I’ve had it with exhortations to love more, or better, or longer. In my youth I sang the song, “What the world needs now is love, sweet love … .” I know we should love our neighbors, heck, even our enemies. I can see the damage being done between religious and political rivals. I wish the world would just stop fighting and love one another. Still, if I hear another preacher tell me to love more, I’m calling the police to stop the harassment. Surely in today’s environment there must be some regulation that would stop such people from making me feel uncomfortable. Aren’t my human rights being violated?

Jesus said, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments” (John 14:15). For years I interpreted that to mean I could and should show my love by keeping Jesus’ commands. In other words, I was focused on “keeping” rather than “loving.” I should have noticed that such an interpretation, though consistent with popular religion, was contrary to the teaching of Jesus. He made it very clear that we cannot love until we have been loved. We cannot give what we don’t have. We cannot tell what we don’t know.

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:34-35).

The kind of love that was revealed in Jesus is of divine origin. It is galaxies beyond the kind of love humans can generate. He had no need to use people for His own acceptance or significance. He didn’t need to be vindicated; there was nothing pressuring him to manipulate others to His view. He loved with nothing to gain personally — nothing but the joy of seeing another person being built up and blessed. And He didn’t have the need to make sure others knew how well He was doing at loving.

When we have been touched by the delight of God’s love, we can’t help but pass it on. In fact, it would be safe to say that if we are not sharing His love, we don’t really have it. This love is God’s nature. Some think that before creation, He was so thrilled with the love shared between the persons of the Godhead, He wanted to share it with others, and that’s why He created a universe that could experience the same joy He had.

Whether that’s the reason He created us or not, we know God wants to share His love. And if God meant to share it, wouldn’t those loved by Him do the same? Jesus demonstrated it in His life, death, resurrection, and ascension. He fixed it so that humans could know God as Father, and in that relationship be fully satisfied. They would have no need to prove themselves. They would have no fear of want. They would not need to put others down in order to rise. They would be able to risk loving because they are safe in his care. In short, they could love — and love doing it.

Trying to love like Jesus does, without being loved by Him, is like trying to breathe without air. It’s much more taxing than living by religious standards of behavior. We could technically keep the outward commands of Jesus behaviorally without loving Him, but we cannot accept His love without responding in obedience to His words.

His love didn’t just open the door to heaven when we die. It opened the door to share His life now. We get to be partners with Him, as He loves the world He created. We get to be free from our own agendas because we are captured by His. He is meeting all our needs so that we don’t demand others to serve us. Living in His love releases us from the anchor of self-obsession and empowers us to be the display of His love.

If love seems hard to you, check to see whether you are focused on keeping His commands or on loving the one who loves you so much. Loving precedes keeping — and you will love it.