‘I Think I’m Still Gay!’
Have you ever said to yourself, “Where did that thought come from?” Our thoughts not only give us perceptions of experiences but can actually relive the entire experience without any warning.
Our thoughts can be that raging bull in a rodeo that we can try so hard to tame while getting fiercely knocked off. Do we get up again to tackle it or do we just succumb to the power of the mind and accept defeat?
Freedom is a Process
If you have been delivered from homosexuality, a very real and strong process has begun. Immediate results are not always the norm. In fact, the process can take quite some time to walk in complete freedom. One major hindrance to that process is what we allow our minds to dwell on.
Let’s be really honest with ourselves. The flesh and all of its desires did not go away once we became a Christian. Unsolicited sexual thoughts can become front and center at a very unexpected or vulnerable moment. It is at that very moment that we must remind ourselves of the work of Christ in our lives. The thought itself only becomes sin when we make a choice to dwell on it and let it evolve into an action. This is where so many that have received the deliverance of Jesus Christ begin to doubt God. They believe that because they are being bombarded by unhealthy thoughts, then they must still be gay. This is not true. We are free indeed because He promised us freedom (John 8:36).
It is highly unlikely that anyone can live a life free of these types of thoughts. Although the frequency and intensity will die down over time as we get closer to God, our flesh makes it almost impossible to totally eliminate these thoughts. Therefore, we must go back to the One that promises complete freedom to find the help we need. He designed us. He knows what we are made of and He is very aware of our sexuality and the thoughts that come. The sexual desire has been divinely orchestrated to be expressed between the union of a male and female in holy matrimony. Therefore, if God designed us this way, He also designed the way to keep all things holy and acceptable before Him.
Meditate on Lovely and Pure Things
The Bible lets us know that this is not a war with flesh and blood. This is an ultimate battle for your soul (2 Cor. 10:3-6). It is our responsibility to fight every single unholy thought. We cannot sit idly and wait for God to take them away. We must gain control over our thinking by becoming aware of what we allow to go into our mind. We are to be transformed by a daily dose of meditation and study in the Word of God (Rom. 12:2). Meditation on what God says about our life and Who He is causes our thought patterns to change.
Let’s just be real. I can’t expect my thoughts to change if all I feed my thoughts with are movies that promote homosexuality. How will my thoughts ever change if all I surround myself with are people and situations that push the gay agenda. My thoughts have to be established in God. Allow your meditation to be on those things that are lovely, pure, virtuous and praiseworthy (Phil. 4:8).
Christ is Faithful. You Are Free
If you are plagued with thoughts that make you question whether you are still gay, don’t get discouraged and please don’t give up. It is just a thought. You can fight it. The Word of God is the weapon of choice. Take a good dose of scripture. Don’t just read it. Meditate on it. Study it. Rehearse it over and over again until it becomes your thoughts. Ask God for His understanding of what you read.
You can win this battle. You can overcome it. If you asked Christ to free you from homosexuality, then He is faithful. You are free.
Here are a few meditation scriptures to help bring every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. Of course, there are many more, but you can feel free to start here in your walk to victory. (James 4:7, Phil. 4:13, 2 Cor. 10:4-5, I John 4:4, I Cor. 6:19-20 and Matt. 22:37)
This article was originally written for Janet Boynes Ministries and is republished with permission.