More Headline Predictions for 2016: The Not-So-Serious Sequel

By Al Perrotta Published on January 9, 2016

I already made a bunch of headline predictions for 2016. But there are more where that came from, and some pretty silly ones at that. We’re living in stranger-than-fiction times, so who knows, maybe the strange list that follows will prove more accurate than the earlier one. In any case, for your reading and Tweeting pleasure:

President-Elect Wakes Up, Wonders, ‘Argghh! What was I Thinking?!?!’
Trump Shocker! Billionaire Real Estate Mogul Caught Playing with Legos!
Redskins Playoff Advance Confounds NFL, Infuriates the Politically Correct
New Washington GM Gets Strong Write-In Vote for President: ‘If He Can Turn Around the Redskins, How Hard Could America Be?’
Unbelievable! Odell Beckham, Jr. Catches Winning TD Pass with Only His Pinkie
Al Jazeera Accuses Peyton Manning of Starring in Too Many Lame Commercials
Sales of God’s Not Dead 2 Action Figures Rival That of Star Wars
10-Year-Old Movie-Goer Wonders: ‘If It Happened a “Long Time Ago in a Galaxy Far Away” Why Do I Have to Wait Until Next Year to Know What Happened Next?’
MSNBC Mourns the Passing of Its Only Viewer
NYC School Evacuated After Discovery of Holy Bible in Library
Atheist Group Forces City to Change Name of Crosswalk
U of California Forbids Students from Rooting for US During Olympics, Dubs Cheers ‘Micro-Aggression’
Obama Suggests Dissolving Congress: ‘You Don’t Like ‘Em, and I Don’t Need ‘Em’
Congress Agrees to Dissolve Provided ‘We Get to Keep the Perks’
Paul Ryan’s Ex-Beard to Write Capitol Hill Tell-All
Obama Signs Executive Order Requiring All His Post-Presidential Golf Partners Continue to Let Him Win
Teenager in Maryland Reportedly Spotted Putting Down Smartphone to Talk to Adult
Caitlyn Jenner: ‘I Miss Being a Dude’
Kris Jenner: ‘Sure I’d take Bruce Back … if I Can Have His Wardrobe’

And finally, the top headline of 2016!