Thirteen people were killed and over a 1,000 people were injured. 1600 businesses were damaged, at a loss of over $25 million. The inner city economy was wrecked. Thousands of jobs were lost. The middle class fled the city. Crime rose dramatically. It took decades for the riot areas to recover.

Chew on this for dinner. This is what Whoopi and her like-minded friends think of as “fun.”

Thank God Trump seems determined, despite the provocation, to not give them the satisfaction.