01. Acknowledge your fears.

For Sophie, maintaining a social life after having a baby was a big deal. “I was one of the first in my circle of friends to have a baby,” she says. “I had this negative image of what it would be like from popular culture. I assumed that’s how it was because none of us had any experience of our own to draw on!”

When something is new to us, we assume we can’t simply because we haven’t. Fear of keeping up with the person we were before children is no exception. A great deal of new stresses and anxieties crop up when you become a parent. The thought of taking a needy little person along for drinks can feel like adding unnecessary torture to your cup.

Mary Rose faced the same fear all parents face: What if my child has a huge fit and makes others uncomfortable?

If my 2-year-old explodes because we won’t let her play with the saltshaker (like she did at Sunday brunch), I take her outside. Or a friend distracts her with a cork (true story). Or the hostess hands her a small chocolate cookie (also true). She calms down in minutes, if not immediately. Then we all go back to socializing again. And if she doesn’t? We go home. No big deal.

Whatever your fears are, ignoring or succumbing to them will only restrict you. Rather, think of possible solutions. Children aren’t rabid dogs. When they’re upset, it’s often because they’re hungry, tired, soiled, or bored. Come prepared for these situations. Worse comes to worst, none of them work, and you’ll just have to head home. Would that be the end of the world? Hardly. Is it worth the effort to preserve a part of ourselves and our relationships? Definitely.

Read the article “How to Have a Social Life When You Have a Baby” on verilymag.com.