Michael Buesing is a 31-year old Christian husband and father of two young girls. It takes just a few moments with him to see how much his faith and family mean to him.

But he wasn’t always that way. For years he was much more widely known as “HC One Stick” — the handle he used while earning multiple world records in the online shooter game Halo. He’s world famous among players of the game. But Michael isn’t playing Halo anymore. He’s found his identity elsewhere.

I met with him at a corner café table at the church he attends in Liberty Township, Ohio. Here’s what he shared with me, edited for length. What follows here is told in his own words.

“I Could Just Be Myself”

I was working in the yard with my dad one day and I told him I’d really like to get an Xbox to play Halo. He said okay, and the first time I played it I got hooked. I was a lot better at it than I thought I was going to be. It was more dynamic and more responsive than other shooter games I’d played before. It’s a very highly active, “first-person shooter” which means instead of being behind the camera you’re in the camera, with a first-person point of view. It’s fast-paced. You play against other teams, shooting “bad guys.”

I found out there were tournaments in my area. I went not knowing how I’d do, but I kept getting first place. It was nice because I would deal with my bullying issues and the issues I had in school. I’d come home and I’d have my release where I could just be myself.

Gaming does that for a lot of people: it helps you cope with stuff. No matter how bad the pressure is you can always get that release.

Going Pro, Setting Records

A couple years down the line Major League Gaming came along. I thought I’d never make it there, but I played for about four years on the professional circuit. I got sponsorships from gaming companies, but it was mostly for the love of the game.

One day I checked out a website called HaloCharts where you could check where you ranked in the world. There’s a weapon called a Plasma Grenade you can throw and stick on people, and it blows up after three seconds. I thought, “I’m pretty good at this; let me see where I place in the world.” So I looked, and, holy cow, number one! Not even close to second place. My record was about 10,000 sticks; second place was about 2,000.

So from there I went at it full-bore, and as of today I still have four world records to my name for plasma grenade sticks.

HC One Stick — Michael’s former Halo persona

I wanted to go full-bore and be the best at what I was doing. I’d stay at home late at night while other people were going out partying, and I’d practice plasma grenade throws. I’d figure out how to bounce them off walls and corners, and I’d do it over and over again so I’d know where it would hit every time. The records I set with it were off the charts. I’d get gaming requests from people all over the world, and I’d always be glad to have those games with whoever asked.

It was cool because it identfied my niche and my identity; I hadn’t known my identity my entire life until I met my wife and then became a Christian. A lot of me was identified by my “gamer” tag.

It wasn’t that I was violent. There are lots of misconceptions there. I think the reason you find a lot of video gaming among kids who do turn violent is because they’ve been doing it to cope with what’s going on in their real life.

Relationships Check: Family and Friends

The big thing that changed in me was my wife. She got me back to my faith. We married in 2004 (and if I’ve remembered that year wrong she’ll kill me!). I met her on a cruise in the Mediterranean [Michael still works in the family business of travel and tourism]. At the end of thirteen days on that cruise, I told my dad “she’s the one.” Six months later I moved to Ohio where she lived, and we got married.

HC One Stick was my gamer handle. That was me. But now I’m known as Michael. As a husband. As a father. As a Christian. That’s my identity now.

I told her once, “Hey, I’ve got four world records in this game called Halo.” and all she said was, “That’s nice.” I thought, “Holy ___! There goes my whole gaming career in a flash.” It was like, “Wow, I’ve got to get used to that.”

My friendships up to that point were all online, people who lived in other states. We’d talk like normal people, except online. Still I’d be staying up all night playing these games, and I’d realize it was taking a toll on my real relationships. It was how I identified myself. I was known as “that guy.” HC One Stick was my gamer handle. That was me. But now I’m known as Michael. As a husband. As a father. As a Christian. That’s my identity now.

I still do gaming, but I don’t play Halo because I want it to be more casual and I can’t play Halo casually. When I retired from Halo I went cold turkey because when I’d pick up that controller it would flip a switch in me. Now instead it’s just hanging out with friends online.

Spiritual Life Check: Following Jesus Christ

I’d been raised in church, but it was never anything more than going through the motions. My wife said, “Hey, let’s go find a church.” This one was a whole new experience. Our pastor lives literally two doors away. He invited us and we came, and I sat in the front row, and I was literally mesmerized. The service and the message brought a black-and-white religion into full color.

Then our daughters Brianna and Arianna came along. Now it’s different for me. My wife is a pharmacist and I can work from home, so I’m a stay-at-home dad.

Identity Check: Christian Husband and Dad

Gaming has both positive and negative sides. With Grand Theft Auto and other high crime and violence games like that, a lot of those kids are trying to find their identity, and “How can I escape the world I’m in right now.”

I’ve found my identity. It’s in being a good husband, a good father and a good Christian. It’s a daily fight every day — but a lot different from fighting online.

I was just telling someone today that one of the hardest fights you’ll ever have in your life is being married. But it’s one of the most rewarding. If you find that person who fits that struggle with you it’s great.

They talk about different “drugs of choice” people use to feel better, from literal drugs to sports to whatever. For fifteen years gaming was my drug of choice.

Now it’s not a drug. It’s being a Christian husband and dad.