Finding My Father: One Woman’s Story of Hurt, Healing and Hope — and How the Gospel Changed Everything

By Nancy Flory Published on October 18, 2021

Blair Linne grew up fatherless. She lived in poverty and moved 25 times over a span of 16 years — from shelters to friends’ homes to apartments. Blair’s mom struggled like so many single moms do. She tried to offer Blair and her siblings the best life that she could. But in Blair’s book, Finding My Father: How the Gospel Heals the Pain of Fatherlessness, Blair said her mother could not take her father’s place. She needed a father in her life.

Blair also struggled with respect for authority and finding her own identity. “It was wrestling with this part of me that was missing from my life, this kind of half of me in my father that wasn’t there.” The few times she spoke with him during a year didn’t make for a very meaningful relationship. But once Blair met Christ, everything changed. “The Lord really ministered to me through my own pain and heartache related to not having my dad in the home.”

She knew that so many others were struggling for the same reason. That’s why she decided to write Finding My Father. “I figured I, through sharing my story and being pretty raw and transparent, might be able to present hope for those who are fatherless and also encouragement to the church who are called to care for the fatherless. I just wanted to put myself out there, if it might benefit someone else.”

The Beauty of Being a Christian

One of the first things that the Lord taught Blair was to be honest and open with Him about her struggles. That’s the beauty of being a Christian. “We have God as our Father. He knows it all anyway. We don’t have to hold any pretenses. … We can strip ourselves bare and He’s able to meet us right where we are.”

Our Heavenly Father is our true Father — our earthly father should be a mirror of that relationship, although sometimes it isn’t. Blair learned to lean on Him instead of giving in to her pain. The Lord gave her Himself, “which is a blessing because I can go to Him, I can ask Him for what I need.” Christ transformed her life through the Gospel and gave her the church as her family. “So, there’s a way that I can go to my brothers and sisters and my spiritual mothers and fathers and say, “I need help. Here’s where I’m lacking. This is what I didn’t have.'” Blair used the resources that the Lord provided for her. “I think that’s the way … that we can grow in our life because we can’t change what happened, but we can change how we respond to what’s happened to us.”

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Blair’s book is about her own struggle with fatherlessness and embracing her Heavenly Father. It’s about finding her earthly father and forgiving him for not being there, whatever the reason. But it’s also about the importance of fathers and how they can mirror the Heavenly Father, who loves infinitely and fully. 

“Fathers are important. All of the statistics make it clear. What the Scriptures make clear is that men are important. Fathers matter. We need them in our lives. And certainly because of the fall, oftentimes they may not be there, but the Lord is even able to bring beauty in ashes. He’s able to take our very hard situations and turn them around for His glory.”

 

Nancy Flory, Ph.D., is an associate editor at The Stream. You can follow her @NancyFlory3, and follow The Stream @Streamdotorg.

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