Attorney General William Barr was ordered by Democrats to appear before the House Judiciary Committee today. Here’s a 30 second summary of his appearance:

The Opening

Chairman Jerry Nadler: “You are a horrible person doing only the bidding of that devil Donald Trump.”

Ranking Minority Member Rep. Jim Jordan. “Rep. Nadler says the Antifa riots and violence are a ‘myth.’ As sportscaster George Michaels used to say, ‘Let’s go to the tape.'”
 
(Shows long montage of the outrageous violence and assaults on police and agents at the hands of anarchists.)

Chairman Jerry Nadler: “You didn’t give us warning you were going to offer proof!”

Attorney General Barr: “My opening statement: I didn’t need this job. But I’m doing my job. I’m following the law and trying to clean up the mess left by Obama’s ‘wingman’ Eric Holder, Hillary and Bill’s BFF Loretta Lynch and James Comey. And while I’m here, can at least one of you admit that trying to burn down federal courthouses with federal workers inside is a bad thing? Just one of you? One?  Could we just hear something like that? Since when is it okay to burn down a federal courthouse?

(crickets)

The Questioning

Democratic Congressman: “You’re a corrupt killer fascist who hates free speech, enjoys seeing innocent protesters broken into pieces, is planning to help Trump steal the election. And incidentally wants millions of people to die from COVID 19.”

Attorney General Barr: “If I may …

Democratic Congressman: “I reclaim my time. Moving on to your torturing of baby kittens …”

Republican Congressman: “Is the Antifa violence in Portland and elsewhere a myth?”

Attorney General Barr: “No.”

Democratic Congresswoman: “You’re a corrupt killer fascist who hates free speech, enjoys seeing innocent protesters broken into pieces, is planning to help Trump steal the election. Wants millions of people to die from COVID 19, tortures baby kittens, and are personally responsible for slavery and the postponement of Wonder Woman 1984.

Attorney General Barr: “That is entirely …”

Democratic Congresswoman: “I reclaim my time. I take that as a confession.”

Attorney General Barr: “This is a hearing. I thought the point was to hear what I have to say.”

Democratic Congresswoman: “I cannot believe you would be so disrespectful to a member of Congress!”

Democratic Congresswoman: “I am getting so angry!” 

The Ending

Attorney General Barr: “May we have a five minute recess?”

Chairman Jerry Nadler: “No.”

Attorney General Barr: “I waited 45 minutes, an hour for you this morning. I haven’t had lunch. I’d like to take a five minute break.”

Chairman Jerry Nadler: “No.”

Attorney General Barr: “You’re a real class act. A real class act.” 

The End.

What a Ridiculous Lot

As absurd as that all sounds that’s pretty much what happened. Much verbatim. Democrats flat out would not let Attorney General Barr answer the questions they posed. He could barely get a syllable out before these “distinguished” members of Congress would jump in. They’d bark about “reclaiming my time,” then roll onto their next unsupported allegation or scenery-chewing rant. At one point, Rep. Lucy McBath, while suggesting Barr wanted people to die of COVID-19, mentioned she’s a cancer survivor. Barr began to respond that he has two children who are cancer survivors. She cut him off.

The patience of Job? Job would have slapped those people silly. 

He’d certainly want to shake them, because in essence theirs was a five-hour defense of mob rule. An insistence that the people who are blinding agents, torching buildings with people inside, hurling bricks at cops, launching explosives at federal workers, are “peaceful.” And Barr, by following the law and trying to protect federal property (and workers), is somehow leader of a band of Nazi stormtroopers. 

Independents and moderate Democrats, were you watching? 

Al Perrotta is the Managing Editor of The Stream and co-author, with @JZmirak, of The Politically Incorrect Guide to Immigration. You can follow him at @StreamingAl. And if you aren’t already, please follow The Stream at @Streamdotorg.