Eric Metaxas: A Few More Trumpbible Verses

By Published on September 11, 2015

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was TERRIFIC. And also HUUUUGE. #TrumpBible

And Jesus went out into the desert. But he should’ve invested in hotels there. I mean, I’m killing it in Vegas. A LOT of money. #TrumpBible

He rebuked the wind and said to the sea, “Silence! Be still!” But Jorge Ramos kept talking and talking. #TrumpBible

Love covers a multitude of sins. Sure. But you’d be nuts not to get a prenup. I mean, c’mon. #TrumpBible

And I saw a beast coming out of the sea. It had 10 horns & 7 heads & a 9PM show on Fox. Correct-o-mundo. It was Megyn Kelly. #TrumpBible

And afterward Joshua, son of Nun, died at the age of 110, full of years & with a prostate the size of Shechem & Gilgal combined. #TrumpBible

And Saul told his warriors, “Mexico’s destroying us. We’re a laughingstock.” “We know,” they replied. “Mexico is the new China.”#TrumpBible

And Jesus came to them walking on the waves and said, “Have you seen the polls? I’m, like, WAY ahead. It’s not even close.” #TrumpBible

Read the article “Eric Metaxas: A Few More Trumpbible Verses” on newyorker.com.

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