Ladies, Would You Rather Be Married to Mike Pence, or Anthony Weiner?

Male sexuality is real. We control it or it controls us.

By John Zmirak Published on March 31, 2017

The latest batch of manufactured outrage on the left has been produced by the Mike and Karen Pence profile that revealed some tools Mike uses to live out his marital vow of faithfulness. As Anika Smith wrote here at The Stream:

Mike and Karen Pence abide by a version of the Billy Graham Rule. In a 2002 interview, then- congressman Pence said he doesn’t drink without his wife present, nor does he dine alone with other women.

This common-sense rule stands out in a town like DC, where many, many marriages have fallen apart because of affairs.

As Smith’s piece pointed out, feminists on social media looked for ways to cast the Pences’ mutually agreed upon rule for their marriage as dehumanizing for women. Or something.

Are the women who mock the Pences for their marital plan ready to talk about Bill and Hillary’s arrangement?

It amazes me that the same secular relativists who will defend any sexual fetish will presume to remark on the details of a marriage. Aren’t both of the Pences “consenting adults”? If fidelity is their kink, who are we to judge?

And wasn’t it just five minutes ago that the same feminists were outraged that Donald Trump did not take steps to be faithful to his pre-Melania wives? That he acted and talked like a “player”? Morality changes so quickly on the left that it’s difficult to keep up.

Take the Survey, Girls

In fact, it’s really hard to believe that any woman who has ever been in love with a man genuinely objects to the Pence Plan. To test that out, I created a little Twitter poll, which appears below:

Any woman who actually felt “triggered” when she read about the Pences owes the rest of us her answer.

Of course, the response I expect instead is the typical feminist “audible eyeroll.” Then a lengthy and testy insistence that those aren’t the only options. Who am I to say that women need to pick among those four alternatives? “There you go again, limiting women’s options and depriving them of agency … just like you want to limit their reproductive health care options!”

The proper response to that, of course, is the line I’ve used before on college campuses: “Oh, I’m not really pro-life. I’m anti-choice. Life is cheap, and they’re only babies. I just want to restrict women’s reproductive health care options.” That ends the conversation, every time.

If I worked at a godless or a Jesuit college, or a big, timid corporation, I might expect to be summoned to Human Resources with a complaint from a nameless female co-worker that my Twitter poll made her feel “unsafe.”

There is No Fifth Option

The truth is that those four choices are exhaustive. You have to pick one. Just so, each man must pick which road he will travel down. In the moral life nothing is fixed. You are always in motion toward goodness and health or sin and sickness, till your last dying breath.

Mike Pence has clearly taken the measure of himself, and determined what he needs to do to keep his sexuality within the bonds of a loving marriage. For a handsome fellow in a position of power, his rules seem sane and sensible. They bespeak a man who knows the reality of temptation, who loves his wife and their marriage enough to take the simplest steps to protect them.

In the moral life nothing is fixed. You are always in motion toward goodness and health or sin and sickness

Male sexuality is a real thing, with a genuine shape that differs from the feminine variety. (Though both sexes clearly cheat, and women must stay on guard as well, as Chelen Vicari sagely notes.) The male sex drive is a force of nature, made strong for good biological reasons, and tainted (like everything else) by the Fall. Like anger, ambition, acquisitiveness, or any other drive it must be controlled. Or it controls us.

Or You Could Marry Bill Clinton

Which brings us to Option B, Bill Clinton. Are the women who mock the Pences for their marital plan ready to talk about Bill and Hillary’s arrangement? You know, where Bill cheats with weaker, poorer women, then bullies and blackmails them into silence with his wife’s sullen consent and active support?

I bring this up not solely to mock and humiliate the Clintons on a deeply personal issue. Bill Clinton could be the picture in the dictionary next to “Piggish Male Behavior.”

If a powerful man (like the governor of a state, or a vice president) wants to treat women this way, he will not be short of takers. But lesser men can get away with it too — as the tens of millions of single moms in America could testify. The generation of fatherless kids who are growing up today would back them up.

As grateful as they were that Bill was solidly pro-abortion, I don’t think most feminists would choose the Clinton option.

Carlos Danger Signals

Am I saying that if a man doesn’t take steps like Mike Pence, he will end up acting like Bill Clinton? No.

He could act like Anthony Weiner — humiliating a young and beautiful wife by dragging his sex drive through the bottomless online sewers of pornography and “sexting.”

There is plenty a man can get away with and get addicted to online without ever meeting a stranger in the flesh. I don’t think I need to spell this out, or to point out how damaging that can be to a healthy marriage. Skeptics can ask poor Huma.

So feminists won’t pick Weiner.

Pray for Bruce Jenner. Don’t Imitate Him, Even a Little

If they’re true to their theories, feminists would surely choose Bruce Jenner. Set aside the mental illness which drives the poor man to such gross extremes as dosing himself with dangerous drugs, humiliating his children and camping around in drag.

What feminists really claim to want from men is a milder version of Jenner: Someone who suppresses, beats down, and denies what it means to be a man. Who internalizes the guilt that feminism sprays men with like a firehose. And yet who (like Jenner) is somehow still attracted to women. A tame man, a damaged man, a man who is no threat at all.

At least that’s what feminists think they want. In fact, they’re probably secretly more attracted to Clinton. They’d be better off with Pence. What they’ll end up with is Weiner.

Who said that there’s no justice in the world?

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  • Howard Rosenbaum

    Seems like too many feminists have already married the Clinton, Weiner or even the rare Jenner archetypes. Perhaps a factor in their feminist affirmations. After all, what woman needs a feminist alternative to the Pence application of fidelity,friendship, family & fun ….?

  • Charles Burge

    Could the paucity of Pence-type men in the pool of bachelors be at least partially responsible for the decline in marriage? In other words, I suspect that many women do want such a man (even if they won’t admit it), but simply can’t find one (or don’t know where to look).

    • Micha_Elyi

      Generally, females get the kind of man they’re most receptive to. Notice the earlier comments by Queen Laura’s Ghost. It’s not that females have hunted such men to extinction, it’s that females aren’t hunting for such a man at all. And they’re raising their boys to model themselves on Bill Clinton. Where have all the good men gone? To wherever the females shooed ’em off to.

  • Queen Laura’s Ghost

    Am I allowed to say neither?

    • Clark Coleman

      Sure. But it would be good to explain, else there is no real discussion happening, just drive-by posting.

      • Queen Laura’s Ghost

        Okay. All men mentioned in this article are terrible in their own special ways. End of discussion.

  • SSipe

    Ah, man-splaining at its best. Just an fyi, women aren’t necessarily upset about the way in which the Pence’s live out their marital life. What women are irritated with is the fact that Pence will not dine, alone, with women, necessarily puts them at an inherent disadvantage when compared with their male counterparts.

    • Micha_Elyi

      Without mansplaining, some females would know nothing. Don’t “some women” me!

  • Linda

    Don’t take this hyperbolic bait readers. Note that he didn’t say choose between Mike Pence and Barack Obama…

    • Adriana Pena

      Not to mention Jimmy Carter.

      • Micha_Elyi

        I didn’t notice either Jimmy Carter nor Barack Obama being mocked last week for their marital fidelity in even the second-tier of the Establishment Media.

        Perhaps you and Linda are unfamiliar with “compare and contrast”.

  • Ginger Ploris

    The full truth is that people dissociate, and sexual abuse is rampant, even if it is not remembered. And triggers are what determine a mood/ego state/opinion, which makes both men and women contradict themselves from time to time. In this case, women who are in the midst of a sexual-abuse mind-state will be hyper-sexualized, narrow, immoral, playful, and into having a good time, favoring the antics of men who have cheated on their wives. Women who are in more well-adjusted or hurt mind-states will side with conservatism. What’s missing from all of these Pence debates is that father-son abuse is more common than anyone knows, and so the gender of a one-on-one meeting is often irrelevant for those in the know about these types of problems. Women should not feel vocationally threatened by a man’s decision to not dine or drink alone with them. There are ways to bring along a third party, set up accountability and structure, etc. However, if you are beautiful, smart, funny, and maybe even very moral, moral men will fear being alone with you, and there is nothing wrong with them knowing themselves and wanting to take precautions. I can’t believe everyone thinks we should be able to turn off our natural attraction tendencies all in the name of men and women working together: It sounds good, but attraction is how we were designed.

  • Adriana Pena

    Why choose (dirty joke of the month) Weiner as counterpart, when you could have Jimmy Carter? Jimmy is a faithful husband, and he never engaged in such ostentatious displays of guarding his virtue.

    • Linda

      Or Barack Obama

      • Howard

        Few people can react to Obama independently of their politics. It’s the same with Trump. Take away the politics, and no woman in her right mind would want to be married to any man with a marital history like his. Because of politics, though, many women would answer Trump.

        Out of fairness, though, it probably would have been better to have chosen someone like current GOP congressman Mark Sanford as one of the bad alternatives.

    • Howard

      Carter admitted to “lusting in his heart” in an interview in Playboy. You might not choose to call the interview “ostentatious”, but it was remarkably poor judgment. As for his comment, it showed him to be biblically literate (something less rare then than today) and to hold himself to the high standard that is demanded of all Christians. Like Pence, he was mocked for the comment.

      • Micha_Elyi

        I read the Carter interview in Playboy just a few months after it became a topic in the news. I did so in order to judge it for myself because even four decades ago the mainstream press was surprisingly ignorant about Christian belief. In its context, I did not find that comment to be at all salacious. The fault-finders in the Establishment Media construed it that way in order to sell what today we call Fake News. As someone raised Catholic (although poorly), I was startled by how many of Carter’s fellow Protestants who called themselves “Bible believing” hadn’t a clue what the biblical context of Carter’s remark was.

        • Howard

          I agree with all that. However, I think it was bad judgment to agree to an interview by Playboy under any circumstances.

    • James

      Carter and Pence are very similar in their personal life, even though they have very different politics.

      The dislike of Pence has little to do with his marriage and everything to do with his politics. A Democrat who did the same things would be held up as an ideal husband.

  • Ryan

    Actually I think many women find Clinton attractive…which shocks me. But they either don’t believe he has actually taken advantage of women…or they think he’s been treated unfairly…or all the scandals are lies…or who knows what.

    • Micha_Elyi

      Some females have a boundless capacity for self-hypnosis.

  • Easterbeliever

    As I find that most women, and men, don’t even know what they want, I find this discussion irrelevant. And if they think they know what they want, they may be fooling themselves. Sorry, no disrespect to the writer intended.

  • cjsmaq

    Hands down Mike Pence!

  • James

    This article is as dumb as asking women if they would rather be married to Barack Obama, Donald Trump, Mark Sanford, or Ted Haggard.

    • Micha_Elyi

      I disagree. But if you like, you’re free to ask women of your acquaintance if they’d rather be Mrs. Mike Pence’s only wife or Donald Trump’s fourth wife.

  • Alan

    I agree with the author that we should respect the ground rules that consenting adults decide to lay down in their marriage. If this rule works best for you, go for it! The problem arises when people then generalize from there to say that *all* monogamous, heterosexual married couples need this rule to be successful because men are *always* uncontrollably tempted by women. That’s dehumanizing to men since it paints them as animals driven by base instincts when instead they should be given credit for being people that have the ability to control their behavior.

    The truth is that there is a wide spectrum of heterosexual men out there because everyone differs in how much self-control they have in different areas of life, or how prone to addiction they are. When Mike Pence says he won’t have dinner alone with a woman, it’s like an alcoholic telling me they can’t go to restaurants that serve alcohol without their sponsor. To which I say “Wow, that’s hard, but it’s so admirable that you know yourself and found a way to manage your addiction. Good for you for using strategies to keep your life under control!” This would be manageable except that the problem here is that Mike Pence is an alcoholic who is also the CEO of a restaurant company, and half of his restaurants serve alcohol and half don’t. Maybe he finds a way to equally attend to the needs of both sets of restaurants. That would be wonderful! But the risk of him neglecting the alcohol-serving restaurants is too great and should make him re-think his career choices.

    I see many people are applauding Mike Pence for being the rare man that follows Christian values in an increasingly secular world, but I’m applauding him for being the rare man who has a sex addiction, knows he has an addiction, and has taken successful steps to make sure it doesn’t take over his life. It takes real strength to share his story! In the meantime, I have reason to be concerned that his personal issue impacts his professional ability to serve all genders of US voters and White House staffers equally.

    • Micha_Elyi

      Avoiding the near occasion of sin doesn’t mark one as having a Clintonesque “sex addiction”. Also, voters don’t have genders. They have one of two sexes. I have reason to be concerned about those who claim “to be concerned” that Vice-President Pence’s prudence “impacts” his ability to serve all “US voters and White House staffers equally”.

      • Dominic Stockford

        Quite so, well said.

      • ESSYAL

        While I agree that the Pences have every right to make their own choices about their marriage, I think this rule has implications about Pence’s state of mind that actually could be relevant to his ability to do his job has Vice President.
        The fact that Pence feels he cannot be alone with a woman without cheating on his wife implies that he feels he cannot control his own behavior. As he is second in line to run an entire country, this is troubling.
        Furthermore, this rule implies that Pence sees women, first and foremost, as sexual objects, or at the very least that their potential to be sexual objects outweighs anything else about them. I have a hard time believing that this kind of attitude would not hinder his ability to do his job of serving all US voters equally.

  • Dominic Stockford

    For every man who cheats there is a woman who also does so. It can be no other way. As someone’s wife once said “Just say no!”

  • Karen

    i will celebrate my 30th wedding anniversary next month with a guy who somehow managed to have lunch with the women he supervised without ravishing them.

    Your rules mean that women will never advance in the workplace because we will be denied the kind of mentoring relationships required for such advancement. Of course, I’ve read your writing for a long time and keeping women as domestic drudges is what you want.

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