A Message to Young Women from a Career Woman

By Dennis Prager Published on November 27, 2018

Every Wednesday, the second hour of my national radio show is the “Male/Female Hour.” A few weeks ago, a woman named Jennifer called in. For reasons of space, I have somewhat shortened her comments. Every young woman should read them. This is precisely what she said:

“Dennis, I want to get right to it. I’m 50-years-old with four college degrees. I was raised by a feminist mother with no father in the home. My mother told me get an education to the maximum level so that you can get out in the world, make a lot of money. And that’s the path I followed. I make adequate money. I don’t make a ton of money. But I do make enough to support my own household.

Don’t Do What I did

“I want to tell women in their 20s: Do not follow the path that I followed. You are leading yourself to a life of loneliness. All of your friends will be getting married and having children, and you’re working to compete in the world, and what you’re doing is competing with men. Men don’t like competitors. Men want a partner. It took me until my late 40s to realize this.

“And by the time you have your own household with all your own bills, you can’t get off that track, because now you’ve got to make the money to pay your bills. It’s hard to find a partner in your late 40s to date because you also start losing self-confidence about your looks, your body. It’s not the same as it was in your 20s. You try to do what you can to make your life fulfilling. I have cats and dogs. But it’s lonely when you see your friends having children, going on vacations, planning the lives of their children, and you don’t do anything at night but come home to your cats and dogs. I don’t want other women to do what I have done.”

It’s a Lie

I asked, “Was it hard for you to make this call?”

She responded: “It was. I want to be anonymous because I don’t want people that I know to really know my true feelings. Because you do act like ‘My career is everything. I love working.’ But it’s a lie on the inside for me. It’s unfortunate. I didn’t realize this until it’s too late. I don’t know if it’s too late. I would like to find somebody to go on vacation with.

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“You have other concerns when you get older and you live alone. Who’s going to take you to your medical appointments? If something should happen to you, there’s no other income there to help you. These are things you don’t understand when you’re in your 20s because you don’t think you’ll ever get old and have health problems.

“I’m stuck now because I go to work every day. I smile like I love it, but it’s very painful to not plan a vacation with someone. It’s painful to not have a Thanksgiving dinner with someone. You sit home alone and you do nothing. I avoid my friends now that have children because I have nothing in common with them.

I Ran Out of Time

“Somebody asked me the other day, ‘Why did you stay single and never have kids?’ There’s answers: Because I was brainwashed by my mother into this. But it’s hard and it’s shameful to tell people, ‘I don’t know. I ran out of time.’

“There’s not a good answer for it except ‘I was programmed to get into the workforce, compete with men and make money.’ Supposedly, that would be a fulfilling life. But I was told that by a feminist mother who was divorced, who hated her husband — my father.

“She tried to steer me on what she thought was the right path, but feminism is a lie. That’s what I want women to know.

“I didn’t realize this until late in life. I want to tell women: Find someone in your 20s. That’s when you’re still very cute. That’s when you’re still amiable to working out problems with someone. It’s harder in your 50s, when you’ve lived alone, to compromise with someone, to have someone in your home and every little thing about them annoys you because you’re so used to being alone. It’s hard to undo that, so don’t do what I did. Find someone in your 20s.”

I said, “I’m thinking of transcribing your call and making it a column.”

“Do that, Dennis. I want to help whoever I can,” she said.

 

Dennis Prager is a nationally syndicated radio talk-show host and columnist. His latest book, published by Regnery in April 2018, is The Rational Bible, a commentary on the book of Exodus. He is the founder of Prager University and may be contacted at dennisprager.com.

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  • Karen

    So the alternative is to marry the first loser who asks you at age 15 and spend the rest of your ill-educated poverty-stricken life scrubbing his floors and dodging his punches? Be a stupid, cowardly, weakling and wake up at fifty hating yourself because pretending to be an idiot so that some Penis can feel important also sucks?

    • Charles Burge

      *sigh* is straw-man the only tune you know, Karen?

      • Karen

        So demonstrate the alternative. Where do conservative men enjoy the company of women for anything other than being 22 and pretty?You believe that women are supposed to scrub floors in silence and be constantly pregnant until we die which we have to do before our husband every have to endure seeing a grey hair or extra pound.

        • Charles Burge

          Where do conservative men enjoy the company of women for anything other than being 22 and pretty. In my house, for one, and in the houses of millions of other Christian men too. My wife and I are both in our forties, both getting a little pudgy around the middle, and we love each other more than we did the day we got married. She’s my best friend and I love her heart and her mind.

          You believe that women are supposed to scrub floors in silence and be constantly pregnant until we die which we have to do before our husband every have to endure seeing a grey hair or extra pound.

          No, I don’t, and I’ve stated so elsewhere. Please stop with this constant projecting. You are arguing against nothing except something that exists only in your addled mind.

          I have a challenge for you. Do you know even one Christian woman who is married? If so, invite her out for coffee, and have a conversation with her. Ask her about her marriage, her life, and her dreams and aspirations. I will guarantee you that the life she will describe to you will be 100% different from the caricature that you keep trying to peddle here.

    • Dave M.

      That is the exact and only alternative Karen!. You are so woke that you must really struggle to fall asleep at night..

      • Karen

        So show me where Prager offers anything else? The article posits that having a career ruined this woman’s life. She specifically says to find somone when “you’re still cute and amiable” since obviously every woman past age 25 is hideous and mean. She actually says she hates working. Therefore, it is reasonable to conclude that Prager advocates women getting married as young as legally possible and never having a job. Be a groveling pathetic doormat because men have the unbearable horrible burden of living with something as disgusting as a 30-year-old woman who actually speaks occasionally.

    • Darin H

      Flagged. You need to talk your filthy comments elsewhere. Decent people don’t talk the way you do.

    • James

      False dichotomy, anyone?

  • Garden of Love

    I love Prager’s show, and the Male/Female Hour is spot on. Nobody looks more objectively and clearly at relationships. He could teach more about men and women in an hour than any “women’s study” professor could do in a year.

  • jdwash

    I really want to be sensitive to what I say here, and I fully recognize that there have been a plethora of abuses that have taken place via the various authority structures operating within the earth. That being said, the parallels between the lies of feminism and the lies of the serpent in the garden are disturbing. I wish I had more room to do a proper recapitulation here, but I’ll do my best.

    The overarching lie to the woman in the garden was this: He who is in authority over you, is withholding good from you, and if you rise up in your strength and rebel, you will receive the good that is your inherent right (Genesis 3: 1-6, my summary). Well, we all know where things went from there. The bill of goods that was sold proved to be false, and mankind found itself in an utterly miserable circumstance. So how does this tie to feminism? I’ll explain (step meet toes).

    I don’t know if this is the best way to say this, so I’m just going to say it: Although equal, in this current age women are to rank themselves under men. My proof, in no particular order: Eph 5, 1 Co 11, 1 Pe 3, Col 3, 1 Tim 2, 1 Co 11. Furthermore, it’s interesting to me how God addressed sin in the garden, because it wasn’t in the order in which it came; it was the opposite. Sin came in like this: serpent, woman, man. But God addressed it in the opposite order: man, woman, serpent (Gen 3: 9-14). It was one of the earliest examples of God restoring order to His creation.

    Again, how does this all tie back to feminism? Examine feminism’s message, which is essentially this: You’re not happy. You’re not happy living in subjection to another. You’d be much happier, and much better off if you were in charge, if you…were like God. So rise up against your husband. Usurp his authority. Rebel.

    To me, I see it as the same type of lie that was spoken in the garden. It’s just been repackaged and sold as a new false bill of goods.

  • Lisa

    I heard that radio show, and that lady could have been me, had I made different choices.

    When I was in college at an engineering school, Gloria Steinem visited my campus. After listening to her talk about feminism, I seriously contemplated becoming a feminist for about an hour. Then, I called my boyfriend and consciously chose to reject feminism because I loved him and wanted to choose happiness. Thirty years later, I know I made the right choice. My husband and I are very happy and we have three great kids. No career could match that. Dennis Prager is spot on. Kudos for him and the Stream for publishing this article.

    I also appreciate the analogy of feminism to the garden story in Genesis. Thanks for that thoughtful response, jdwash.

    • jdwash

      Thanks!

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