When ISIL leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi called upon Muslims around the world to join his “caliphate,” Muslims around the world confidently replied that they’d rather do literally anything else.

“Sorry Guv. Colonoscopy booked,” one man wrote. “You should have told me before. I just renewed my pornhub subscription,” wrote another.

On Dec. 26, ISIL social media accounts shared an audio message from al-Baghdadi, believed to be his first public statement since May, when the terrorist group released an audio recording to prove its leader was still alive after he was believed to be injured in an airstrike. Iyad El-Baghdadi, a writer and human rights activist, tweeted a translation of the new message, which included a call to arms

Read the article “‘Mom Said No’: Muslims Mock ISIL leader’s Call for Recruits” on qz.com.