The Tao of Trump

By Heather Wilhelm Published on August 7, 2015

Now that Thursday’s 10-candidate Republican presidential debate is over, you might notice an odd, faint popping sound spreading through your neighborhood. That sound, in case you’re wondering, is a chorus of sensible gaskets quietly blowing over the insane phenomenon that is Donald Trump.

Trump, in all his resplendent, GOP poll-leading glory, sat center stage at the debate, sandwiched between Jeb Bush (who, by polling second, is, as we all know, the first loser) and Scott Walker (No. 3.) Let’s not kid ourselves: We were all wondering what he was going to do. Would he somehow manage to contain himself? If he had, shouldn’t we be even more terrified?

Trump didn’t get where he is by containing himself, of course. His fans love him, I’ve been told, for “telling it like it is,” however crazy that interpretation of “is” might be. Trump may not have a plan for, say, health care — he has embraced single-payer socialist systems in the past, and recently said he’d replace Obamacare with “something terrific” — but he’s never cowed or apologetic. When his cellphone number was publicly outed this week, he turned his voicemail into a campaign ad. This is the Tao of Trump.

The billionaire’s fascinating rise has inspired various journalistic garment-rendings. Among the political classes, it has led to quiet eye rolls more than weeping and gnashing of teeth. Trump’s boom is merely temporary, we are told; he inevitably will implode. Surely people will notice his past Clinton donations; what about the rumors that Bill goaded Trump into a run? Yet, seven weeks in, here we are — and the scoffing has morphed into quiet unease.

“Could we all be wrong?” Jeff Greenfield asks in the latest Politico Magazine. “What if Trump wins?” At the Washington Post, Chris Cillizza updated a June 17 piece that wrote off Trump, calling it “embarrassing” and “wrong.” Around the Internet, Trump is greeted with various sighs of despair, often paired with the insistence that we deserve him; in June, P.J. O’Rourke argued that, with his “garish tastes and awful hair,” Donald Trump actually is America.

This is all fine and good, but to truly learn from The Donald, we need to embrace his Tao. In fact, we should all develop an inner Tao of Trump; not, perhaps, in the sense of offering free helicopter rides to Iowa farm kids — yes, Trump has offered this, and yes, it’s both glorious and terrible — but in the sense of making peace with the eternal, ramshackle ridiculousness of politics as a whole.

In his 6th century B.C. classic text, known as the Tao Te Ching, Chinese sage Lao Tzu reminds us that the wise man “never expects results; thus he is never disappointed.” It goes without saying, I guess, that Lao Tzu would feel right at home in Washington, D.C. — or, even better, in one of many flyover states politely and persistently ignored by their representatives in the nation’s capital. But really, on a cosmic level, is Trump that much more absurd than the band of “serious, smart people” currently running the United States?

When Secretary of State John Kerry — a serious man for serious times, if it’s opposite day — was asked last week if he believes Iran wants to destroy Israel, as Iranian leaders repeatedly declare they’d love to do, he actually said the following: “I don’t know the answer to that.” Seriously, John Kerry? Britney Spears likely knows the answer to that. Heck, my toddler may know the answer to that, and he’s not even potty trained, tries to eat random food scraps off of airport floors, and sincerely believes he will eventually grow a full set of T-rex teeth.

How about Hillary Clinton, the former secretary of state, current cackling presidential aspirant, and walking scandal machine? Earlier this year, thanks to the release of numerous internal e-mails, we learned that Ms. Clinton does not know how to use a fax machine, even when given detailed, step-by-step instructions. Yet this enterprising lady manages to juggle amazing foreign donations to her family’s shady foundation, all while inspiring an FBI investigation into her likely illegal and certainly insecure home e-mail state secret leakage system. Impressive!

Finally, there’s President Barack Obama, currently pushing a nuclear deal with Iran that he admits will lead to our indirect funding of “terrorist organizations,” and which also could lead to an Iranian nuclear bomb. Don’t argue, though: In a grim speech to the nation, Obama compared those opposing the bill to the Iranian “hardliners chanting ‘Death to America.’” During Obama’s scolding speech, by the way, CNN broke the news that an Iranian warship was nonchalantly pointing a gun at an American helicopter. Never mind. Where do we sign?

I could go on and on, but you get the point. If one lesson comes out of the Tao of Trump, it should be this: Politics is often a farce. Politicians are not our betters. They routinely drop the ball on huge and crucial matters — but somehow we’ve set up a system where they have more and more power over every little corner of our lives.

Is this a call to throw in the towel and simply hope for free helicopter rides? No. Is it a reminder that while you can’t harness the power of spectacular golf course fountains adorned with cherubs and stallions, you can certainly attempt to ride the highest spout? That’s poetic, but no. It is, however, a call for skepticism. On the road to 2016, many candidates will call for more government, more projects, and greater, more centralized control. When this happens, remember the Tao of Trump — and let the buyer beware.

 

Heather Wilhelm is a writer based in Austin,Texas. Her work can be found at  http://www.heatherwilhelm.com/ and her Twitter handle is @heatherwilhelm.

This article originally appeared on RealClearPolitics.com on August 6, 2015, and is reprinted with their permission.

 

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