“My life in this moment is something I would have never imagined or dreamt for myself, but it is the path the Lord has ordained for me to walk,” Jessica Lusk wrote on her blog. She’s talking about the loss of her husband in a drowning accident this past January. She’s learning to walk in grace during the most difficult part of her life. To care for her baby girl, not yet nine months old when her daddy died. 

But her grace is evident and she leans on the Lord daily. 

In an interview with The Stream, Jessica remembers her husband as a loving and kind husband and father. The couple had bought property with a 44-acre lake in their backyard. For the last year, Jessica’s husband, Cody, had been renovating their house. It was the ideal place for Cody — he fished whenever he got the chance. 

One night, he decided to run some trot lines and jug lines. At about 8:30 p.m., Cody called Jessica to ask her to bring a jacket and a cap to the dock. Even now, she remembers every detail. She placed the cap on her daughter’s head and carried the jacket to Cody. Cody kissed baby Abby and prepared to go back out. “We always kissed when we parted,” said Jessica, “but for whatever reason we didn’t.” She remembers stopping to think about it at the edge of the dock, then turning back toward the house. 

At 9:50 p.m., Cody texted Jessica once again. This time it was to tell her how thankful he was for their family and how blessed they were. “They were beautiful messages,” she recalled. At 10:31 Cody told her he was going back out to check the lines. That was the last time she heard from him.

At 1:49 in the morning Jessica awoke. “I had a gut-sinking feeling something was wrong. I got a flashlight and went to the pier to call him.” But the lake was soupy with fog and she couldn’t see anything. Between the hours of 2:00 a.m. and 7 a.m. Jessica went to the pier three times to check. Nothing. 

At 6:00 a.m. she texted her neighbor to see if maybe Cody had gone there or if she knew anything. At 8:00 a.m. the neighbor texted back that she hadn’t seen Cody. Several neighbors got in their boats and drove back and forth on the lake looking for him. At 9:00 a.m. a neighbor told her to call 911. She didn’t know it then, but they’d found some of Cody’s belongings floating on the lake.

Jessica started to drive to the other side of the lake, but was stopped by a deputy. He told her it was best if she’d go home. Someone would be by to talk to her later. “In that moment I knew that he was gone,” she said. “He would’ve been with me if he was alive.”

Although she had been praying that they’d find Cody, on the fourth day of the search she and her mom entered her prayer room — the prayer room Cody had made for her — and petitioned the Lord. The women worshiped God and prayed. “I just knew he would be found the next day,” she recalled. The next day she walked down to the dock. “I prayed, ‘Lord please clear the water, allow the boats to go exactly where his boat is.'” Within seconds, that prayer was answered. She realized that she could never be prepared for her new reality.

Even so, the next few days she felt like a new person. “All I could think about was that Cody is home in glory. That consumed me. I had joy and peace unspeakable. I wasn’t thinking about him not being with me or Abby.” Many people were “standing in the gap” for her and because of that, Jessica said she felt the presence of the Lord in every area.

But things returned to normal for some and Jessica found herself making decisions about everyday life. She was now a single mom. “He doesn’t get to see her and she doesn’t get to see him. I don’t allow it to consume me. It’s during these times your faith grows. This is in His divine plan. He is in control. I had to stay focused on that.” And she is not lost on the fact that God has placed people in her life who are “amazing.” “You can’t do life by yourself,” she said. 

One of those friends is her former employer, Janis Harris. Jessica worked for Janis’ real estate company prior to Cody’s death. In an interview with The Stream, Janis said that Jessica’s faith is an inspiration to her and many others. “I call her my little hero. Her walk with the Lord is just so strong.”

Since Cody’s death, Jessica has spent time writing and blogging. It’s her passion, she said. She’s writing a manuscript on her and Cody’s marriage testimony and hopes that it will be published one day. From what she’s learned, “Walking through this time in life and still be able to praise God has helped others.” And that’s what she hopes will happen with her book. “God willing, [my hope is that] I’ll complete this project and that it touches others’ lives.”

Janis believes Jessica’s writing is therapeutic. It can also help someone else in their darkest moments. “None of our sorrows are wasted,” Janis explained. “We walk through it, we live it and [God] uses it to ‘pay it forward.’ Someday [we] can help somebody else.”

As for Jessica, she’s going to be okay. “The Lord is continuing to work in me. He is bringing me to a place of peace I have never experienced in my life … I want to live by Nehemiah 8:10 ‘This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.'”