Married Men are Happier. So Why is Marriage Declining?

If marriage is so beneficial, why are fewer people than ever getting married?

By Liberty McArtor Published on November 2, 2017

Marriage makes for happy men, according to a British study. Two thousand men answered questions on “the state of masculinity in 2017,” The Telegraph reported Monday.

The survey offers “important insights into what men need to live their lives in a positive way,” Dr. John Barry, research leader said. Barry works at University College London (UCL), which conducted the study. Harry’s, an American shaving company, commissioned it.

Fifty-six percent of men ranked marriage above love and even children in importance. Ninety percent ranked romance as “important” or “very important.” Just 78 percent said the same of their work. A majority ranked marriage as more important than personal growth.

The study also found that men are likely to be thinking of marriage when they enter into a relationship. As The Telegraph notes, this dispels “the misconception that long-term monogamous relationships are no longer desirable in an age of Tinder and high divorce rates.”

More Wealth, Better Sex, Longer Life

While conducted in Great Britain, the study confirms other recent research regarding men and marriage. In February the Institute for Family Studies published a brief “debunking the ball and chain myth.” Popular culture maintains that marriage results in less money, sex and happiness for men. But that’s not true, the brief argues.

“Being a good husband isn’t always easy,” brief authors W. Bradford Wilcox and Nicholas H. Wolfinger acknowledge. They note there are sacrifices necessary for men in marriage. “But it turns out that these sacrifices pay for themselves and more.”

“Married men earn between 10 and 40 percent more than otherwise comparable single men,” Wilcox and Wolfinger write. They cite research showing this persists across the U.S. and other developed nations. The increase in income isn’t only because men who make more money are more likely to marry. “The most sophisticated recent research suggests that marriage itself increases the earning power of men on the order of 10 to 24 percent,” the brief states.

Popular culture maintains that marriage results in less money, sex and happiness for men. But that’s not true.

Married men are also more sexually satisfied than single or cohabiting men, the brief reveals. Pop culture parrots the assumption that married men have sex less often and less enjoyably, but “the research is indisputable.”

Finally, married men are happier and healthier overall than unmarried men, the brief concludes. They live almost 10 years longer (including men with cancer). They are even likely to eat more fruits and vegetables.

Still, the ball and chain myth is “ubiquitous in popular culture,” according to the brief. “This has undoubtedly had adverse consequences for men’s aspirations to marriage.”

For Some Men, Finding Marriage is a Struggle

Men aren’t the only ones better off in marriage. Research reveals that adults, children and ultimately communities fare better when stable families headed by married parents prevail. Both men and women are likely to be healthier and happier. Kids are more likely to graduate from high school, avoid teen pregnancy and stay out of jail when their parents are married.

But marriage is declining in developed nations. Sociologist Paula England wrote about this “retreat from marriage” Wednesday for the Institute for Family Studies blog. She notes that between 1970 and 2015, the number of married 25- to 34-year-olds declined by half.

Millennials are delaying marriage the most. TIME reported in 2014 that 25 percent of millennials will never get married. Gallup reported in 2016 that millennials are getting married later than Gen Xers and baby boomers.

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England explores why this is, particularly for men. She refers to the new book Cheap Sex by Mark Regnerus, published in September. Regnerus contends that the birth control pill, pornography and dating apps have made men less likely to marry. Thanks to these things, marriage is no longer a requirement for sex.

England agrees that this is part of the reason for the marriage decline. But she argues it’s more complicated. She looks at the decline of men in the labor force — especially of uneducated men.

“Only 83% of those with a high school degree or less were in the labor force by 2014,” she writes. While marriage among college-educated men is delayed, it’s still common. Men with less education, and therefore unstable or less lucrative employment, are more likely to never marry or get divorced.

Unemployment makes it tough for a man to find a wife. Today, society is more accepting of both husband and wife working than in eras past. But people still don’t like to see a husband without work, England notes. As TIME reported in 2014, “the quality most women want in a husband, somewhat unromantically, is a secure job.”

Judging from the research, marriage is great boost for men who manage it. But is it becoming hard to attain for those who might benefit from it the most?

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  • Concerned Christian

    It’s funny that we know men are better off and children are better off, but what about women?

    it seems the study assumes that women want to get married but can’t due to men. Could it be that women no longer need to get married for economic reasons are for child bearing reasons?

    Seems like we should look at both sides of the equation to better understand the issue?

    • Andrew Mason

      What issue? The study was about the state of masculinity in 2017, so femininity wasn’t relevant.

      Last I heard marriage was recognised as beneficial to women, however cultural expectations of women are changing. Historically women were largely responsible for raising the kids, and caring for the home. Now they’re also working so trying to do the same as a man, and still do their own work. That puts radical strain on them, with the result many marriage run into issues. Interestingly enough a previous article said that if given the opportunity, many (most?) women would prefer to work less, but that’s not the way the modern economy is designed.

      • Concerned Christian

        good points.

        I think a big part of the strain for both men and women is working without a purpose to advance. My wife stopped working after our first child was born. I heard a lot of naysayers saying that you can’t live off of one salary. My mom worked because she always felt that my Dad would have to work to hard to support our family. But he never wanted her to work.

        So when I was confronted with this, I remember my wife wanting to go out to eat with one of her friends. It hit me in my Spirit that my wife would not have to go without because we only had one source of income. I felt that if it was God’s will for her to stay at home, it was God’s will for her to be able to do the things that working women do. It was up to me to take advantage of the opportunities, God directed, to advance myself. I always think back to that as a very pivotal moment in my life

        So when I look at the strain that so many people go through, a lot of it centers on just not bettering yourself. This affects the individual which impacts the family, which ultimately impacts society.

    • Insidious Sid

      If women don’t need men anymore for financial reasons and to have kids, then why are most women so eager to “find a good man to marry” when their baby-making years come in their late 20’s early 30’s? Is it because they know it’s easier to get things going with two people and two incomes and she can just walk away with child support and alimony once the kids are settled into school? There seems to be a lot of these “Frivorces” going around lately. Too many women believe marriage is about “happily ever after” and “constant haaaaaaapy”. Well, neither life NOR marriage is like that. Only children (and too many women) seem to think this way. Women instigate 70% of divorces and in many cases the man does NOT want a divorce.

      So, since women no longer need men for finances and for child bearing, then I totally agree with you. Men should just avoid women and let women do what they want – have babies out of wedlock and let the government serve and protector and provider. There is no benefit in a man taking all of the risk to try and do this: most women just see men as disposable utilities now.

      • Concerned Christian

        Again, marriage is clearly not for you. 🙂

  • Daniel de Oliveira

    Because that’s, much probably, not true. Married men can’t speak what they really feel under the danger of harassment and condemnation.

    • Concerned Christian

      I disagree. There’s a huge difference between being strong and being a bully. Women and men can tell the difference.

      A man or woman too afraid to speak there mind is neither a strong man or woman. The same goes for a man or woman who’s easily offended!

  • pablo rom

    Marriage makes for happy men, according to a British study????? That’s a feminist fairy tale. Sorry to burst your bubble ladies but that’s a full load of crap, reality is, marriage in our matriarchy is simply toxic toward men, that’s why so many are going MGTOW.

    • Denny

      You sure brighten up a room, sunshine.

      • pablo rom

        I know, kind of sad actually – but I’m not the one who wrote the rules, I’m the one who breaks them; so yes, in a sense understanding the book of rules is brightening knowledge to many men.

      • Insidious Sid

        He brightens up my room. I like to hear from other men who have seen the light and know the truth. There is great power in our ever-growing numbers. We may not be saying what the “blue-pill” masses want to hear, but that’s okay. We want the truth, not the lies our mommies and daddies told us.

  • tz1

    1. Women want to marry up, so with most in College, a blue collar, even a successful good provider isn’t desired.
    2. Divorce is devastating, and in the era of no fault, or more properly man-fault divorce (see stats on custody and support), if the woman isn’t haaapy, she can blow things up, take the kids, get cash and prizes, and ruin the man’s life.
    3. Women are on sale in the second hand shop having lots of hook-ups in college with exciting alphas, and until their bioclock starts ticking loudly, they don’t want a decent good-guy provider. The earlier hookups were with bad-boy alphas and abortions (or antibiotics for the STDs) where the only difficulty.

    • Concerned Christian

      wow, is this really what you think of women?

      Of the people I’ve seen get divorced, without a doubt the man was the instigator.

      • pablo rom

        ???? What crap are you talking??? Close to 8 out of ten divorce procedures are initiated by women. Divorce is the soundest financial business in life for a woman. Nothing else compares. A good divorce and you’re set for life.

        • Concerned Christian

          Not sure where you’re getting that from. I think you might be pulling my leg. 🙂

          • I think it is actually about 2/3 are women, not 4/5. Somewhere in the ONS will be the data for the UK but it can take some unpicking to get to the final figure.

            In the USA, the CDC does what it can to compile data but it isn’t complete.

            (I have posted this comment with links to sources but I guess links cause a reply to remain in ‘pending’ and don’t get posted.)

          • Insidious Sid

            70% is the commonly accepted figure. Usually cited is 2/3 (67%) or 70%.

      • Insidious Sid

        ^this^ Add this to the many excellent reasons not to get married. Society in general, and the circle of friends and acquaintances (and all of HER family) will just ASSUME the “man couldn’t keep her happy”. No matter how hard a man tries to keep his family together, it’s always HIS FAULT when she decides to call it quits.

        • Concerned Christian

          yeah, marriage might not be for you. 🙂

          • Insidious Sid

            Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. When I pay child support / alimony, it mostly goes towards my own two children, or the betterment of their biological mother. All a win, in my mind. But to bring another partner on board makes no sense. When I committed to marriage and family I committed to serving her and our children. She’s gone, but the children are not. That doesn’t mean that I should attempt to “replace mommy” and worse yet, add some instant-siblings (another man’s children) into the mix. Some men feel they need to sacrifice a relationship with their own children so they can be more marketable and find another woman. I find that deplorable.

  • James

    That’s not surprising. Most married men are happy. But that’s because most unhappy married men are soon divorced.

    • I was about to say much the same thing. It seems a fairly obvious statistic which ignores the length of time the average man is happily married compared to the length of time the average man is unhappily divorced.

  • Arte Rebelo

    I have more sex when i was in college. And right now i have even more sex after my divorce, than with my wife after the kid was born. with my wife i have one year of good sex, but after the kid was born she refuse to have sex. One time for month. I divorce her. If you marry wait a lot of time to have kids. because your sex life going to be destroyed after the kid.

  • Insidious Sid

    Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. Now, as a divorced single-dad of two younger kids, I have ZERO desire to bring another woman on board (probably with kids of her own) to sap resources that are better spent on my own children. They say marry your equal – guess what – no women making as much as I do are willing to “marry across” – they are ALL wanting to marry up. Secondly, I cannot see how adding a woman’s budget to my budget would be feasible. Women typically control a lion’s share of the family’s disposable income regardless of what they bring in. Now, one might say “Well, if all you think about is money you’ll never find love/happiness!” I counter: ask any marriage counselor the top things couples fight about. Money is first, and sex is a close second.

    The problem today is women’s flightiness towards something as big as the commitment and marriage – not always haaaaaaapy 100% of the time? No problem. Divorce, pack up some resources and move on to the next guy. Trouble is, it’s MEN (NOT WOMEN) paying the vast majority of child support and alimony payments. Women are given financial incentives to not fight for but leave their marriages, this thanks to feminism, socialist-leaning governments, family law courts and what I like to the call the divorce industry. Add to that this throwaway “divorce culture” we live in, and all of her divorce family and friends saying “Don’t worry, just go! Be happy!” you have a recipe for disaster. There are simply too many things working against a man for him to consider marriage in this day and age and remarriage (trying to start again from square one) with the added financial burdens of the first divorce (on HIM) – it’s a simple NO for me.

    Men- stop trying to make women happy. They’re biologically wired to NEVER be happy with what they have. There is always something (and someone) better just on their horizon. I say the more strong and independent women are now the better!!

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