Finally Revealed: How Russia Rigged The Election

Shocking new details emerge.

By William M Briggs Published on April 1, 2017

(editors’ note: April Fools)

It was early on the morning of July 6, 2016, in the heat of the election battle between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump.* Yuri Svetlopov made his way from the Motel 6 off of Interstate 77 to the Johnson Exhibition Hall in downtown Charlotte, North Carolina. FBI surveillance tapes show that Svetlopov arrived at 10:13 AM, about four hours before a scheduled joint speech by Hillary Clinton and then-president Barack Obama.*

Security footage taken outside the Johnson Hall, recently released by FBI Director James Comey, indicates that by 10 AM on that morning a large crowd had already gathered to hear Mrs. Clinton speak. Crowd estimate experts put the figure in the two to three-thousand persons range.

But then Svetlopov arrived. He is a small, ordinary man. Tapes reveal that morning he was bald, unshaven, with brown glasses, and wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt under his green jacket. The tapes clearly show Svetlopov lighting a cigarette in the parking lot. At 10:14 AM, Svetlopov was seen walking into the crowd.

From that point, his movements cannot be exactly traced. But one thing is certain. By 10:15 AM, the crowd waiting outside the Hall began to diminish. At 10:13 AM, there were between 2,000-3,000 people. By 10:50 AM, footage reveals about 1,500 people.

And by 12:58 PM, there were only about two hundred fifty individuals left.

The FBI isn’t certain, but security camera footage also showed three semi-trucks from the Crimean Meat Co. that entered and left the Exhibition Hall’s parking lot. At the time, nobody thought anything about it. This was the company contracted to provide the pigs-in-a-blanket sausages that Mrs. Clinton insists be served at every venue at which she appeared.

Only now a more horrific theory has emerged.

A source high up in the FBI revealed that the same Crimean Meat Co. trucks were spotted at nineteen of twenty-three events in June and July of 2016. These events include a July 14th Seattle book signing and fundraiser. Publishers anticipated “maybe a thousand [people]” would show to the book signing, but only “some two dozen” did.

“Nothing else but sinister Russian activities could account for the lack of enthusiasm for Hillary at these events,” said the source.

The source could not place Svetlopov at the Seattle event. But the source said that what they knew of his travel did allow Svetlopov enough time to arrive at Seattle and later appear in Miami, Florida at another Hillary event. At the Miami event, agents are certain they spotted the same Iron Maiden t-shirt in the small crowd.

“Nothing else but sinister Russian activities could account for the lack of enthusiasm for Hillary at these events,” said the source.

Director Comey corroborated this theory when he revealed two photos. The first was an early photo of a man who was a known Hillary supporter. A second, later, photo was of the same man wearing a “MAGA” hat. MAGA was shorthand for Donald Trump’s slogan “Make America Great Again.”

The most chilling part of this shocking evidence was that this man was one of the people first lined up at the Charlotte event but who never made it inside the Hall. The FBI source said that interviews with this man, whose name is not being released, were not productive.

The source said, “All the man told us was that he met ‘some guy’ in line at the Hall who offered to ‘take him for a nice drive.’ Then, during this ride, the man changed his mind about voting for Hillary.” The man refused to reveal further details about himself, despite repeated queries.

Yuri Svetlopov also disappeared. There were no more sightings until a fuzzy photograph of him emerged from a Moscow Vodka Hall appeared on Instagram in December, 2016. The Instagram account belonged to Anatoly Kuznetsov, who has known associations with Vladimir Putin.

“You can paint your own picture about what happened,” said the source. “There are too many coincidences for comfort.”

This evidence is in addition to an incident noted outside a Baltimore polling station. Witnesses report that a man dressed as a woman “speaking with a Slavic accent” emerged from the polling station with several pencils with worn erasers.

The man might have got away. But a local television station was conducting post-vote interviews, and this man, clearly wearing a bright red, ill-fitting wig, was asked for his opinion on the election. “I changed no vote,” he said, and quickly moved off camera.

FBI agents acknowledged they are now looking for evidence of penetrations at other polling locations.

Director Comey said, “All the best Hollywood celebrities and media personalities agree Russia hacked the 2016 election. It’s my job to prove these people right.”

*Editors’ note: April Fools.

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  • azsxdcf1

    April fools? Really? I was not prepared for that in this medium called “The Stream.” I’m OK… and I like to laugh, but in this emotional, sensational, political environment, this fake FAKE news is an emotional commotion I could have done without.

    • Vivianne

      You have my sincerest pity. Hope you haven’t been damaged for life.

  • jayceej

    I enjoyed the disappearing Hillary supporters with the hint of the sausage pigs-ina-blanket. I knew then it was a joke, then remembered it is April 1. Ha!

  • Stephen C

    My wife had just complained to me that after taking the time to read this article she was not too happy seeing the “April Fools” note at the end.
    I haven’t read it and now, of course, I probably will not.
    Maybe we do need to lighten up a little, I don’t know but I totally agree with her that this was silly and a total waste of precious time.
    Perhaps someone may just read a portion, not see the note, believe it to be true because they read it on “The Stream” only to pass on and perpetuate more false news.
    It may be fun but is it wise?

  • Vivianne

    Relax, complainers. A little April Fools fun is not such a waste of time. Thanks, The Stream, for a few moments of fun.

  • Howard Rosenbaum

    When I read the headline , “Finally revealed ..” I was prepared for a little satire. What I didn’t anticipate however, was the shocking similarity between the fictional character “Yuri” & the many small ordinary looking bald & unshaven men almost everywhere. Get this, many were also wearing glasses w/rims & most had a cigarette pursed between their lips. This is no ordinary coincidence. Wait, theres more. Many of these incidental sightings came both before & after the election. Look , I know the Russians have trained their agents well. They are masters of subterfuge. How else can you explain Hillary’s failure to win enough electoral votes to capture the crown she has been rehearsing for her entire adult life ?! It should be obvious. CNN, the NYT’s, MSNBC & a host of other credible sources of unimpeachable character cannot possibly all be wrong about this.
    Russia had to have been involved. Trump couldn’t have possibly stolen this election w/out them. It was those bald unshaven men wearing glasses w/rims. They are your connection to the Kremlin’s ties w/Trump. They were the ones trained in the Russian art of mind melting stationed at polling places everywhere except California, NY & the small handful of other states
    where even the best practitioners of the art of the mind melt would not be able to penetrate the one track mind of those staunch Hillary supporters. So, what reason did those Ruskie’s have for backing Trump? Didn’t Hillary give them enough uranium to seal the deal ? Didn’t Podesta wheel & deal w/them on satisfactory terms? Didn’t Bill entrance them w/his fiscally induced speeches? Heres the only reasonable explanation. Melania. She was born in Slovenia, then part of the soviet controlled Yugoslavia. She was at an early age programed to marry an American president. Her beauty & intelligence more than persuaded the soviets that she was the right choice for this lifelong mission. How else can you explain the attraction between this beauty & a man over twenty years her senior? What other reason would a billionaire playboy trade his lifestyle for a highly regimented political life under constant accusation by the millions who would prefer to see him euthanized rather than eulogized ? Now that she has a POTUS in her control, remember the mind melts, Russia can finally control the free world. Hey, that makes at least as much sense as anything else you might hear on CNN ….

    • Vivianne

      Too bad this was too long to read.

      • Howard Rosenbaum

        Sure, it was also to long to write …

        • Vivianne

          No thanks. I’ll leave it to those who like to be spoon-fed someone else’s opinions.

  • faithful

    This absolutely insane and ‘theory’. We know for fact that Comey has long….long history with the Clintons, way before Obama. How can you keep giving these ‘stories’ life, bad enough the bought and paid media presents it… must we eat it this – it’s poison, slow acting, keep your eyes on the Russian plot while the Clintons & Obama gain precious Soros ground with the idiots and hide the real news about them and we se how corrupted and devious and sick they really are. This is attention away from the real findings – I think they are scared knowing Trump is getting closer to exposing them….

  • faithful

    Oh No, April Fool – you got me!

  • lighthouseseeker

    Hoo hoo! Too funny, my first for this April 1st…

  • John Ingram

    Well done, Mr. Briggs!

  • good one !

  • Jay Mort

    No doubt this will be on the front page of every newspaper owned by soros come Monday, going by recent trends of “the industry”.

  • MikeW

    Even more shocking — the FBI has revealed that several of Trump’s staff were observed consuming Russian dressing on their salads at restaurants they visited during the campaign. Prominent Democrats have demanded an independent prosecutor to pursue this line of investigation further.

  • Alice Cheshire

    Come on. We all know Putin was working for Hillary. She already gave him 50% of this country (she and Obama) and he was assured she was owed the Presidency and would win and give him the other half providing he made a sizable contribution to the Clinton Foundation. He is now ANGRY that Obama and Hillary lied, but had no choice but to take their word for it that pretending he got Trump elected would result in Trump being impeached and a new election held. After all, the whole election was stolen by the Russians and we can’t have Pence in either. So Putin continues the ruse about Trump. You know, I thought Putin was a smart guy—until now.

  • Linda

    For anyone who didn’t realize this was a joke by the 6th paragraph, oh my goodness, that explains perfectly how this President was elected.

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