An apparatchik at a branch of our country’s most prominent abortion factory last week tweeted, “Some men have a uterus,” and repeated the phrase eleven times.

Some men have a uterus.
Some men have a uterus.
Some men have a uterus.
Some men have a uterus.
Some men have a uterus.
Some men have a uterus.
Some men have a uterus.
Some men have a uterus.
Some men have a uterus.
Some men have a uterus.
Some men have a uterus.

— Support Abortion Providers: bitly.com/ABheroes (@PPIndKentucky) March 2, 2018

Now this was very curious. I had done a lot of work in medicine, but as a statistician and not an anatomist. I had never run into, nor heard of, a man with a uterus. But what did I know? I could have been mistaken.

So I reached out to the prominent gynecologist Dr. Manos Suaves* and asked, “Do some men have a uterus?”

“No,” he said.

“Not even in a place we haven’t yet looked because insurance won’t cover the test? Or in a vestigial sense?”

“No,” he said.

Uh-oh

Two things sprang to mind. One, the people who are buying parts from aborted babies had better check the merchandise carefully. When human beings are that small, it’s hard to tell the difference between a spleen and a uterus, especially if the parts have been filtered through a vacuum. And given the questionable legality of the purchase, who is going to ask for their money back?

Two, since it is clear that no man has a uterus, but that this (presumably) woman said they did, and that this woman by virtue of her position is surely educated and would know basic medicine, she must have meant something else besides the plain-English “Some men have a uterus.”

What could this something else be?

Words Have Meaning

She might have meant that uterus was not a womb strictly, but any reproductive organ in general. Men have reproductive organs. Therefore, if uterus is taken to mean any reproductive organ, then it is true some men have a uterus. (Some in logic includes the possibility of all.)

This interpretation is not likely. Why repeat an obvious truth, agreed to by all, eleven times? Likewise, we can reject that by some she meant no, as in no man has a uterus. In the same vein, we can dismiss the idea that have meant do not have.

That leaves men.

What Makes a Man?

In plain English, men is a group of biological males. She can’t have meant that. Instead, as might by now be clear, she invoked Gender Theory to redefine male. According to this academic rage, a male has no biological characteristics whatsoever: it is a gender, which itself is an attitude, a desire, a mental state.

To avoid confusion with English, let us prefix any Gender Theory word with mental, e.g. mental-gender, mental-male, mental-uterus, and so on.

According to Gender Theory, a mental-gender is anything a person wants to be. A person can be mental-gay, mental-straight, mental-cis, mental-queer, mental-trans, and on and on.

That “on and on” is to be taken in a literal sense. There is no end to gender classifications. And cannot be an end, either, since they are all based on desire, and desire is infinitely various. There are already “on the books” at least a hundred of common gender-based terms, with new ones added weekly.

Try Again

With this in mind, let’s re-write the tweet using our prefix for clarity: “Some mental-women have a mental-uterus.” Since a mental-woman is a man (no prefix) who thinks he is a woman, and anybody can have the desire to have a uterus, the tweet is now true. The tweet can also be true if mental-uterus is taken to mean duderus.

What’s a duderus? Well, a mental-uterus. The word was coined in sincerity by a man who identified himself as mental-woman (he obviously did not use the prefix).

He was answering the original tweet and revealed himself to be in mental-possession of this mental-uterus. Meaning, as our prefix tells us, in possession of the desire to be female and have a uterus. Since he is a man, the poor fellow will never have more than these desires.

This is so even if some madman with a knife carves out a hole in him where a uterus would go (if he were female), and inserts into this hole something uterus-shaped. This is because a uterus is much more than an organ. It is an attached and integral part of a female, regulated by certain areas of the brain, nerves and endocrine system, and so forth.

Useful Advice

There just is no such thing as sex-change surgery. A person’s sex is fixed. But there is mental-sex-change surgery. This is to be in the possession of the desire that a scalpel has made a person into what they are not.

The next time you see anything related to Gender Theory, re-write it using the prefix. Think of it in terms of the possession of a desire, and not a thing. You’ll be amazed at how clear everything becomes!

* Just kidding. This is Spanish for “soft hands.